I Cannot Help But Identify With The Monsterous And Uncanny. It Is The Tragedy Of A World That Is Not

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Grief

I wrote this in like an hour and based it on my own struggles with grief. Especially grieving those who’ve hurt you. I didn’t edit this at all, if you see glaring issues feel free to lmk so i can fix them. Hope you enjoy ig

“I’m supposed to hate you

I SHOULD HATE YOU

After everything, i should despise you.”

So why is Atsushi crying at the Headmasters grave? Why is he mourning the first father like figure he can remember? Why is he mourning the person who hurt him the most? The person who practically begged him to hate him all those horrible years ago. Dazai said this was normal but it cannot be. He cannot be mourning the person who made him into the monster he is. It goes against everything in him to feel this pain yet he’s sitting there, tearing up and angry. He can feel Byakko pacing, protective and angry, she’s angry about something. She’s trying to protect him but this is one of the wounds she cannot heal. He remembers those few good moments from his childhood. On his fourth birthday, he’d gotten a gift. It was half of an orange, not as much as the other kids would get on their birthdays, but the orange was sweet and juicy.

One year at Christmas, he’d gotten to participate in the caroling with the other kids. The songs were beautiful and there was a warm feeling he got when singing with everyone.

There was one day, after a rough transformation he realized now, where he’d gotten less chores than normal, not by many but enough to not truly exhaust him. He could remember getting an extra dose of nutrients as well, not that he realized it at the time.

Things were not always cruel, they weren’t always painful. Maybe that’s why he was grieving. Maybe it was because he knew about the potential for kindness and that’s what he was mourning. Maybe it was only those shreds of kindness.

He couldn’t possibly be grieving the man who abused him. He couldn’t because that would be wrong.

People tend to cry when their father dies.

The headmaster wasn’t a father to him. No matter what anyone would say or what his heart was screaming. He would refuse it.

Atsushi stared at the gravestone. It was still fairly new yet it was crumbling. It wasn’t being taken care of. Atsushi felt his eyes well up with tears…something he hated. Why did he still want to care for the man who’d hurt him so badly?

The tears of sadness turned to ones of anger and Atsushi went to punch the gravestone. Engraved with the name, dates of life to death, and “In loving memory”, Atsushi wanted to smash it. How could anyone dare love that horrendous monster of a man? Instead of a hard punch, his strength left him at that last second, leaving him bumping the crumbling stone. It was worn, rough, and cold. It hadn’t soaked up any of the Sun’s light and heat.

Atsushi stood up and left. He wiped at his eyes and struggled with the conflict in his heart. Maybe he’d be back, maybe not. But right now, Atsushi just wanted the comfort of the known and familiar. He’d take another murder or kidnapping attempt over any of this.

Murals by johnnymommy19 - E, romance, 42418 words, multi chapter, complete

Temari is a guerrilla artist in her city, with her mark on every building to fight against the burgeoning tech scene that paints the city in a dull gray nothingness. Shikamaru is a traditional artist with many exhibits curated to display his print making genius. With one look at a subject, he can memorize it in minutes and recall the reference behind his eyes with his photographic memory. Shikamaru being the traditionalist he is, thought he had everything in order until a wild new-age artist Temari enters his life and threatens to take his place in the upcoming art scene.

Or

Big city boy meets country girl.

ShikaTemarchival note: this is the first time I’ve ever completed a multi-chapter fic!! Yippee!!

“Halo”

Inojin blush like his mom around his Dad 🥺

not to be a dirty commie or anything but i don't think any one person should have enough money to solve world hunger and then get to decide not to

I remember starting dracula last year and being like what is this why is it just this random man's travel diary, and it's funny to see now how my attitude has changed and I am so excited to read this man's travel diary, like hell yeah dude tell me what time you got to the train station I love you

can't stand them

I don't get why people are purposefully ignoring the queer undertones of The Summer Hikaru Died for the sake of other's liking it.

Don't worry, they don't feel anything towards each other! They say, in order to encourage people to read it. I mean what???

Yes, it's not a love story but. I'm so tired of seeing comments on social media putting down Yoshiki's feelings and development thorough the manga saying that he doesn't feel anything, that his feelings are not important, that it's just horror and that's it. There's no way some people lack this comprehension skills.

Y'all can't just ignore Yoshiki was born and raised in a small village in the middle of nowhere and how being different led him to feel like shit. And that that's one of the topics of the manga, it's explicitly showed. And it is completely OK to have this side of the narrative while being a psychological horror story, yk? No need to erase it.

He's gay, get over it. He's a teen, feels ashamed and lost, he feels trapped in this village, he's troubled, he's different and he's invested in closing paranormal holes with the monster who took over his dead best friend's body, aka TheEntity™, and a spiritual grandma for the sake of the world. It's just queer stories don't always need to be about romance.

The Summer Hikaru Died (anime adaptation) is going to test people's literacy and we all know it's not going to end well. Specially when we're used to see queer couples being fetishized in japanese media.

I'd say this is what media needs. More stories like this one. Romance is not the plot, but feelings still matter for it to exist and develop.

Anyways, don't lose energy trying to tell people and engaging in fights on tiktok comments. Just enjoy that this beautiful manga is getting an adaptation!! I personally love it and I'm waiting for the seventh volume to release <3

Read the manga, it's absolutely beautiful, the art is on point. The whole process of Yoshiki seeing 'Hikaru' (the thing) instead of Hikaru his dead bestie is amazing. It's so well written.

Genya Shinazugawa