Exam Season Is In Less Than 100 Days , Mocks Are Soon (and I’m Fucking Screwed)

september start, struggles and sixth form

the alliteration came so naturally to me i didn't even realise. soooo september has been something. starting sixth form has been striking to say the least. i thought i'd instantly take to my subjects but surprisingly i haven't. they've been engaging and i've definitely enjoyed media the most, i'm so stoked for when we actually get to make our own projects and such later on in the school year. i have somehow already managed to lose my fine art folder but it's just experimental work so it's whatever. why is september like january? speaking of september its officially autumn yayayayayayay. i can't wait to buy some jumpers and such to go with the brown and beige flares i bought!! i'm doing my best to channel my dark academia phase and romanticise school so i'll do better! oh and my math gcse was sent off for a remark - i was only two marks off of a 7 (A) so i'll tell you how that turns out when i hear back! i gtg catch up with sociology work, i'm sorry if this post was a bit bland but there's not a lot to talk about from this month. until next time! ~Amimi posting this a bit late because i forgot to queue this but oh well.

it's 00:06 am and I'm 18, I can't stop crying over this email from my sociology teacher lol.

of course i find out the black phone is finally on the istreaming website i normally use when i need to sleep so i can get up for ncs, i'm gonna oijfiojgoithjhion. this is my motivation to get through five days

if quarantine doesn’t end soon i’m gonna do something illegal

the rain and the empty streets and silence makes me want to sneak out at night with my black scarf covering my nose and mouth and break into an vintage bookshop and just sit there and read til dawn then leave with precious manuscripts handwritten by the author (preferably jk rowling and harry potter) 

why do I keep getting followed and messaged by accounts with p*rn, they heard teenage female and went 🌞 key demographic!!!!!!

da inspired dates noone will do w/ me

- going to a theatre and watching a Shakespearean play - going to a planetarium or stargazing and sitting in a comfortable silence -  spending time huddled up in a library back to back or gazing at eachother through shelves - writing dates where you meet up and write something together or seperately and exchange writing pieces at the end - watch harry potter together while in a pillow or blanket fort til next time ~Amimi

june (jolly jraining)

............

really had to force the jalliteration (jmastermind ji jknow)

also, before anyone tells me that the title doesn't make sense

yes it does.

sorry for the lack of posts in may, it was a mess and nothing was very new from april so i thought it wouldn't be very notable to write about.

this month has been a whirl wind of events. most notably, i applied and got into a summer residential at the University of South Wales, i'm afraid because of my parents and their safety concerns, i won't be able to attend. i also got tickets to an open day at a film school in London! whether or not i'll be able to attend in July is still quite unclear.

i also went on a bus and travelled outside of my own city for the first time, which was super, super stressful but also really exciting! even if it was a village only 20 minutes away, the friend i was supposed to meet slept in that day and had me bawling on the empty street before grabbing the first bus i saw and hoping i was going the right way. another friend from mosque ended up taking me out to try Baskin Robbins (their chocolate brownie fudge ice cream is to die for)

if there's anything i'm going to always remember from this month though, it has to be my first time at the theatre to see WICKED! at The Apollo Victoria.

I can't even begin to describe it, every detail was on point, the staging felt so real it was surreal, it felt more like a movie than a live performance with all the effects and fantastical props (especially the Wizards giant puppet) and costuming (the emerald city costumes were my favorite) the *minor spoilers* love triangle was very unexpected when it was first introduced, I like how perfectly the narrative fit with the original story of The Wizard of Oz instead of twisting it. Defying Gravity gave me goosebumps. if i had to have one complaint, it would be that the crowds cheering didn't let me catch every word.

After the show was over we got to have our own little qna with the main ensemble, i can't remember everything off the top of my head but the two parts that stuck with me were the answers on starting their careers and being constantly rejected at first. Fieros actor had said "it's not rejection, it's redirection" and the actor for Glinda saying that everyone has a thing "let's say yours is wearing pink, even if you get rejected because of that keep doing it, you'll eventually find someone else who loves wearing pink too". She had called it a weird analogy afterwards, but it was on repeat in my head and pink happens to be my favourite color to wear so it felt a little special coming from someone so cool.

that same day we got to walk around London and all i can say is that I've never felt so at home. well, until next time! Amina

maybe one more cropped excerpt on tumblr will fix me

missing talking to you

my thoughts without context #1

coming back from ncs (week one)

Sat, 30th July - 12:39 i'm back woahhh. this is going to be longgg. the first day of ncs was definitely the worst, but it was still interesting. i got to meet my group and surprisingly most were from my town, i was expecting it to be a lot more mixed with people from different places. the majority of my group (16 people including a Group Leader (GL) and Assistant Group Leader (ATL). in all honesty, my GL was overly enthusiastic and too strict but i really liked my ATL she was super duper cool (i'll talk about her more later) . the part that dragged it down was mainly expectations icl. i thought the place would be a lot nicer than what it actually was (we were expecting cabins but actually stayed in tents, the bathrooms being public were not amazing and the layout was kind of awkward) the food (a poorly made pie) was awful but it slowly got better through the week. the second day was mainly games - we did have a mini olympics but i didn't take part in much so i can't really talk about that - debates, getting to know eachother and a presentation on a sensitive topic - creating a social media campaign which was really cool, one group did a whole rap and it was vibes but they somehow didn't win :(. i made sooo many friends during free time who were mainly from my hometown which i was super happy about. there was some typical teenage drama and oml, tiktok was really not lying when they called it a teenagers love island because it literally was. the third day there was an almost 7-8 hour hike which included lots of activities, it was super sunny out and everyone wanted to go home after the torture but then it was just more free time, small games and activities and chilling so it all calmed down. it did not feel like as short as a time as it was. the days go SLOWWWW. so many instances where i thought it was like 3pm and it was only 11:45am. head on over to pt 2 bc i ended up being so long tumblr would not let me post it lol!