19 July 2021

Happy (and proud) to announce that your girl made it to the gym today :) Getting back into my routine was, surprisingly, easier than I thought it would be.

As for what I’ve been doing for my routine, I’ve been continuing with my slightly modified version of the tik tok famous 12330 workout. If you’re not on tik tok or just haven’t heard of the workout, the 12330 workout is a treadmill workout that was created by Lauren Giraldo. Basically, you walk on the treadmill on an incline of 12, speed of 3, for 30 minutes. I’ve been doing a 10330 (Incline 10, speed 3, for 30 minutes). I plan on working my way up, incline wise. I also plan on incorporating additional forms of cardio, such as the stairmaster and elliptical, just to switch things up and to make sure working out doesn’t get to tedious for me.

I also started incorporating weight training last month. Mind you, I am not an expert. I just do what each weight machine says and I pick the ones that target the muscles I’m trying to work.

I’m sure there will be more days and weeks where I have little to no motivation. But, I will just try to push through them, as I did this time around, and listen to my body and gauge how I feel as time goes on.

For now, what I’m doing works for me. I will post more details (e.g. types of weight lifting, diet, etc) when I start to see the results I’m aiming for and when I become more confident with sharing. :)

Stay well, friends.

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tiktok personal motivation exercise workout fitspo fitblr fitspiration from-winded-to-wellness personal fitblr 12330 12330workout hotgirlsummer

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I know this post isn’t going to go with the usual vibe I want for my blog, but I don’t have anywhere else to say this. So my apologies if it’s a bit of a downer. Just keep scrolling. We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming later. This is mostly for me. But anyway…

I’ve been feeling so incredibly lonely lately.

I can’t talk about these feelings with anyone anymore. It’s pointless. I’ve realized that people just don’t want to hear it. Which I totally understand. If you’re experiencing all of these happy milestones (career, love, health, family, etc), the last thing you’d probably want to listen to is an unhappy person who is struggling with the very things you’re thriving in. It probably brings you down. But I really don’t have anyone left at this point to talk to and who would understand. I’m so fucking unhappy. And I feel so fucking unloveable.

I know I’m not a terrible person but sometimes it feels like I am. Otherwise, why is my life like this?

Maybe it’s karma from a previous life that I don’t even remember. Maybe I, unknowingly, crossed a voodoo witch or something. I don’t really know. All I know is, I really want this feeling to go away.

No amount of therapy, self love, going outside and “touching grass,” etc seems to help. I feel like such a shell of a human being right now. I’m so tired and lost.

For any mutuals who see this, if you’ve ever felt this way, has it gotten better? What helped you? Because despite doing everything you’re “supposed to,” I don’t feel any better and things haven’t changed at all for me.

Some days I fear things will never get better for me.

I keep holding onto hope but it’s hard.

It’s even harder when you have to go through something like this alone, because you don’t want to bother anyone anymore.

That’s all I guess…

Until later.

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