Frogbirb - Chihuahua Daddy

me: i want to buy new books

the 10 unread books i bought last year, staring at me from my bookshelf:

Me. I'm the goblin friend.

Ya’ll talk about the Mom Friend and the Older Sibling Friend but I hear nothing about the Goblin Friend

Eats food up off the floor screaming something about the five second rule

Sweatpants count as a look

Throws everything in a pile on the nearest surface as soon as they’re home

“Haha that’s gross let me see”

Hoards of some sort. Mugs, pens, notebooks, anything

Sitting in a dark room for hours wrapped up in seven blankets in front of a laptop unblinking

Makes weird noise effects to express emotions

Laying on random surfaces

I invite my closest friends and family to a gender reveal party, but when I open the box with maniacal flourish instead of pink or blue balloons, a television screen is revealed.

I dim the lights remotely as we hear Cate Blanchett say, “The world is changed. I feel it in the water.”

Too late, they realise.

The pregnancy? A scam.

The Lord of the Rings editions? Extended.

The doors? Locked.

Juicy

Carlisle has good intentions but the people in Forks do NOT

Read more Twilight But Okayer! | Twitter | Instagram | Ko-fi

my boy ratatouille livin the good life im happy for him

[x] Bonus:

i wish i had this man’s “dick out no pants” approach to his work

What the color a character is coded/has the vibes of says about them:

Red: You either

Have an individualist complex

Moody lone wolf vibes

Loud main character energy

You’re a homosexual with a temper and poor impulse control

Green: You are either

The one in your friend group most likely to commit war crimes/get arrested

A huge fucking nerd

Yellow: There are only three types of yellow characters

Soft boys

Stable friend in the group/voice of reason

Bitches with anxiety

And finally

Purple: ... you’re a lot of things but straight isn’t one of them