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# 26 . 07. 24

🦴 ! There’s an assumption that all physical therians / holothere identify as an animal on a physical level due to autism, psychosis or due to forming an animal alter.

🐾 ! However, I rarely see people discuss how other aspects of mental health influence their animal identity. In my personal experience, I think that my obsessive compulsions and intrusive thoughts are a rather large part of my identity as a physical therian.

🥩 # content warning for compulsive auto-cannibalism and emetophobia warning

♟️ ! I struggle with compulsive skin eating, I have sustained great nerve damage and broken bones from this, however I cannot digest human flesh and often it comes back up shortly after.

🦴 ! I am then frequently met with the urge to feed my regurgitated flesh to my ‘pups’. Whilst I do not have any children or pets, due to hitting sexual maturity at the age of 7, I deal with incredibly overwhelming maternal instincts despite being a man.

🐾 ! I often see others want to discuss the ugly side of therianthropy, the aspects that repulse most other humans, yet outside of mild species dysphoria, I am yet to see more than a handful of creatures discuss these animalistic urges that aren’t ‘tiktok ready’.

♟️! I am a coyote through and through, not just in appearance or connection. I am more coyote than just a fluffy tail or tall ears, I am coyote in my behaviour and real life too.

you can call me 48 or eighter for short. i prefer he/it pronouns. i am 25 in human years. reanimated wolfdog corpse. radioactive mutant lab experiment.

i post abt my life as a mutant undead wolfdog. i am schizophrenic + psychotic + very anti-social. i am timid, so i do not respond to messages or replies quickly. i promise that im a nice guy, my bark is worse than my bite.

hopefully looking to find other lab experiments or similar creatures and make some friends :3 the scientists want me to practice socializing with others more.

no dni. i block freely. i will be posting nsfw posts occasionally so minors dni. please only message me if you are over 18, thank you.

more info abt my me below...

i am a lab experiment created by humans. i do not know for what reasons, but i know that i was a failed experiment. i have been allowed to wander off on my own, but i am still monitored by scientists.

i am a wolfdog who was reanimated and brought back to life by the scientists. my base dna has been modified heavily so my form tends to be very unstable and changes with my emotions. the more threatened or emotional i am, the more mutated my form becomes.

I am physically an undead wolfdog, whose DNA has been modified and mutated through experimentation. this has caused the side effect of me being very radioactive and my form can change depending on my emotions. (example: my body can grow extra legs and eyes and jaws.)

i am heavily radioactive and my base coat glows a soft blue. my bodily fluids contain very concentrated amounts of radioactive materials (blood, saliva, sweat). i tend to avoid humans and most creatures for this reason, as to not cause harm.

i am part of the snare trap system. I'll probably discuss fellow headmates sometimes but this is my own personal blog so its my space only. uhh the main system host is @an0nsleuth

this is not a roleplay blog btw...i am actually a radioactive mutant experiment and i will be discussing my life experiences. reality checking is not welcome unless requested. piss me off and you will be blocked.

tagging system:

tba

will make this look better in the future.

RT-64 radio telescope - Kalyazin, Russia

memory is a monster

the mountain goats/waste isolation pilot plant warning/john irving/allison meir/waste isolation pilot plant warning/arthur miller/the mountain goats

im starting to suspect that we (the snare trap system) is another layer to the poke system.

its weird. the main system still seems to be stuck in this headspace of "we are a teen and we are still in the trauma". while our system feels more...like an actual adult? and we are able to step away from the trauma better.

the main system is stuck in the events still. like they are in a whirlpool. and we are outside observers. but we also existed in there at some point? we are just...not them anymore.

idk how else ro describe it. maybe layer is not the right term.

but the main system feels like they are still stuck in the "we are in the active abuse events". when it has been years since that has ended. we are in a safer and better place now kinda. still live with one of our kinda abusers? the main one is gone. so we are...safer than before.

it feels strange to have this sense of calm compared to Dune. Dune and I are probably the most connected out of the two systems. even Dune and Sonar are not as...similar as we are.

i feel like im a more mellow version of it. in some ways ig.

idk.

ig i shouldn't dig up too much before a stressful day. everyone in the main system is panicking and losing it. they are so scared of disappointing others. to be able to be so aware and step away from those feelings. that is what convinces me that i am totally separate from them.

i am aware i am not in the bad situation anymore. the main system is not. they still think they are a teen in many ways. i do not. they think that they are still under main abusers watch. i know that we are not.

i am clear headed rn. they are not...i wish i could help them. but their head space is like a mine field. and they are huddled in the middle of it.

i cant approach. i can only observe. Dune and Sonar are vaguely aware of me amd the others but they cannot reach us. i can see their emotions and thoughts and feelings but i cant go and talk to them.

its like being able to log into another computer in read only mode. i cannot modify anything. i can only observe. i try to leave "sticky notes" and such to help them but I know as soon as i stop fronting. there will be chaos again.

...i worry about them. but there is not much more i can do. :(

i just have to try and believe that they will be ok tomorrow.

any other canine therians live away from town n when something goes bump in the night you are ALERT and AWAKE my ears are SWIVELING and my hackles are RAISED WHERE’S THE DANGER WHERE IS IT