Bigcreak 🌲

SESSION 8 SPOILERS BEWARE ‼️

omg… grians session 8 episode was so silly xD id like to imagine that jim coming back as a ghost was a reward for jim not being first out-also joel saying “nothing wrong with kissing your homies” at the end cracked me up lol

thats some serious dedication mate lmao

My pumpkin for the year, I hate to carve so I painted it. I’m not super happy with it but it’s whatever

One thing that makes me sad to see in the communities of people with disorders that cause highly volatile, intense or irrational emotions is the common sentiment that such emotions cannot be safely expressed to the person that they are about without hurting them.

People seem to feel trapped in not speaking to others about their feelings, making them stew in them alone while the feelings get worse and worse, or letting them explode out at the person in a hurtful fashion.

I wanted to share what works for me. This may not work in every relationship that you have, but it will at least be a way for you to communicate your emotions and know that you are not doing anything wrong by doing do.

The core of this is basically I statements. It sounds very simple and like it should not work, but it is very helpful. It is a bit more complicated than that and I will get into it but tldr; is just make sure you are phrasing things like 'i felt x' or 'i have urges to y' rather than to just say x or y.

For example, I have told my partner that I felt like I hated them and I have urges to cut them off. By phrasing it in this way, they can see that I am having a split, am recognizing that I am having a split, and am trying to communicate with them in a healthy way. Even if I am having negative thoughts about them, by phrasing it as an I statement I am indicating my desire to work through it. This would land very differently if I just said 'I hate you, I am cutting you off' which is a statement of fact and a life altering decision. They would not attempt to comfort me in this situation, they would instead say 'okay bye i guess. fuck you also'

It can feel like it would be terrible to tell them I even felt like I hated them because I worry they would take it as a statement of fact. But by phrasing it as a feeling, they are able to recognize it for what it is and approach me with compassion. It helps if, before you have a split on a person, you explain this to them, especially if they are unfamiliar with disorders that cause splitting. This can help prepare them to read what you are saying correctly as an attempt to communicate rather than a statement of fact.

Doing this can be difficult when you are gripped by a very strong emotion. What I like to do is to write it all down, exactly as it feels. Write in the notes of your phone or in a journal 'I hate you' and whatever else you are feeling without censoring yourself or trying to make an I statement. Then, you can go back over what you wrote and pick out what things you need to talk about, and rephrase it in a constructive manner. Or, if you are close enough to a person that you are both okay with this, you can ask them if it is okay to show them the raw emotions you wrote, with the important disclaimer of you telling them this is how you feel in the moment, and not objective fact.

You do not have to be alone with your emotions. It is okay to talk about your big emotions, even irrational ones, even ones that feel mean. It is just important that when you do, you say it in a way that acknowledges them as emotions and not fact, because presenting it as fact will hurt. Presenting it as the emotions that they are can help the other person to help you, and hopefully you will both be closer at the end, even if the conversation is a difficult one to have.

will graham

3x13

please do not use or repost my art anywhere

(repost bcz i made a mistake in the previous version)

i finally finished

after like- nearly a month of drawing these goobers, im finally done :D i love them so much <333

Psychosis vent drawing (version 1 is more accurate to how i feel but its a pain to look at lol,,,)

Do not use or post my drawings anywhere.

(reblogs are okay)

Guys I think I know what the narrative is this season

It's not a server wide war or a sitcom-esque neighbourhood

It's not Wild Life because everyone is going Wild, but rather because only some people are

Think about it; how many references to past seasons there have been with people being predictable; the near opposite of wild, vs the amount of people who took a 180 in strategy and attitude this particular season

Think of any player and I bet you'll be able to figure out which one they fit in to

It's even the fact that there's one Wild player in each team

Bamboozlers:

Scar - Lotta 3rd Life references from the theme park concept (which was the original idea for Monopoly Mountain), the reputation board, falling off a cliff whilst singing in his base, etc

Lizzie - Base surrounded by greenery, lot of lives (both from last life), created 3 pet parrots (3 pet dogs in Last Life)

They both make references to Secret Life nearing the start of last session with Scar reminding his team how he can handle Etho (then went on to kill Etho) and Lizzie thinking about her party no one came to

But Jimmy? My guy has 5 kills, one of them being a double kill, and is sitting comfortably at 3 lives alongside Scar; which is unexpected to say the least as usually Jimmy's unluckiness causes his teammates to get bad placings, but they all are doing well

Final Girls:

Scott - All his teammates he already teamed up with in past seasons (multiple times in some cases), he is playing his usual strategy of making allies not enemies; he literally said aloud 'We need to start making allies', his sacrificial nature towards his teammates has not changed whatsoever and has had multiple attempts on his life already

Pearl - Her skin is a reference to her red life self, who got particularly popular the last season she teamed with Scott might I add (Double Life), she got herself a dog whose name rhymes with Tilly (Double Life) and she is not particularly liked by Gem because of the season prior (Secret Life)

Cleo - The BigB betrayal is insane to have happen again; both on the 4th session with near identical titles (Last Life), not to mention she again went to Pearl and Scott after it happened. The fact that there was a forest fire this session aswell is really putting the wild in Wild Life

But Impulse? Oh boy, COMPLETE 180

Much more chaotic than usual; hell even Scott, Gem and Cleo pointed out this change. According to them, even his tone of voice has changed this season

Spanners:

Skizz - Loyal to his team as always and is a sweetheart through and through, apologising to Lizzie after he killed her. Again he was the first one killed (Limited Life), is one of the first reds and might be the 3rd out of the series again

Grian - As usual is only mad at the 'cheap' kills others make against himself and others, desperately trying to keep his teammates alive with little success, having a base with bridges (Limited Life) that go no where (Secret Life)

Which leaves Mumbo to be the wild player of this team

And if him causing Scott to die a non-voluntary death for the first time in like seasons, not being as polite with insulting Joel's car, yelling at Martyn and encouraging Grian to kick Skizz out but complimenting him to his face doesn't sound wild for Mumbo, I don't know what does. He's also been particularly attached to Grian, and considering he has the Miner curse (dies soon after the canary, or Jimmy) and Jimmy also seems to be wild, Grian might be this seasons canary

Similar thing with Gem, Etho and Bdubs. Gem saying she misses the kind Impulse, Etho and Bdubs arguing over a horse like every other season, etc

However, I believe Tango and Joel are a mix, leading them to be prominent players this time around. I already talked in a previous post about this season mimicking Last Life particularly Tango + Joel heading down what seems to be similar paths to Joel + Scott in Last Life

With mirroring past seasons players, they are wild with being very different AND the usual with being a walking reference

Tw bpd jealousy vent

Bpd jealousy needs to be talked about more. I have a pretty severe case of it. I get jealous any time my fp gets joy from anything especially anyone who isn’t me.

I know this is “toxic” but it really is something I’m trying to work on. I guess when they get joy from other things, it kinda makes me feel replaceable?

Like the joy I bring them can just be switched out with those other things. If I was out of their life it wouldn’t impact them and they would still be able to be happy.

But if they were out of my life I wouldn’t be able to feel any sort of joy. I feel like I’m always going to be jealous unless my fp hates everyone except me. Or talks to only me.

I really wouldn’t like this though. I want my fp to have a healthy social life. It’s just something I have to learn to deal with. At the same time my whole life revolves around my fp.

I don’t talk to anyone but them, and I really don’t like talking to anyone but them. I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied until I know they love me the way I love them. I just wish I felt content. I hate being jealous so much.

I really am trying to work on it though. I’ve been working on it for a long time, I just don’t think it’s getting easier though :(

I really just want my fp to be happy

Does anyone have any tips to help jealousy pain?

just met hugh. waiting for the panel. apparently he said my art was fantastic idk i blacked out. i feel like ive come home from war. dhmu.