Purpose

i finished episode five and i am simply. tweaking.

im getting my oil changed and i heard the mechanic go "tee hee hee". whats happening

Season 3 Elias is so goddamn fucking funny to me I forgot what a rollercoaster he was during my first listen.

Like the s2 finale has Jurgen Leitner giving Jon the whole "monsters are real speech" and Jon's like "I need a cigarette. NO ONE get brutal pipe murdered while I'm gone" and Jurgen fails step 1 because Elias walks in and grabs Jon's point-and-click-adventure pipe he'd been carrying around and Brutal Pipe Murders. Which, of course, Jon walks back in on and is prime suspect #1 due to literally every single feature trait and word he's said in the entirety of s2.

So naturally s3 starts with Jon on the lam and Officer Tonner like "I'm gonna arrest him for brutal pipe murder" and I'M like "Shit. I hate this. Elias is going to SO easily pin it on Jon and get away with it."

EXCEPT Elias walks in and is like "hello Ms. Officer no Jon Archivist did not kill that man, also I won't tell you anything else, also this is what you sound like" while reciting all her childhood trauma and all her illegal activity that will get HER sent to jail for brutal murder of the non-pipe variety and now I'm like "....huh." He's also like "Jon didn't do it but you can kill him if you want maybe :)" Elias your alibi????

And then we come BACK with Jon storming Elias's office with his two lesbian bodyguards as back up and he's like "I'm gonna use my powers to make you confess to pipe murder!" At which point Elias is like "It doesn't work on me. But I'm having fun so Martin go get everyone I need to tell you all how I committed pipe murder." and Martin does and Elias is like "Yes I pipe murdered. I also killed Gertrude. I love murder. You will not be compensated extra for this time. Get back to work." And they... DO... just go back to work. Because work is haunted. One of the lesbian police officers works here now, too. This just happened. "Also living dolls from Russia are about to Apocalypse the world, Jon go stop it," Elias says, while also saying "no I'm not gonna tell you how to stop it."

Okay???? Mr. Elias man??? And you're like "maybe he's a ruthless tactician? Maybe he's brutal but it's all in the interest of stopping the doll apocalypse??? He wants to save the earth???" Except THAT'S not even true it's actually more like he's trying to get the Russian dolls kicked out of line at Disney World so HE gets to meet Mickey Mouse first by which I mean, start his OWN Apocalypse, because if the dolls do it first well then what's the point of apocalypsing a planet that's become someone else's sloppy seconds.

Anyway Elias's master strategy here is to bring the human equivalent of a drowned cat to the gun fight and just sit back and watch Jon fall down every set of stairs he finds while Elias goes "This is good. This will work." His name isn't even fucking Elias.

你们应该死

this may be because i’m aroace but i get a bit bored by ships that have a stable, explicitly canon and romantic relationship that involves a stereotypical view of dating and love. i need them to be inextricably linked, metaphysically entangled, two sides of the same coin, foils who bring out the best and worst in each other, so deranged and obsessive that they actively harm others around them. equals with opposing goals that may or may not ever align and a connection that transcends physicality and simple definition. it’s especially fascinating when they blur the lines between devotion and resentment, or just flat out combine them. when they each define themselves by the other’s absence, when there’s some sort of unforgivable rift or a past betrayal or a conflict where they are both at fault, when they detest each other so much they can’t be content together and can’t be content apart, when they’re each the only ones that truly see and understand each other despite the animosity between them. when they both find an equal in each other but instead of joining each other and building a stable relationship or alliance they spiral into some sort of unsettlingly intimate mutually assured destruction. when a character who considers themselves monstrous grows obsessed with and devoted to the monstrosity they helped cultivate and bring out in or can see in another. when there’s religious devotion and imagery, or cannibalism and consumption of flesh, mind melding, body sharing, symbiosis, some sort of mental link, or an understanding of each other so great it honestly doesn’t make a lot of rational sense. when the lines between them blur. it’s also great when they are fundamentally compatible as people and could be together in a different setting but in this one they end up appallingly destructive and codependent and devoted in a way that could never be understood by others or function in any sort of typical real life situation.

the fuck is this??

Dildo Generator

Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….

Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).

Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here

I AM SO BAFFLED BY THE SEASON 4 FINALE. SO MUCH HAPPENED???? THE BUTCHER WORKING WITH ARTHUR, HIM FUCKING DYING??? IM SO UPSET I LOVED HIM. KAYNE I LOVE YOU, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ THE CLIFFHANGER?????????????? I AM GOING TO EXPLODE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ I WILL NEVER EMOTIONALLY RECOVER‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️