This Post Genuinely Altered The Trajectory Of My Life And How I Make A Lot Of My Decisions And I Think

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The Arcane Major Arcana

Card II - The High Priestess

The High Priestess is an inner voice. She is focused on awareness, instincts, and spiritual enlightenment. Additionally, intelligence and the sciences are under her purview. She encourages looking to the inner world for guidance in navigating life's uncertainties.

Reversed, the High Priestess warns of a lack of attention to the self. Loss of self-identity, suppression of emotions, or interference from others may lead to incorrect judgement. Mistakes are likely.

Give me chronically fatigued Viktor.

Give me Viktor, falling asleep at his desk in the middle of the day because he’s been staring at those calculations for so long and his head is just too heavy to keep upright anymore, no matter how much sleep he gets.

Give me Viktor, leaving the lab early in the summers until Jayce builds him a personal AC unit, because the heat makes him drowsy.

Give me Viktor, falling asleep at a Council meeting, because it’s dark and he’s sitting and the voices around him have been droning on for hours. He startles when Jayce nudges him to leave. A succinct summary dictated by Mel appears in the lab the next day. (Viktor appreciates this, as it’s hard to focus on Jayce’s words when he’s so exhausted and he’s terrible at summarizing anyway)

Give me Viktor, nearly causing an explosion when his vision blurs/crosses while engineering, resulting in a stray spark. Jayce bans Viktor from operating machinery after 5pm, one of the only lab rules Viktor hates but won’t break.

Give me Viktor, frustrated at a problem for hours, only for Jayce to correct something he had made a mistake on due to brain fog.

Give me Viktor blaring music, drinking religious amounts of caffeine, and blasting his AC to near-freezing to keep himself somewhat alert.

Give me a Viktor who keeps oversleeping, showing up to the lab at noon because Jayce never has the heart to go and wake him when he clearly needs the rest. Viktor eventually moves in with Jayce because he can’t trust himself to wake up anymore, no matter how many alarms he sets. Plus, Jayce lives closer to the lab, and it’s an easier walk in terms of both pain and fatigue.

Give me Viktor leaning on Jayce at an event because there’s no place to sit and putting weight on his crutch relieves the pain in his leg, not the constant exhaustion pulling at his soul. Give me Jayce offering gentle support for that smallest bit of relief.

Give me a Viktor who’s not tired from long nights in the lab, but because of his illness.

really don’t know how you can watch the scene in tpm where palpatine talks directly in padme’s ear in front of the senate, and she’s begging for the galaxy to care about her people dying, and he’s boldly manipulating her into calling that vote of no confidence, she looks like she’s about to burst into tears, absolutely no one is helping her, no one but this evil evil man, and think the prequels portrayed padme as exclusively comfortable & confident in the role of queen. they’re action movies yes, she’s an action hero who is brave and charges into battle, but they are also tragedies. padme is a tragic character. part of that tragedy is her at 14 being put in charge of a whole planet and falling prey to a dark lord’s manipulations. do i wish this element was expanded upon in the movies? yes of course. but i will never understand people acting like it’s not there at all. she was 14. in aotc she says she was too young. it’s right there

cannot watch the new episodes til tomorrow here’s a doodle of her 😔

hello there~

may the 4th be with you doodle dump be apon ye

with arcane’s focus on visual elements, something that’s been nagging on me lately is mel medarda’s final design and why it compounds the tragedy of her story:

firstly, when we see mel in her flashback, she’s already wearing her significant white/gold, but tempered with blue—noticeably missing her mother’s greys and reds, even then, showing her idealogical differences

then in piltover, we see mel as her own self-actualization—all white and gold and black, colors connected to power, and with an elegant cut that still places her slightly apart from piltover fashion. it shows her place as a non-combatant (long skirt) and someone privileged (the pure white) and wealthy (the gold. so much gold.). this is mel medarda at the pinnacle she’s worked so hard to achieve—it’s elegant because she is elegant

which of course becomes subverted when we do see the gold accessories taken away and the white dirtied when she’s kidnapped by the black rose—this is the first and only time we see mel in actual disarray, and it shows how vulnerable she is when she’s outside the political sphere

and after her transformation, we have this costume change, where aside from the increased gold (now representing magical ability instead of just wealth), we have mel in a a skin-tight catsuit style getup, allowing for greater movement, and her hair done in micro-braids in a style that won’t affect her center of gravity. at first, when i was watching, i was confused (especially about the hair), but then i realized—

this isn’t mel dressing herself to reflect a change, this is leblanc’s vision of mel, where power is swiftness and she is markedly different than others in a way that is now impossible to ignore

and she tries to return to her previous sense of self with the white hood, going back to a trademark of her style, but notably this is an outfit worn to conceal, not reveal and show off like her previous iconic dress, and her change is visibly with even just the hood off

and when mel accepts black rose’s help and betrays them and her mother dies, the white hood disappears—try as she might, she cannot go back to who she was, and she stands before noxians as a mage and mother-killer and a wolf, something dangerous

and then, when we see mel leaving piltover, she’s wearing nothing of her original self, but a combination of black rose’s getup and her mother’s colors. there is almost nothing of “mel” in this outfit, as if she’s been subsumed by these two identities—noxian and mage

even her makeup has shifted, with the red line under her eyes and the gold in her lower lip directly copying her mother

this isn’t a mel who’s realized herself in a new identity. this is a mel who, when faced with the enormous loss of her brother, mother, lover and former identity, has fallen into the definitions and roles that were presented to her, and who is now primed to continue the cycles started by her predecessors

and moving on from arcane, i think it would be fascinating to see mel in one of the newer shows to see how she grapples with this and if she either falls back into tradition and dooms herself, or if she’s able to break free and reforge her identity on her own terms

(possibly) hot take: force sensitivity isn't a hereditary trait, nor should it really be. the skywalkers are the exception, not the norm. and they're only the exception because, you know, anakin's dad was literally the force. he was literally force jesus. he's literally half the force. i cannot emphasize enough how much he cannot be used as an example for normal force sensitivity

haven’t even been on break from college for a day and already I have subjected my mom to a rant on generative AI

Words cannot describe my loathing for GenAI but damn I give it my best shot

I WISH IT HAD ALL BEEN DIFFERENT!!!!!