Story Of Us K.h

story of us k.h

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if i could write a story about my life then i would dedicate a whole book about just you and i. i could write pages and pages about everything, from the moment i saw you to the moment i fell for you to the moment everything started to go downhill. 

chapter upon chapter about you. i would dedicate a whole chapter about how dull my life was before you came into it and how you managed to make it so bright so very quickly. i’ll write about how you caught my eyes across the room, drawing me in and then getting me hooked by saying “hello”. 

when they read that they’ll still be naïve to the future, just like i was, they’ll say “they’re the lucky ones” envying our young and picture-perfect love, just like our friends did all those years ago.

my next chapter would be about honeymoon phase, where we couldn’t get our hands off of each other, becoming each other’s oxygen, only being able to live if we were next to each other. how different that is to now. no longer am i the girl i was when i was with you. no longer am i always by your side, no longer having a seat reserved next to you and now having to look for an empty seat in a room full of people. you gave me the key to the cage i didn’t even know i was locked in. i don’t even know where you are in your story anymore, maybe you’re going through your redemption arc, i don’t know.

the chapter after that would be about the fall. not the falling in love part, the falling out of love part. i’ll write about how much easier everything could’ve been if we had just talked to each other, properly. if i had known what i know now maybe we could’ve had it all, we could’ve made it. if i had told you more about me, then maybe we could’ve both broken down the walls i built up. i would write to you kai. not to the readers of our story, but to you. i would write to you about how much i wish, no pray that we could’ve made it work or at least at the minimum, i wish we could’ve at least made it end a little bit better. i wish we didn’t fight as much and i wish we didn’t lose our voices as much due to the words we used to shout at each other. but we can’t change the past, no matter how much i wish i could. 

then i would write about the now, how we manage to stand alone on two opposite sides of the room, not speaking, not looking at each other, just watching the world pass by. i could laugh until my stomach aches at the irony of the situation i found myself in but at the same time i could cry out in anger and sorrow because at the end of the day i still love him because he was there for me, through thick and thin, even when we were at the end. i will write about how much i hope this is affecting you, killing you that you can’t hold me anymore because that’s how i feel. i hope you think of me when you wake up to the moment you fall asleep because i do. and no amount of silly blind dates is going to get you out of my head, but you’ll leave one day because life moves on, we’ll move on, well unless you’ve already moved on but i doubt that, we both had a strong hold on each other’s hearts and you know that.

i wish i could know what you would write kai. would you say the same things about me, would you blame it all on me or would you take the blame? how you would you describe me? would you say i was just another face in the crowd or would you describe me as if you were romeo talking about his sweet juliet. i guess you could say we’re kind of like them only that our families aren’t mortal enemies and did actually love us being together or the fact that we don’t take our lives at the end of our story. okay, maybe that was a bad example but what i mean to say, is that we were a tragedy, star crossed lovers perhaps.

i wonder if you would write about how stupid i defiantly look right now, because i would. i could write about how i’m trying to make myself look busy and that no matter how hard i try, it probably isn’t working at all. you’re probably staring at me and thinking ‘what is going on inside her head?’ and if only you could speak those words out loud, i would be able to say it’s because ‘i love you’. 

it’s a shame i’ll never be able to publish this big book idea of mine, i mean i could, it’s just i don’t want to because it isn’t just my story, it’s ours. that’s besides the point though, because either way i will never say any of this out loud, it will just be another one of those moments that could’ve led to a different path in my life. maybe in another life, we could’ve found each other after all this and i would tell you it all and maybe we could’ve made this damn book a reality but that’s just another ‘would’ve could’ve should’ve’ moment. if only we weren’t so hot headed and quick to jump to conclusions and not so stubborn to admit that we were in fact the person in the wrong. if only i wasn’t such a perfectionist, thriving off of praise and needing that constant reassurance, telling me that i’m doing good or if only you didn’t hold your pride so highly and tightly, unlike how you would hold me. 

if this is my story then i’m scared to see how it ends because i feel as though we have a few more empty pages left to fill, and would you please stop acting as if this is nothing kai? why won’t you just come up to me and tell me you miss me or at least say a ‘hi’ or something. i would be right up for doing that but i’m lost for words right now and i can’t put together the words to describe how much i miss you, hell i’m sure if i went up to you right now, crickets would begin to start chirping, that’s how loud the silence is. almost suffocating.

look at us now kai, we’re just watching the walls and tables collect dust by how long we’ve been avoiding each other and it’s killing me and i can’t help but want you here, in my arms holding me close. i want to know kai, i really want to know whether or not you feel the same way as i do. did you happen to miss me after i left? is this space between us making you want to itch closer to me or am i just making this tension up? how much i curse the world for making us ‘the star-crossed lovers’, i mean how unfair is that, why are we the ones that have fallen victim to this god awful ‘trope’.  

we’re acting as if we’re part of a contest, one where we have to ignore the one person we so desperately want to be close to. i don’t like this game, no in fact i despise it, liking it much better when you were with me, whispering the sweetest words i’m sure the world has ever heard. so many things i wish i had said to you kai but we had such little time, it was practically impossible to squeeze it all in, meaning that i couldn’t. so, we have to accept that not all stories end in a happy ending, and that although the prince did help the damsel in distress leave the danger behind her, the damsel is managing perfectly fine on her own, no matter how much she does miss said prince. 

this is how we end our story though, me and you on opposite sides of the room, not uttering a single world and only taking soft breaths avoiding eye contact with each other but knowing that the other is there. two people who were in love but just not meant to be.

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PIÙ FORTE COGLIONAZZI, PIÙ FORTE

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2 years ago

sunset vows insta au (m. mount)

created in collaboration with @masonmiamor ! the matching fic will be linked here when it is uploaded 🫶🏼

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yourusername

Sunset Vows Insta Au (m. Mount)

liked by yourbff, masonmount & 1,293,947 others

yourusername i take this magnetic force of a man to be lover 😚💍💕

tagged: masonmount

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*comments have been limited*

masonmount my wife 😍😍😍

benchilwell congratulations guys!

sophiaaemelia mr & mrs mount 💕💕

cmpulisic okay but… your husband’s got a lil dumpy 🤭

cartiamallan ❤️

england 💙💙💙💙💙💙

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

masonmount

Sunset Vows Insta Au (m. Mount)
Sunset Vows Insta Au (m. Mount)

liked by chelseafc, yourusername & 2,194,836 others

masonmount yes she’s mine, my mj forever💕💕

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chelseafc congratulations to you both 💙

reecejames congratulations mate!

yourusername & you’re my peter parker🥹

masonmount no i’m your spiderman

cmpulisic can you climb walls?

masonmount no

benchilwell exactly mate. you’re peter parker.

landonorris congratulations 🧡🧡🧡


Tags
2 years ago

king kai in big games? i need that. we need that.

King Kai In Big Games? I Need That. We Need That.
2 years ago

no way?? news came out just after i said whoever wrote script for this season doesn’t deserve a raise??

WE GOT OUR 15 POINTS BACK MOOOVEEEEE

WE GOT OUR 15 POINTS BACK MOOOVEEEEE

Tags
2 years ago

wow taylor really wrote this about them…

like adults — mm

AUTHOR: last part guys

SUMMARY: two people who meet again are destined to be, aren’t they?

WARNINGS: smut, nsfw content, pregnancy

PART I - PART II

Like Adults — Mm

“Oh fucking hell…” you moaned, your hand gripping tightly Mason’s hair as his head stayed between your legs which threatened to close around it, but his strong arms kept them apart. It was just eight in the morning but Mason didn’t seem to be having a single care in the world. The moment his eyes opened he was already going down on you. And who were you to deny him of his wish? You surely didn’t mind. Mason dragged his skillful tongue over your folds, his nose nudging against your clit whenever he’d slip it in your entrance. You whined, feeling a coil forming in your stomach.

“It’s okay, baby, I got you.” He winked at you beneath the sheets, although you were way too hot for them now. Mason ate you out as if you were his breakfast, probably because you were. Your head fell backwards on the pillows, not able to keep the eye contact with him. You were seeing stars, wondering how you could have gone without this for two years. He was such a good distraction, maybe too good since you didn’t even hear when the front door opened and part of his family got inside.

“Mase, yes fuck y-”

“Uncle Mase!” You let out a loud yelp, pulling yourself away from Mason who got hit by one of your legs as you tried to cover yourself up as quickly as possible. His niece stood on the threshold of his room door, his sister right behind her laughing. Mason put on an embarrassed yet cheeky smile whilst you buried yourself in the sheets.

“Hey, baby. What are you two doing here? At eight in the morning?” You sensed a bit of irony in his tone. Mason looked at his niece and then back at his sister, the back of his hand wiping his mouth and chin as he gathered himself. It wasn’t unusual to see him shirtless but you definitely weren’t used to lay around in a thin see through shirt of his when his family was around.

“You said you’d take care of Summer for the day, remember? I have that school trip with the other little monster.” Jaz was still trying to hide the smirk on her face, finding this whole situation very amusing. You sat up, pulling your sheets to cover your torso even though you were wearing a shirt it was way too see through. Summer didn’t seem to understand the situation since she had this wide smile on her lips whilst she tried to climb on the bed.

“Yea yea, sorry. Hey baby, how about you and mommy wait for us in the living room? I bought you that doll you liked so much and it’s in that room.” Mason managed to stop her niece from getting into bed with us which would have only made things worse considering you weren’t wearing anything besides the shirt and Mason was in his underwear as well. Jazmine shot him a glare when she heard his words, she believed her brother spoiled her kids too much but you knew that was just Mason being Mason. He liked making gifts, to you, to his family, to his niece, to his friends. It was part of his love language. Jaz took Summer and closed the door, not before throwing you a knowing wink. You sighed and let yourself fall back on the bed.

“I’m sorry I forgot they were coming over.” He apologized, leaning in to kiss your lips. You shrugged your shoulders, you didn’t mind being with Summer, you loved the kid. You just wished they hadn’t walked in on you in that moment, making things so much more awkward.

“It’s okay, it was just embarrassing.” You giggled out of nervousness. Mason pecked your lips again and again, until you were making out in his bed. He could get very handsy whilst kissing, that was why you weren’t surprised when his fingers began to travel down your stomach and between your legs.

“Mase… We’ve got to go, your niece is waiting for us.” You warned him closing your legs, you weren’t going to enjoy it after the events of the morning and knowing they were just a few rooms away. Mason sighed and retracted his hand, resting his forehead on yours before getting up. You giggled when he took your underwear with him, using it as a bracelet and walking in his bathroom. He could be such a child sometimes. As you laid on Mason’s bed you couldn’t help but think back to the events of the past weeks: after Summer’s birthday party, which didn’t end as tragically as you had anticipated but only with Mason and Rúben a step away from throwing hands, you had taken a few days to think back to whatever had happened. That conversation in Jaz’s kitchen, Mason’s glares and behavior, your emotions and feelings. There was no use in hiding you had missed him and his family, but you needed to talk things out, you couldn’t make the same mistake again. Most of your plan was thrown out the window when he answered his front door in nothing but his sweats. All of this happened a week ago.

“Do you have any plans for today?” Mason asked whilst putting on a sweater, whilst you spat the toothpaste in the sink. It was a random Thursday and he had the day off work. He leaned against the door watching your every move as you dried off your mouth and hands.

“Yea, I promised Rúben I’d pick Eddie up from school.” You explained walking back in the room, grabbing your clothes. You didn’t need to turn around to see Mason had probably rolled his eyes back at the mention of your friend’s name. Even after the previous events of the past week he still wasn’t very fond of Rúben. Not that you expected him to but part of you hoped he would eventually.

“Doesn’t he have a girlfriend or does he like stealing mine?” Mason commented and you widened your eyes at his statement. Girlfriend? You hadn’t really talked about getting back together but you couldn’t really blame him for thinking that. Mason read the surprise and discomfort on your face.

“Sorry, too soon. I’ll be down cooking breakfast.” He pecked your lips before getting out of his room. You could hear Summer giggling as Mason probably entered the room. You sighed and free fell on his bed again. So many thoughts, so many questions. What were you doing anyway? You cursed under your breath before standing up and joining them downstairs.

“You’ve got to be kidding me now…” Mason groaned, brushing a hand through his hair. You bit down onto your bottom lip, realizing you could have phrased it ten times better but there was little to no good way to put it.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d ask.” You explained as you watched him putting his shorts back on and fixing his shirt. It had all started when Mason asked you to come to his practice, telling you some of his teammates’ girlfriends and relatives were coming as well. You didn’t mind, you enjoyed watching him train and you were lucky enough to have the Friday afternoon off work. Of course Mason was incapable of behaving when you were around so halfway through the training he asked you to meet him in the locker rooms. The rest of his team was still outside, taking a small break. You knew Mason’s real intentions the minute you stepped inside that room.

“Fuck… Will you come to the ceremony with me tomorrow night?” He had asked a few minutes after sex. You froze on the spot, moving your attention onto something else like cleaning yourself up as Mason tucked himself back in his boxers. He looked ravishing: with his freshly cut hair, naked arms showing his few tattoos and those shorts you loved because of how well they hugged his thighs. You really didn’t want to ruin the moment.

“I can’t— Mason looked at you in confusion. He knew you had no plans for tomorrow night— Rúben asked me a while ago...” And that was why you were currently in this situation of a raging Mason. The Portuguese player had told you about this silly ceremony a few weeks earlier and you had agreed on being his plus one, knowing Eddie was going to be there as well you didn’t mind help him out with his son if he happened to be needed on stage.

“It’s always fucking Rúben here and there. Why doesn’t he get a fucking nanny or a girlfriend so he can stop annoying us?” Mason was mad. Really mad. The kind of mad you had seen a few times. You knew how much he didn’t like your friendship with Rúben but he had to deal with it because you loved him and his son too much to cut off the friendship.

“I’m sorry, okay? But he asked me first, I can’t bail on him last minute, Mase. Plus we will see each other at the ceremony. It’s not like I’m there as his girlfriend.” You really shouldn’t have said that. Mason’s eyes lit up with an anger and passion you hadn’t seen before. You still hadn’t discussed the whole girlfriend and boyfriend thing, you were postponing the inevitable and you knew it.

“It’s not like you would have come as my girlfriend either, is it? Sometimes I feel like you just want me for sex…” his tone got softer as he spoke the last sentence. Your mouth opened and closed as you took in his admission. Did he really feel this way? Silence fell upon the two of you. It wasn’t as if you didn’t know what to say, you were too scared of hurting him even more. Mason looked at you briefly before grabbing his water bottle.

“I’ll see you after practice.”

Mason couldn’t focus properly for the rest of the training. He couldn’t take his mind off the idea that maybe he was putting more effort than you into this relationship. He even dryly laughed to himself a couple times as he realized he was thinking of you two as a couple when you didn’t even allow him yet to ask you to get back together. Maybe he was too head over heels for you to realize that things hadn’t changed, that you were there but he could’ve never got a hold of you. It hurt him, it fucking hurt him to see you so close yet so far away. Was it going to work out for the two of you this time? Or was he going to get his heart broken again? As he occasionally glanced at you talking to Jorginho's wife his heart skipped a bit. He had hated himself for two years for still loving you just as much as the first time. He hadn't been able to forget you nor hate you, he had needed you like air and now that you were back in his arms he would've done anything to not let go of you again. But did things even change since the las time?

"Meet me at the bar after dinner, okay?" you smiled at Mason whose hands were resting on your hips, a cute pout on his lips as he had to leave you into the arms of Ruben. You didn't know how but you had managed to calm him down, promising him to meet up once supper was over. Mason still wasn't very fond of the idea of you with another man but he had to deal with it. He was old enough to know when to let go of things that didn't really matter. Mason pecked your lips briefly.

"You look gorgeous." he whispered against your lips, Ruben not even paying attention to the two of you as he looked at his son. You blushed and kissed him again. You still hadn't grown used to Mason's kisses, in fact, they were never enough for you.

"You look good too, Mase." you replied letting go of your handsome... What? You still didn't know. Sometimes it was funny to think that neither of you had problems with exchanging effusions in public but still refused to talk about where you stood in this situation. Mason watched you get into Ruben's rented car, the driver keeping the door open for the three of you. Jealousy made his stomach twist and turn but he swallowed his pride and put on a fake smile as he watched you leave. It was going to be a long night.

"Eddie, come sit on my lap, daddy needs to eat." you took the little boy from Ruben's arms. The Portuguese player shot you a grateful glance. The night had been going smoothly, Eddie wanting to be either on his dad's or your lap. You didn't really mind though. You sat among other Manchester City players, such as Jack Grealish and his girlfriend Madison, Phil Foden and his family and Kevin De Bruyne with his wife Michelle. You knew them all, especially Jack who was the one to introduce to all of them.

"You're so sweet to him. Sometimes you look like his mom.” Madison told you as she lovingly watched you play with Eddie. You faked a smile and brought your attention back to the little boy. You loved him to death but even with this whole situation you never had the desire to become a mother. Sometimes you had thought about it, though about how it would feel to become one but you never liked the idea.

“Rúbes, c’mere. You got sauce on your lip.” You laughed as you wiped the sauce off his mouth. The Portuguese winked at you as a thank you and returned to his conversation with Phil.

“Are you sure there’s nothing between you and Rúben? I see a lot of chemistry going on.” Madison smirked at you after seeing that little scene. You giggled, blushing. You loved Rúben but as a friend and nothing more.

“Daddy likes her.” Eddie joined the conversation which made the two of you burst into laughter. As you enjoyed the rest of the dinner accompanied by laughters and jokes, someone else couldn’t say the same. Mason sat a few tables away from you, next to Kai and his girlfriend, Kepa and his fiancé and Jorginho with his wife. He couldn’t focus for more than three minutes on the conversations because his attention was always drawn back to you. He had seen that little exchange with Rúben, which he didn’t enjoy at all and how you held Eddie had his stomach twisting. You looked so beautiful.

“I don’t want to be noisy but didn’t you guys get back together? Why is she with the Manchester City guys?” Kepa asked as he noticed his teammate and friend glaring at your table every second. Mason looked at him and sighed but before he could answer Jorginho did it for him.

“Because she’s Días’ personal baby sitter and our friend here is too scared to make a move.” Mason shot his teammate a glare. He knew Jorginho wasn’t entirely wrong: he was scared to officially ask you to get back together because he wasn’t so sure you’d agree. Mason hated seeing you with Rúben and he hated even more how comfortable you appeared when you were around him and his son. He had lost the count of the times he had pictured himself in that position.

“Shut up. We’re taking it slow.” Mason answered Kepa’s question who sensed his friend was tense enough and decided to stop questioning the situation. It was already messy and complicated, last thing he wanted was to rile his friend up even more.

“Yea, she’s definitely taking it tonight from Días.” Jorginho joked again, enjoying pissing his teammate off. His wife, Alicia, slapped the back of his head which made him finally shut up after a glare shot by Mason. The Chelsea player took a look at his watch: dinner was almost over and he was itching to stand up and get to the bar to be with you.

“Ooh Mason Mount? I see you got your hands full, haven’t you?” Madison giggled sipping on her wine. You had told her about your little situation with the Chelsea player. You smiled, glancing to the just mentioned man who was laughing at something Kai had said. He was so beautiful. The type of beauty you couldn’t see very often, the type of beauty that made your lips smile, the type of beauty that could make you fall in love with just a look.

“Y/N… Hug!” Eddie took your attention when he threw himself at you, his short arms wrapping around your neck as he pulled you impossibly closer. Rúben turned around once he realized his son wasn’t next to him anymore and smiled at the view. He was so glad to have a friend like you in his life, someone who loved Eddie almost as much as he did.

“Okay Spiderman, let go of y/n. She has to talk to some friends now.” Rúben freed you of his son’s grip when he saw Mason approaching your table. You mouthed him a thank you before standing up and joining Mason for a drink. Mason kept his hand on your lower back, guiding you through the crowd towards the bar.

“How's your evening going, handsome?" You asked him after ordering you two a round of drinks. He took a deep breath, this type of ceremonies weren’t his favorite. He always felt as if all eyes were on him and he had to act like the perfect man, always smiling to everyone when he was just feeling tense.

"Better now that I'm with you." he replied, leaning in to peck your lips. You let him although the gesture didn't make you feel very comfortable. You brushed it off, not wanting to upset him. Sometimes you had the impression you were rushing things, after all you hadn’t really discussed yet the reason why you had broken up in the first place but you still pretended everything was fine.

"You look very cute with Edward. I don't like his dad a lot, but you two make a cute duo." Mason commented. Seeing you around Eddie because reminded him of all the things he wanted in his future, with you. But he could still remember the last time you two had talked about this topic and how it didn't end well at all. He didn't want to lose you to someone who wasn't even born. It was ironic how you were both dealing with the same trail of thoughts without actually bringing it up to the other.

"Madison said I look like his mom sometimes." you didn't know why you had said that because by the look on Mason's face you could tell he wasn't one bit amused by the admission. What did she mean by that? Were things more complicated than you let him know? Where was Eddie's mom anyway? Those were the questions that started to appear in his head.

"Would you like that? To be his mom?" Mason asked and the expression on his face appeared very neutral. He genuinely wanted to know and he knew the answer would have had nothing to do with Ruben. You thanked the bartender when he handed you two your drinks.

"No, he's more like a nephew to me. Like Summer." you explained and something inside Mason changed. He was glad you didn't want to be someone else's son's mom but he was a bit jealous you felt the same away about Eddie and his niece. Mason knew his thoughts were a bit childish, but he couldn’t help it.

"I think Summer has a crush on him." He admitted chuckling, changing the subject. You giggled nodding, remembering the two of them interacting and noticing some chemistry.

"Yes. Eddie has told me about her a few times after her birthday." you added. You had gone on play dates with Eddie and Summer a couple times, along with Jasmine obviously. Soon you were joined by Kai, Christian and Sophia. The five of you ordered other drinks and before you knew it you were laughing at whatever came out Kai's mouth.

"I missed you, Y/N. I had no one at games and training's." Sophia admitted. Your lips curved into a soft smile. You had missed her as well, but having stayed so far away from the football world for as long as possible meant you didn't allow yourself to think about it too much.

"I missed you too. And I missed Balou too, how is he?" you asked remembering about the times she had asked you on dates at the park and brought along her sweet Balou. You also remembered Kai being jealous of the fact that their dog was more protective of Sophia than of him.

"He's good. With our new entrance he's going to be so much happier." she said sipping on her coke. Sophia was the kind of friend you had wished to meet all your life, you hadn’t spoken for two years but it felt as if things had never changed. You knew she probably had a lot of questions but due to your surroundings she kept them to herself.

"Aw, you got another dog?" you asked already picturing the sweetest and softest little dog on earth. Sophia chuckled and shook her head before taking your hand into hers and bringing it to her belly.

"No, I'm pregnant. Two months." you were speechless. You stayed quiet with your hand over your mouth. You could not believe your own ears. You quickly glanced at Kai who was talking to Mason, completely clueless to your conversation. They were going to become parents.

"Congratulations! Oh my god." you immediately hugged her, she giggled at your surprised face. You two gain the three boys' attentions who didn't understand your sudden show of affection.

"Oh god, I can't believe this hot head is going to be a dad. Daddy Kai- Oh no, I'm sorry." you laughed, hugging the german footballer as well. You were so happy for them. Mason smiled seeing your happy face. You were so pure and genuine, another reason why he loved you so much. Kai laughed as well, hugging you.

"You're next up, y/n." Kai joked to which you froze, faking a smile and distracting yourself with your drink. Mason looked at how your facial expression changed after Kai's words. He tried not to take it too serious but you had already had that talk and it led to nothing good.

"Who wants another round?"

You sat on Summer's bed, brushing her doll's hair as she played with her uncle. It was the end of December, more precisely New Year's Eve. You were going to spend part of the day with his family and then celebrate with your friends. You looked at the two of them, the big smiles on their lips, Mason's bad jokes which always managed to make his niece laugh, Summer's short arms holding onto his shoulders. He was so sweet to her.

"What are you looking at?" Mason asked you once your niece left you two find her other doll. You shrugged your shoulders and crawled closer to him. The british boy grinned and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer to him as you were sat on Summer's massive carpet. It had been a month since that ceremony and Sophia's revelation and you hadn’t stopped thinking about. In a few weeks she would have held her baby shower and she was so thrilled. You were beyond joyful for the german couple but something kept bothering your mind.

"Just a handsome man in some very fitting pants." You pecked his lips, letting your hand get lost in his hair whilst Mason smirked during the kiss. He had missed this, missed you, missed this sense of familiarity. There was no other woman he wanted to introduce to his family, you were perfect for him, you matched like two pieces of a puzzle. You pulled away and pecked his bearded cheek.

“Don’t you dare shave this, understood?” You jokingly warned him, remembering a time when he decided to shave it all off against your will. He just looked so good with his beard, as much as you loved his clean baby face, you adored this version of Mason. He chuckled and nodded, pecking your cheek before his niece returned.

“When can Eddie and I play again, Auntie y/n?” The blondie asked smiling, her cheeks slightly pink after making the request. You glanced at Mason, trying to hide an amused smirk. Her first crush, this was so cute.

“I’ll text his dad to ask him, okay?” you said pulling out your phone. Summer nodded, taking the doll you were hair brushing just a few minutes before. You didn’t notice that Rúben had actually texted you during this time.

«have you told him?»

«y/n, you know you have to tell him. It’s the right thing to do»

«i’ll always be there for you, no matter what.»

Mason didn’t mean to read your phone but it was on sight and he just wanted to see how you would have phrased Summer’s request. He didn’t mean to intrude but now he was glad he did. What was he talking about? Was Rúben talking about him? What weren’t you telling him? Mason tried to bite his tongue for the rest of the evening, waiting for when you were alone. He didn’t want to cause a scene in front of his family who seemed to love you just as much as they loved you back in the day. Maybe because he had never really told them the truth, nobody except for Jasmine knew the real reason why you two had broken up the first time. As much as he ‘hated’ you he didn’t want his family to feel the same way. So he lied and said that you needed time on your own to figure out your life, that all this fame and popularity that came with being Mason Mount’s girlfriend was too much to handle. They didn’t like that reason either, but it was more understandable. If his parents found out what had actually happened when you two broke up, they probably would have talked him out of dating again. Because they knew, everyone knew why this could have never worked out. But Mason wanted this to work so bad, he didn’t care how much he would have had to sacrifice for you.

“Leo is so cute. He’s turning into a little man.” You commented whilst Mason drove you to Kai and Sophia’s house, where the party was being held. Mason chuckled, remembering how the little one had climbed on your lap during dinner and started to play with your hair. It was all so cute he couldn’t stop smiling. He had said this multiple times but he loved seeing you play with his niece and nephew.

“Yes, Jasmine is scared he’ll turn into a little me. She should be proud of that.” He playfully rolled his eyes, reminiscing on her sister’s words. You giggled, shaking your head. Mason could be a bit of an idiot but you knew he was a great person and a great uncle. The drive to the German couple wasn’t long, most of it spent singing to your questionable playlist. Mason held your hand almost all the time, kissing the back of it occasionally. When you arrived, Kai and Christian were the ones to welcome you inside. Sophia was changing her sweater because someone had spilled a bit of their drink on it.

“Red or black? I really like this one but my belly is so huge I don’t know if it will fit me.” Sophia asked you, showing two of her clothing items. You pressed your lips together, trying to figure out which one would have looked better on her. Eventually she chose to wear the red one. You petted Balou on the head in the meanwhile.

“Can I just text Kai with your phone? I think I forgot to pick up more tissues and I left my phone downstairs.” She asked and you simply handed your phone over to her, your whole attention on her dog. You had really missed Balou.

“Y/n… Are you pregnant?” The blood in your veins froze in that moment. You looked up from Balu, dropping the ball to the ground. Your eyes met Sophia’s who was looking at you in shock. You didn’t know what to say. She must’ve read your texts with Rúben and figured it all out.

“I- Just don’t tell Mason, okay?” You quickly stated. Last thing you needed was him finding out through someone who wasn’t you. She frowned, tilting her head to the side as she handed you your phone back.

“Wait, he doesn’t know?” She asked and you knew there was no escaping, you had to tell her everything now and to be fair you were in need of a girl friend and a good advice in that moment. You sighed, starting to play with the rings on your hand.

“Mason and I broke up two years because I didn’t want to have kids. I never really felt the urge or desire to be a mom and when this came up we had very different points of view. We had to break up. Mason has always dreamed of having a family with kids and dogs and I have never wanted that. A few months ago we met again and we made the terrible mistake to get back together. I don’t know why I let this happen. I love Mason, I really do. There hasn’t been a man before or after him I wanted as much as I wanted him. But two years later I still don’t desire having kids. I don’t know how this happened, I guess karma can be a bit of a bitch sometimes but I don’t know what to say or do. I don’t want this but if Mason found out about it he’d be so excited and I can’t tell him I’m not going to proceed forward with this pregnancy. It’s going to break his heart and I already did that once.” You could feel a couple tears leave your eyes and with a shaking voice you continued to talk because you needed to let it out. Sophia listened to you, not stopping you once. At the end she handed you some tissues as you two sat in silence. It was an ironic moment: two pregnant women with two different ideas. Sophia was thrilled to have this baby with Kai, meanwhile you dreaded the moment you would have eventually told Mason about it.

“You have every right in this world to not want kids. You’re a wonderful woman, friend, girlfriend and daughter with or without a baby. No matter what I’ll stick beside you, y/n. It’s not easy, I know, but if I know you well I’m sure you’ll make the right decision for you.” She took your hands in hers, wiping some of the tears off your cheeks. You smiled at her. Sophia was the kind of friend you could only find once or twice in a lifetime. You nodded, but before you could add anything else someone knocked on the door. You quickly dried your cheeks and fixed your make up as Sophia opened the door.

“Are the ladies ready? Everyone’s downstairs.” Kai pecked his girlfriend’s lips and you spotted Mason right behind him. Sophia shot you a quick glance to which you nodded: you were going to be fine. You joined the three of them, Mason stretching his hand out for you to hold.

“You okay, baby?” He asked pecking your temple and you nodded again, scared your voice would have betrayed you. Whether or not Mason believed your answer, he didn’t question it. It was going to be all fine…

The following hours were full of entertainment thanks to Kai’s bad jokes, Ben’s drunk self and Reece and Christian’s bad karaoke skills. They were all big family and you were glad to have met a group like this one. Mason was beer pong against Jorginho, occasionally asking you to kiss his hand holding the ball for good luck. You stared at him whilst sipping on your coke. How were you going to break this man’s— who was actually just a child in a bigger body— heart again? You couldn’t. Not when he looked so beautiful and at peace. You knew he loved you, he made sure you got that message loud and clear. But you could also tell by the way he looked at you, cared for you, kissed you. He treated as if you were the only thing that mattered in this world. You couldn’t stand the idea of telling him the truth. Sophia had often checked on you when he wasn’t around but no matter how many times you told her you were okay, she knew you weren’t and she couldn’t blame you either.

“Fireworks outside, c’mon!” Kai started to run to the backyard. Everyone followed him. It was five minutes to midnight. Almost the end of another long and eventful year. But you were ending it next to the person you loved the most. Mason hugged you from behind, his chin resting on your shoulder as he looked up at the scheme of red and blue and yellow fireworks.

“2 minutes!” You laughed when Ben tripped and almost fell into the pool, rescued quickly by Reece. The man couldn’t handle alcohol at an age like his, it was worrying. You could hear Mason lughing as well. The simple sound making your stomach twist and butterflies fly around. You felt his hand on your cheeks, implicitly asking you to turn around. You did, his arms still wrapped around your body.

“Happy New Year, baby.” Followed by a soft kiss to the lips whilst the rest of them started to scream and laugh, the fireworks intensified but you blocked it all out. Your only care in the world in that moment was his lips on yours, his delicate touch and his cologne that inebriated your senses. You pulled away to see a beautiful smile painted on his sweet lips.

“I love you.” He murmured for only you to hear. You could feel your cheeks heat up, you knew he loved you but somehow it still had that affect on you. But would he have still loved you if he knew the truth? If he knew what secret you were keeping from him? You had doubts about it. Mason didn’t need you to say it back, he knew you felt the same way. You pressed your lips together and rested your forehead against his chest, trying to stay in the moment. But it was hard, it was hard when you knew you had something he had for so long desired but you couldn’t give it to him.

“Y/n, a shot? You owe me one!” Ben appeared out of nowhere, holding two cups and a bottle of tequila. You pulled away from Mason and shook your head. Ben scrunched his nose up, not liking your answer. You used to be his shots buddy, always taking shots whenever either of you wanted to. It was an unwritten rule: you had to take one shot when Ben wanted and vice versa. Mason too was confused when you declined his offer. In fact, he couldn’t recall you drinking any alcohol that night.

“Have you gone soft on me now, y/n? C’mon!” Ben’s slurred words made you giggle as you tried to find a decent excuse as to why you weren’t going to drink. Sophia was nowhere to be seen, so she couldn’t save you and there was no way you would have admitted the truth to a drunk Ben and Mason.

“Nobody wants to take shots these days. Sophia is pregnant, are you too now? It’s like the period excuse. ‘Sorry, I can’t I’m pregnant’.” Ben found himself and his jokes hilarious, that was why he was laughing his ass off after that line. You tensed, putting on a forced smile. Little did he know… Mason chuckled, more because his friend was absolutely wasted but when he saw the look of dread on your face he worried.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. You shook your head. Ben’s words repeating themselves all over in your head. You were pregnant. You were carrying Mason’s child. It all hit you suddenly. It didn’t hit you when your period was one week late, neither did it hit you when you took three pregnancy tests, nor when you talked to Rúben about it. But in that moment, in front of the man whose child you were carrying realization washed over you: you were pregnant.

“I just- I need a moment.” You excused yourself, stepping away from Mason and Ben walking back inside the house. The british player was so confused. He didn’t think what Ben had said made you upset but he struggled to find a reason to your reaction. You took your phone out of your pocket, scrolling through your contacts and calling the only other person who knew about this.

“Hey, happy new-” “I can’t don’t this, Rúbes, I can’t tell him I’m pregnant. Fuck, I can’t do this to him. I-”

You failed to realize as you ran around in circles in Sophia and Kai’s shared bedroom that someone had followed you. And that someone happened to be your boyfriend. Mason had walked in the house just a couple minutes after you. Your behavior was off and he wanted to understand why. He figured you were either in the bathroom or in one of the rooms, lucky for him his teammate and his girlfriend’s room was the first one he ran into. Karma was once again playing against you. Mason froze on his feet as he heard those words come out of your mouth. You heard the door open too late, turning around to see him stand on the threshold. His face was blank as he stared at you in utter confusion and shock.

“I’ll call you back.— you hung up, you would have had to apologize to Rúben in the morning — Mase?” You called him because he appeared in a state of trance. You could feel your heart beating in your throat as you searched for any sign from him. This was not how you wanted him to find out about it. But did you want him to find out at all?

“You’re- you’re pregnant?” He asked lowly, almost in a whisper. You nodded, biting your bottom lip. A few feet separated you two and you were the one to minimize that distance by stepping closer, but you still didn’t dare come too close. Mason took in that information, trying to process it. A hundred thoughts ran through his mind as he looked at you. This was all he had wished for in the last years. But at the same time he knew this was the last thing you wanted.

“Is it mine?” He asked again. The question was obvious but he still needed to be sure about it. You nodded again. His heart filled with joy and for a second, just for a second, he was happy. Mason walked the distance between the two of you, his arms were soon around you, squeezing you into a hug. You gulped, tears forming at the corners of your eyes. You realized that you were thousand of miles away, you had never felt him so distant.

“I don’t want it, Mase. I’m sorry.” You choked on your words, bursting into tears. Mason tightened the grip around you, keeping you closer as you let it all out. It felt so good to finally tell him but another weight rested in your chest. Mason felt his heart break a little but he knew, he already knew. He should have known better because you had been very clear about this topic. Part of him always wished for you to change your mind. You gripped the hem of his shirt, afraid of falling apart.

“I know, it’s okay…” he whispered in your ear, almost letting his teary eyes get the best of him. But hearing those words you pulled away from his hug, looking up at his red eyes. You dreaded the look on his face but you had seen it coming.

“No, it’s not.” You pulled completely away. Mason shook his head: he wasn’t going through all of this again. He wasn’t letting this happen again. He wasn’t letting go of you again. He dried some of the tears that had rolled down his cheeks. You clenched your jaw, trying to hold back your tears.

“This is not happening. Not again. I love you and I don’t fucking care about anything else, y/n. I’m not leaving you.” He sobbed desperately, trying to touch you, to pull you into another hug but you took a step back shaking your head. He was doing that again, he was letting his love for you cloud his judgement. But this time it was your fault. You should have never walked in his life again, you shouldn’t have gone back to him knowing this would have happened eventually, knowing neither of you had change your mind. You had acted foolishly, you could’ve avoided hurting him again.

“Don’t do this to me, baby. Not again. I can’t take it anymore.” Mason kept going, sitting on the edge of the bed. He had no control over the tears that streamed down his cheeks. He looked so sad, devastated, in pain. What you feared the most was happening right in front your eyes. You shook your head. It was all so confusing and hurtful. You wanted him more than ever but something bigger stood in the middle.

“You want this, Mase. You want this baby. And I don’t blame you, I can’t blame you. You want this life and it fucking hurts because I want to want it too, I want this to be my dream too so fucking bad. But I can’t. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have come back, this is all my fault. I’m sorry, Mase.” You sobbed, your hand covering your mouth as you let go. Mason couldn’t believe his eyes or ears. He couldn’t believe two years later it was happening the same thing all over again. He couldn’t believe it but he should’ve seen it coming. He couldn’t keep avoiding the elephant in the room, he did and now he had to deal with the consequences of it.

“I want you! Listen to me— he stood up, erasing the distance again and cupped your cheeks to raise your face— I don’t care. I want you, I love you. You’re the only of my life. Did you see what happened when you left me? We found our way back to each other. If that isn’t destiny I don’t know what it is. Don’t do this to me again, please.” It was excruciating listening to him cry and beg you to not leave him. Suddenly it all felt so familiar, suddenly you were in your living room, suddenly you were two years younger and suddenly you were leaving your boyfriend all over again. You didn’t say anything for a moment, just bawling your eyes out. The pleading look in his eyes was killing you.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you will never desire to see me carry your baby, tell me you will never feel the urge to watch me hold our baby, tell me you won’t desire to take your kid to school, tell me you won’t feel as if you’re missing out on this experience when all your friends will have their families and kids. Tell me you don’t want this baby.” Your voice was suddenly firm as you stared right into his eyes. You were being fair to him, but you knew he had to face reality and stop escaping from it. You knew he didn’t have all the answers which was already an answer. Mason’s eyes filled with tears again as he stayed silent, keeping the eye contact. He saw all your moments together pass by him altogether. It all felt like a distant memory. Mason sniffed, letting go of your face and taking a step back. You missed his touch immediately.

“When are you going to…?” He gulped, looking down at your stomach. He could already picture it getting bigger and bigger, hearing his kid kicking, talking to them. But he knew he shouldn’t have daydreamed about it. You bit your inner cheek.

“I think this week.” Was your cold answer. You just wanted to get it over with. You weren’t ready for the weeks to come but you had to stay strong for yourself. Mason nodded, looking down at his shoes. So many questions filled his head but none of them made sense in that moment.

“Do you want me to come with you?” He asked. Your facial expression softened and you almost cried again. You knew this would have costed him too much and you would have never asked him to do that. It was already hard for you.

“No, it’s okay. Rúben is coming.” Mason wanted to laugh but he was too tired for any salty answer. He was tired of this movie he had watched way too many times. He liked it a lot but he already knew how it always ended. Silence fell upon the two of you. There wasn’t much left to say. You started to fix your make up, not that it really mattered. Mason looked at you, realizing it was probably going to be the last time and realizing how hard it must have been for you. He stood up, walking closer to you.

“I’m sorry. I hope you find what you really want.” He looked at you softly, the way you looked at someone you loved. His arms around you as he hugged again. You would have missed this, again.

“I wanted you…” you mumbled to yourself, knowing you should have kept it to yourself. But you weren’t thinking straight in that moment. Mason sighed, he could feel his heart and body ache. No amount of training could make him feel this in pain. He didn’t know what to say or do anymore, everything felt pointless. It was all pretty ironic to consider that two years later there you were: breaking up with the man you would have always had feeling for again. Maybe you were right persons at the wrong time or maybe you were never right for each other in the first place.

“Hey Y/N, it’s Summer. Uncle Mase said you guys broke up. I don’t know what it really means but he looked very sad. I just wanted to ask you to please stop making him sad. I love you, Y/N, but he’s so sad when you leave him. I don’t like when Uncle Mase is sad. I hope to see you one day. Good bye, Aunt- Y/N.”


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2 years ago

y’all have like… actual visual images of your mutuals? I’m sorry but I 100% picture you as your icon. even if your icon is like, a candle. I assume you’re a sentient candle


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2 years ago

Hey babe I don’t know if anyone has told you but your links to your master list aren’t working :(

thank u so much for letting me know love,i hope it works now, i changed it on web<3

2 years ago

it’s over🕊️

2 years ago

watching chelsea play football is like watching celebrities flop at the met gala. how are you that rich, spending that much just to look like THAT

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| 19. | she/her | chelsea fc | 🖤🤍

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