This Is Just Marvelous :-)

I’m just saying, the Volturi would get a whole lot more members if they offered to pay off student loans for anyone who was willing to join them. Like, if some random sketchy woman with red eyes came up to me while I was figuring out how I’m gonna pay my next water bill and pay off my student loans and said that if I joined her friends my debts would be paid I would pack my bags and join the immortal life in a heartbeat if it meant I didn’t have to stress over paying back thousands of dollars to the government for the rest of my life.

Shazams got some strange villains

Shazam: Not that I want more villains in the world but damn I wish some of mine would just, I don’t know, rob a bank or have a silly gimmick or something! Like geez. 

Shazam: All of my villains want me dead or dissected! Just once I would like to stop a guy in a colourful costume with an silly name from stealing an artifact related to their gimmick.

The justice league: …………………

Shazam: And banter! I would kill to have some playful banter with my villains but none of them understand my references! They’re all either demons, aliens, old as balls or all three!! IT SUCKS!

The Justice League:……………….

Shazam: THEY THINK VINE IS JUST A PLANT!!!!!

Superman: Wait wait wait, what’s vine if not a plant???

Shazam: I didn’t even do anything to them they just hate me just because I exist or because of my proximity to the guy who gave me powers! I had no control over that!!

Shazam: If I got a list of terms and conditions that said accepting may result in literal demons that want to eat me and the guy who had the job first doing his best to see my head separated from my shoulders I might have reconsidered!!

Flash: Wait really???

Shazam: eh probably not, I can eat bullets now its pretty sick.

Shazam: Even if there were a list of terms and conditions I wouldn’t have read it lmao.

Batman: …Captain, did you not get a choice in your powers?

Zatanna: Hold on did you say demons are trying to EAT YOU?!?!?!

That feeling when you sit in your class, listening to your professor bitching about lgbt+, while reading gay smut fics under the table.

Got another DP x DC prompt for yall:

Things in Amity are going bad, the GIW are getting more aggressive and Jack and Maddie are starting to suspect there is something ghostly going on with Danny and Jazz is scared out of her mind and desperate to get them the hell out or dodge before she comes home one day to find her baby brother strapped to a table in the basement or worse.

She knows there's no way she's going to be able to get custody of Danny though (maybe she's still a minor herself, maybe she is over eighteen but it takes more than being a legal adult to get custody of a kid, and Jazz just doesn't have what the government is looking for and she can't risk Danny getting lost in the system) and even if she could, where could they possibly go? Even if they ran away, they don't have any way to survive.

Half out of her mind with stress and exhaustion late one night she ends up digging through their family tree looking for someone, anyone, that looks like they might be able to help, that could at least get them away from Amity Park if nothing else. She and Danny had each other, and literally anything was better then the nightmare creeping ever closer.

And somehow it doesn't even take that long, maybe luck finally shifting their way for once, maybe Clockwork nudging things along just right, but she finds someone.

As far as family relations go, they're on branches as far away from each other as possible while still being on the same tree. And of course the person in question has a pretty massive criminal background and is still super obviously involved in some shady stuff, but Jazz does her research and can see that - criminal mastermind or no - there's no history of vivisecting children or ghost hunting and honestly the Goonion review is pretty glowing.

Besides, Gotham's ambiant ectoplasm is about the same as Amity Park's, it'll help keep Danny (and her, really, as liminal as she is) healthy.

It's a long shot, but short of fleeing to the Ghost Zone and praying their parents don't chase after them, it's all she’s got. So, using one of Tucker's programs, she gets ahold of a phone number and makes the call.

To say that Oswald Cobblepot is surprised by her reaching out and suspicious of her desperate request would be an under statement.

But he knows a con, and this doesn't sound like one. The girl on the other end of the line sounds close to tears, begging him to hear her out, pleading for his help. When he has his people investigate he finds that Jasmine Fenton isn't lying. They are distant cousins - very distant - and the kids' parents are honestly Arkham levels of insane and the kids' teachers have been getting progressively more frantic in their reporting on their concerns. The notes on Daniel Fenton and the number of visible injuries he's been going to school with are particularly concerning. As is the fact that the Drs. Fenton are apparently scientists on top of being entirely mad.

Call Oswald a soft touch, but there's an old childhood wound deep in his heart that has him feeling for the kids, and from what he’s seen of Jasmine - Jazz, she said to call her, and her little brother is Danny, not Daniel - she's got the kind of drive he admires.

And hell it's not as if he can't afford to put them up in an apartment somewhere out of the way if they turn out to be too much trouble. Besides adopting a couple of sad kids from a shitty home can only be good for his reputation, look how well it worked for Bruce Wayne.

Maybe if he plays his cards right, he can set up a play date with the Wayne kids or something, really get some good networking in.

an AU where everything’s the same except Tony gets chosen by a very powerful relic.

1. Ok, I don’t know which form could the relic have, though I’m imagining something which could wrap itself around Tony because he’s smoll and must be protected. One night Tony’s at the Sanctum waiting for Stephen and Wong to be back from some interdimensional diplomatic mission, and he falls asleep on the couch. Since he started to date Stephen, Tony has sort of developed a healthy sleep pattern, though is still extremely anxious about sleeping in an empty bed. Fact is: Stephen and Wong recovered a very powerful relic and brought it to the Sanctum, and the moment it sees Tony, decides it must protect this wonderful human, so it straight wraps around him like a blanket;

2. Wong is the first to step out of the portal, and he just stares blankly at the scene in front of him because he can’t believe to his eyes. The relic had never shown to be interested in finding a master, according to all the records he and Stephen could collect about it, and now, after a couple of days in the Sanctum, it decided to get attached to someone who’s not even a Sorcerer. If he was surprised when the Cloak chose Strange, now he’s questioning everything he knows about magic;

3. The Cloak, well, it’s extremely jealous of Tony’s relic, but they both agree that Tony can’t be left alone around Rogers and that’s frankly exhausting for all the people involved. Tony knows he will never get along with Steve any longer, but they are on speaking terms and Stephen already lectured the Cloak about not being a jerk with the Captain. He thought it got the message, now he has to do it all over again with two relics;

4. Tony is sure his relic is mad. How can something which always proved to be distant and cold toward humankind decide that he’s worthy of its attention and protection? Stephen tells him that he went through pretty much the same doubts when the Cloak chose him. This sorts of help Tony;

5. Wong tries to convince Tony to learn basic magic because the choice of the relic can indicate that it sees potential in Tony, but it doesn’t work because, despite dating Stephen and knowing that not all magic is bad, he’s still not confident about it and doesn’t want to be closer to it that is necessary;

6. At first, Tony is frightened as fuck to bring his relic on the field. Seriously, he doesn’t want to rip it or something because it’ll be to prove that he’s not worthy, though the relic itself has its own opinion about that. Stephen laughs his ass off when Tony tells him that. Basically, Tony threats the relic as if it’s his child and Stephen finds this too cute.

send me an AU and I’ll write 5+ headcanons

Welcome to Japan

Where cars are parked orderly and in reverse

Where fruits can be cubes

Where people keep left

And lamps have different brightness for double beds

People queue up in lines

Applies to stickers too

Where what you get is the same as the poster

you get waved goodbye..?

Relieving both mind and body

Yup.

Smooth train operator

No embarrassing knocking or barging into rooms to check out if they are occupied

When you need an extra hand

For the selfiestas

Brolly holders

Because normal manhole covers are too mainstream

Think diagonal

And anytime u need to soak your feet

Where you raise responsible adults, not brats

And luggage is organised in color codes

When you need help after the condom broke

Instant sanitary gratification

Why they are so welcome at football matches

Where water is that clean in the drains

Nuff said

Source: imgur.com

Imagine Danny and Hal Jordan meeting one day, Danny revealing that Hal Jordan his is biggest hero for being an Airforce Pilot and the one that kicked started his love for Physics, his dream to becoming an Astronaut. Imagine Hal Jordan just being touched that his kid, ACTUALLY recognized and appreciated him for the planes he flew rather than his Green Lantern duties.

You cannot tell me Hal wouldn’t immediately pull out the adoption papers. And, after all, Barry did say he wanted kids.

Now he’ll have to go through Maddie and Jack.

Aquadad

Based off @phand0mfic s idea of Aquaman adopting Danny

So the big reveal has just happened and it did no GO WELL. Danny ends up on a table with his chest open and the only reason he is able to escape is because Jazz manages to distract their parents. Danny is literally holding himself closed as he dives into the ghost zone, normally this would be the end of it. The zone start mending the wound immediately as he’s slowly flying making his way to the far frozen when he here’s the sound of the specter speeder hot on his trail. He starts flying as fast as he can but he’s getting weak. The zone can sense that he’s in impending danger and opens a portal near him, he dives in transforming as he falls through.

He lands in the Atlantean throne room, human, Vulnerable and scared. He can barely see so when a large Orange blob approaches him Danny freaks out begging him to stop, that he’s sorry, please just don’t hurt him before passing out

King Orin was in a meeting with several council members when the teen appeared at first they were worried it was an attack until they realizes it was a kid. Aquaman approaches the kid who then has a full blown panic attack, begging him not to hurt him and not hearing as he tries to calm him down. He sends everyone out of the room. And cautiously approaches the kids. Who’s pleading with him. Orin nearly stops breathing when he says, “please don’t hurt me, I’m still your son I swear, dad please” seconds later the child is unconscious. Orin goes to see where he is hurt, he removes the white bloodstained shirt and sees RED when he recognizes the barely sealed y shape incision. He rushes the kid to the medical wing, king or not they refuse to let him stay and he demands that they alert him the moment he is out of surgery.

King Orin goes to his wife and explains what happened. She looks him dead in the eye and says what ever you decide I am at your side no matter what. Orin decides there is no way he’s sending this kid back to the monsters that did this to him, that should the child agree he will name him his son. Mera fully agrees, they both understand that Atlantis would not agree with a surface dweller as an heir. So Mera give Orin a LOOK and says well then I’ll e should probably get to work making him a sibling.

The next day Danny wakes up with King Orin at his bedside, he asks if he knows where he is, how he’s doing, what’s his name, Danny introduces himself explains he does not know where he is and lies that he doesn’t know how he got here. Orin eventually breaches the topic of him adopting Danny and he’s in shock, like why me I’m nothing special. Orins like you don’t need to be. Danny accepts.

Danny doesn’t tell anyone about being a half ghost, aquaman just thinks that his new son is a meta with ice powers, because he sneaks away to practice. Neither parent brings it up, worried that this might be why his other parents attacked him. Mera just puts books on Atlantean magic in his room so he can practice with magic with actual guidance, and waits for him to come to her. Mera also does a spell that alters Danny’s lungs so he can breathe underwater and withstand the water pressure. Danny does not like Orm. He doesn’t directly say anything but he gives him serious Vlad vibes so he tries to avoid him.

Danny is actually not in Atlantis when the ocean master attacks, he was in another city hanging out with a friend when he heard about the attack. He rushed home only to find the fight was over. He tackles his parents the moment they are “alone” (Kaldur and Garth are there) and says that he doesn’t know what he’d do if anything happened to them. And if his eyes looked green when he said that it was probably just a trick of the light. He thanks Kaldur and Garth for helping his dad (who is now tearing up because he just called him dad) both of whom say it was an honor. Aquaman gives them the options of continuing their studying or training under him. They each choose. And things are normal except Danny and Kaldur hang out anytime he’s not training, Danny has a crush on Kaldur and Kaldur is absolutely smitten. Aquaman isn’t sure if he wants to encourage the two or (murder) scare Kaldur away from Danny. The dad instinct is strong in this one. Kaldur joins the young justice team and Danny is all for it. Just like in the series kaldur returns to Atlantis but this time it’s to confess to Danny and he states his intentions to his king. Never before has Kaldur has so fear his kind as when he told him what would happen if anything happened to his son. Mera just smiled…it was terrifying. Mera announces her pregnancy and Danny absolutely glows (definitely a trick of the light, totally) and talks about how excited he is. When the attack occurs Danny refuses to leave meras side and to everyone’s surprise he viciously took down a manta goon that got too close with (ghost) Atlantean magic Mera just smiles and says you’ve improved very proudly.

This is getting really long but Kaldur confesses to Danny who tells Kaldur I’m not who you think I am I have a lot of secrets that I’m not ready to share and Kaldur takes his hand and holds his face and says then you do not need to, you can tell me whenever you’re ready . They kiss and have a moment. Kaldur tells Danny his plans to stay in Atlantis so he could be closer to him and Danny vetos that and says he is more than capable of visiting him on the surface, thank you very much. Fast forward ocean master attacks and nearly causes Mera and to lose the baby and this is not okay. Danny follow when Mera was taken because he may or may not have marked her with his ectosigneture to make sure his could protect her. When he sees the ocean master sucking the life force out of his mom and unborn brother he sees GREEN he transforms and tear the area apart, the only reason ocean master escaped with his life is because Danny was worried about the baby and his mom. He meets up with the young justice team and leaves Mera in their care before fleeing to the ghost zone Terrified of their reaction. Eventually danny returns in his human form to find his worried parents who hold him and listen as he explains everything and they just ACCEPT it and danny is overjoyed. He also casually asks his dad if he could get some help learning diplomacy because apparently he’s the new ghost king. Aquaman laughs and says of course you are and they arrange for him to have tutors. Aqualad still goes undercover but Danny knows what’s up and uses that time to study..

Okay I’m gonna stop here or else I won’t stop enjoy!!