I Really Have To Take This Medication For Forever Huh.....

if I gain one more pound on this zyprexa I'm gonna snap

I recently got noise cancelling headphones because I have a lot of sensory issues and misophonia. I have been hesitant to use them because I don't want them to be a crutch but that's stupid. If you need to wear headphones to do the dishes because the sound of silverware clanking together makes you feel like dying then do it. If you need that aid then use it.

If there’s anything I have no patience for, it’s other bipolar people saying deadass that bipolar people shouldn’t have kids. Like maybe YOU shouldn’t. You’re free to make that decision. But don’t let your internalized ableism label me, because most of those people assume that every other bipolar person is as dysfunctional as they are and that simply isn’t true. For example, maybe you struggle to hold down a job? I don’t. Maybe you don’t like children because they are difficult. I do. Many bipolar people are capable of being good parents. And if your argument is that we shouldn’t bring more bipolar people into the world, just fuck you. To say that a bipolar life is worth less than an abled one is pure eugenics mindset, period.

Sometimes I feel less like a person and more like a sentient amalgamation of symptoms

Listen I'm not really in much of a place to talk about fatphobia since I'm not fat myself but like, it's very weird how people talk about weight gain as a side effect of antipsychotics. I was originally told by psychiatrist that he was hesitant to try olanzapine because "it'll make you fat" as if that was somehow worse than mania and psychosis?

Not saying that there aren't any side effects from antipsychotics worth being scared of, but weight gain isn't one of them. It's ingrained into a lot of people to be scared of the weight gain you might experience from antipsychotics, but mental illness is way scarier than being fat. It's just more proof doctors prefer sick thin people to fat healthy people.

I'm so sad my bones ache....

I didn’t ask for this >:(

I love being a women, I love calling myself a women, I love my feminity and seeing the world through the perspective of a girl, I love my radical feminism as a women and the unique experience that gives me. I love taking back my sexualization and seeing myself as beautiful as myself, in every way.

I love being a man, I love seeing the world in a new way and being excepted by male friend groups and validated, I love being masculine and strong well wearing traditionally feminine clothing, I love being able to use the masculinity that has hurt so many as a positive thing to help the world grow.

I love being non-binary, the beauty of the complexness, I can be whatever I want under the name and I can be silly about it. I can call myself gay for liking anyone, I can confuse people who hate my joy. I love to watch other queer people be filled with joy when we meet in public, both under the non-binary umbrella, joined in solidarity.

I love being genderqueer, being everything and nothing at once, calling myself what I am even if you see it as contradictory, I love not having to explain myself and just being queer. I love finding my name in every time I hear another person realize they can just call themselves queer.

I don't wanna take these meds