Tried To Vent In A Trans Space About How, As A Trans Man Who’s Been On T For A Long Time (over 7 Years

the emptiness in me has teeth

JINGLE JANGLE JINGLE

I have been quite busy… but never to busy to be on that Fallout:NV grind. This is my Courier 6 and he does not fear the Mojave, the Mojave fears him.

it was 

I don't trust anyone who hasn't acknowledged their capacity for evil.

day 2, empty

las vegas is a special kind of horrifying compared to the rest of the southwest because you get three different flavors of horror all together. there’s the strip, obviously, the hypnosis of the casinos. you know they intentionally don’t put clocks in casinos? and they put mirrors wherever they can? they’re trying to disorient you so you stay inside. they’re trying to trap you. and the casinos are different but they’re all the same underneath, slots and shows and roulette wheels, the same bones in different bodies. but then you get outside the strip and you’re in the suburbs. it’s flat. barely anything outside the strip is more than two, maybe three storeys. everything is in a strip mall. the houses are identical wherever you go. even the schools - there are two major architectural blueprints for high schools in las vegas. if you’ve been inside one school you can navigate them all. it’s all the same and it’s all normal, in defiance of the neon of the strip. (you can see the beacon from the luxor from anywhere in the city, you can always find your way to the strip, but- is that better, than being somewhere that you know? somewhere that’s the same wherever you go?) and then of course if you step too far outside you’re in the desert. much further and you’re in the mountains. the suburbs are creeping out further and further, taking over, but there will always be desert. summer will always be 120 degrees. there will always be heat and scorpions on the edges and no matter how far you push out you will not be able to build on the mountains. no matter how hard you try the desert will find you. and none of these things are mutually exclusive, not as much as you think. there are slot machines in grocery stores. there are houses behind casinos. there is undeveloped desert in the center of everything, reminding you that the desert was not built to hold you, the desert was not built for this, you should not be here. you shouldn’t be here.

alt gf and gamer bf

"You're so good at writing this character" thanks. They live in my head. I consult them on the plot points. I literally know them.

Already seeing people on tiktok saying “I still hate trump but he ate with this one” like … babes … you just got propagandized … that’s literally exactly what he created this situation in the hopes you would say …