I Am Seriously Torn Between Two Good Things. Which One Should I Choose?

My Thoughts About Sherlock’s The Final Problem

I was never one to be thrown off by spoilers. Maybe that’s the very reason why I kept lurking on Tumblr the day the BFI screening and the supposed leak happened. And it was, needless to say, as expected of the Sherlock fandom to blow things up more than they should because, in a way, this entire time, we were shaped by this series to smarter, more vigilant, and to be just like Sherlock: logical, until emotionally compromised.

To summarise:

(I am mostly talking about myself, but hey, feel free to sympathise).

This is why it was puzzling to me why the response was split in half. I saw people who find it amazing and there are some who were deeply disappointed. And it wasn’t until I watched the episode that I understood why.

Some of us expected bigger things ahead because we have been amused by this series in the past, making us theorists. But I realised that they said this series was darker because it dealt with matters of the heart. One that is often more devilish than what the mind can conjure. We were expecting a complete mind game and yet what we got was a harrowing experience through and through.

And yes, I liked it. Loved this episode, in fact. Although I did find the explosion and the 3 men hanging by the window a bit too much to the point of hilarity (it was quite cringey if I’m being honest) but it didn’t make me lose my attachment to the plot because it was a culmination of everything. It has it’s highs and lows, in which I will get into detail.

So as I am drowning (no pun intended) in my own feelings today, I will discuss my assessment of the episode because why the heck not.

That very tacky explosion and the continuity errors

When I saw that shabby, Hollywood-esque explosion from the episode teaser, I laughed out loud and said “WTF”. But hey, I was so emotionally compromised regarding a scene before that (will discuss in a bit) and figured it was okay. 

Plus, there are bloody continuity errors again, and as someone who took videography classes back in Uni, this is kinda funny to me too. 

Mrs. Hudson listening to rock music. 

It’s just worth noting to realise that she and I share the same taste in music. 

“That’s why he stays.”

Onto more serious parts, ever since the part in TAB where Mycroft was assuring Sherlock that he will always be there for his brother, it has always been painful for me to look at him. Maybe it’s because I’m also the eldest child in the family (and I have an equally stubborn brother similar to Sherlock), but think that before Sherlock had anyone, he had no choice but to stick with Mycroft. And it must be painful for him to have this cold and hard facade to keep tabs on his brother who he obviously cares for so much and have someone else (John) be considered more like family when the immediate situation calls for it.

And I think Mycroft knows that. I’m not saying that John doesn’t deserve to be considered family, because he really does. But Mycroft, from the very beginning, knows deep in his heart that if it goes down to choosing between him and John, he would have the shorter end of the stick. And it’s much more painful to think that he knew he was the ultimate cause of it too. 

So, in all honesty, I was already a crying mess 20 minutes in the episode when Sherlock admitted he liked Mycroft’s portrayal of Lady Bracknell. It may seem like a trivial thing, but Mycroft expressed how much Sherlock’s opinion meant to him (with death looming over their heads, mind you), even if it was about a play that had happened years ago, when he simply said, “That’s good to know. I’ve always wondered.”

The girl on the plane

At first, I thought this case was a part of the entire mess. And it wasn’t until the back and forth between Eurus’ challenges and the girl that made me think she was also a trick. 

The parallelisms of the girl asking Sherlock to pay attention to her and Sherlock solving the puzzle to save John correlates to Eurus making him choose again between her and his best friend. It’s an agonising parallelism once you realise it. 

It also showed how Eurus mirrored both Mycroft and Sherlock. She was like what would have happened if one of them went wrong. The idea of loneliness and isolation consumed her and she was desperate to be saved (yes, I do know she’s a bloody psychopath to resort to her measures). 

Maybe Mycroft felt like he did a mistake when he treated Eurus as a case, but it was already too late. This can also show why Eurus preferred Sherlock because he was the emotional one. “What is pain” she asked. And as Sherlock was different from her, maybe she wanted to learn from him as an experiment of sorts. But Redbeard got in the way and her impulse is to get rid of him.

The metaphor of the glass was also worth noting. Just like the parallelism in the line from ASIB where Irene said that Sherlock didn’t know where to look, it was because Sherlock gets easily distracted by his emotions that it affects his logic. He lost the idea of ‘you see but you do not observe’ because was overwhelmed, scared, and he knows that in this situation, he couldn’t trust his mind or his memories. That’s why he didn’t notice the glass. He was trying to understand Eurus to the point that he wasn’t looking at her clearly enough. He was swayed by the illusion of her. 

That’s why Mycroft was very careful with Sherlock. He didn’t want him to fall into the same tendencies as Eurus, seeing as something inside his younger brother broke when Redbeard disappeared. So even if he distanced himself from his brother, he liked to let him know that he was always watching. He let Sherlock know that he was the smarter one so that he would rely on him and not his own instincts as Eurus did. And as we can see, Sherlock does consult Mycroft, even in his mind palace. 

It is worth noting that Eurus is definitely a worse version of Sherlock. She can be cold and vile at one point, and soft and vulnerable the next. But her methods doesn’t change. It was another thing that was constant to all of the Holmes’ siblings.

Eurus and Moriarty

Now, listen. Moriarty will always have a place in my heart. He was the ‘big bad of dreams’, in my opinion, that even if I found Magnussen and Culverton creepy, no amount of craziness will top that…

Until I saw him and Eurus.

To me, it was a toxic yet intriguing combination. The amount of calculation and chaos to have them together was exciting to me that I’m actually craving for more. Yet, that small interaction they had was enough to send chills down my spine and make me feel unnerved. 

In all honesty, I was hoping that Moriarty was alive. The whole recording thing felt a bit weird to me and it was one of the things that I found iffy in this episode. But having Moriarty add to the pressure of Eurus’ games as he does the ticking of the clock, made it a bit forgivable. 

Maybe it was just me missing Moriarty so much? Yep. Probably that. 

Not to mention that despite this being a flashback, James really does know how to make a freaking entrance. 

It was also quite amusing to me how the actress who played Eurus is named Sian Brooke, which reminds me of Richard Brooke, aka Moriarty’s ‘alter ego’. 

“You have to keep it together.”

I wanted to make all of these into separate points, but I think it’s better to just keep them all in one place. This is because it deals with one of the core ideas within the show and how this episode defined them – Sherlock’s relationships. 

Irene’s Theme

Being an Adlock shipper, I simply have to include this part. Not because it cheekily implies the sexual relationship of Irene Adler and Sherlock, but I read into this scene quite differently. 

In Eurus’ own words, she said, “Not Bach. You clearly don’t understand it. Play you.” And in the way the narrative flowed, Eurus shifted from the idea of sex, to manipulation, to Sherlock’s obvious nervousness. Two notes in and she could already tell that this piece was written by her brother out of passion and vulnerability – a weakness she used the entire time. 

But still, why Irene’s Theme to define him through his music? 

I believe it’s because when he met Irene Adler, that’s when Sherlock truly grasped the idea of being attuned to his feelings. If we look back, objectively speaking, ASIB was when he started to get challenged both intellectually and emotionally. He lamented her without really being sure why, he even admitted that he was distracted by her as they were playing ‘the game’, and he went ahead and saved her in a place miles and miles away from home. Finally, to reference TLD, it was made known that he still gets in touch with her from time to time.

And in my assessment, as Mycroft is Sherlock’s calculating and logical half, and John is his moral and emotional compass, Irene was the thin line putting both together. Somehow very similar to how Mary’s role was like.

To connect it with this episode, it was a foreshadowing as to why Sherlock was so rattled by the idea of losing someone important to him. And that someone being a person not part of his immediate inner circle. It was because he was left with a hole of not knowing how to deal with loss. It was a new, yet familiar feeling for him. And Irene Adler rekindled that missing link.

Molly Hooper

I’ll just go ahead and say it. This scene killed me. 

It was cruel in the cruelest of ways because as soon as Sherlock mentioned Molly, everything started to click. He was going to hurt her. And it wasn’t really the fact that it was to save her life that made it cruel, it was the idea that after all these years of Sherlock finally coming into terms of how much Molly Hooper means to him, in a split second he was about to lose her.  You can hear the desperation when he said “I know you’re not an experiment, you’re my friend.” It was like he wanted to tell her to not lose faith in him still.

When John suggested Irene (being the bloody captain of the Adlock yacht), it was obvious to Sherlock that it wasn’t the case. For more logical reasons, if they are still keeping in touch, he would still have her measurements in mind. Plus, Eurus would be smart enough to know that Irene and Sherlock are not the type of people who would adhere to whims of the heart in such a situation.

Whereas with Molly, it was different. Sherlock has been dismissive of her feelings from the beginning. I think Sherlock was genuinely confused as to why Molly was being so hesitant and it was because he thought that after all these years, after all the bullshit he’s done, she would’ve moved on. But he was wrong.

And yet somehow, this scene also showed us that she’s not the Molly we’ve seen from Season 1. She was smart. She must’ve noticed that something was up right at the moment when Sherlock started yelling and pleading. But also keeping herself in mind and how she will not be played around with this simply, she asked Sherlock to say the words first like he meant it and in my opinion, it wasn’t because she was being a martyr and she wanted to hear the words ‘just because’ – she wanted him to know how it feels like to be forced to say things in the face of insensitivity and emotional suffering. She wants him to know that she thought he already knows better.

Only for us to see that Sherlock did mean it. He does love her and she is very dear to him. The way he said the words were very clear, sincere, and it wasn’t forced at all. His very action of wanting to keep her alive was enough to breathe out the words. And to me, it sounded like a goodbye, because he knew he was hurting Molly and that he will lose her. You could see his agony as he was destroying the very coffin that personified his and Molly Hooper’s relationship (EDIT: whether you see this as romantic or not, I leave it up to you. I personally don’t, as I believe that as there are varying degrees of love shown for all of the characters, this episode proved above all that Sherlock is not someone typically attuned to the whole ‘romance’ thing. Still, I am open to the possibility).  

That’s why I was happy to see Molly smiling and visiting in the end montage because things had worked out.

Now, I will need a moment to cry a little bit more before I go back to typing…

Sherlock’s choice

It had to be John. From the very beginning, as I stated above, Mycroft knew he was going to lose this one. I think ever since the night he asked Anthea to monitor Sherlock and John at the beginning of ASIP he knew. 

And I think he finds it enough consolation that Sherlock read through his mask. You can see a change in his facade when Sherlock explained to John that Mycroft was simply making it easy for him to choose who to shoot. It was like an approval he wanted for so long (the minute he started being an asshole, I was screaming at the TV, asking him to stop because dammit Mycroft. You are so predictable!)

It was also quite possible that he was still trying to protect Sherlock from triggering his memories if John, his best friend, dies. The parallelism, of course, leads to another twist of this story that is Victor Trevor (kudos to this reference from the books, btw).

And this is where the line was drawn. I believe that Sherlock’s choice to shoot himself, rather than shooting Mycroft or John, was not because he believed he would be saving them, but is was the idea that he wouldn’t want to witness their death. It was like making him choose a side of himself and that he will never be the same if he were to lose one side or the other.

So to conclude this point, I want to tie it in by saying that Sherlock took John’s advice when he asked him to keep himself together. Because by choosing his own death, he didn’t have to lose either and rip himself apart.

“Context: it’s not good and it’s not bad. It is what it is.”

I think the reason why the fandom is torn with their opinions of the episode was because of the very idea of context. We were forged on subtext –we loved it. Whether it’s for shipping, solving cliffhangers, and even conspiring on theories regarding this ‘final’ episode, we are a fandom that relied on things that are unsaid. And yet in this one, we were made to see how Sherlock’s emotional context worked. (You thought I was gonna rant about certain shipping wars again but nope. Already rested my case in this post so there’s that.)

It showed us how each person we have encountered in this story filled in the flaws of this character, and we are left with a heart behind the legend. To play with the words of Lestrade, Sherlock is now both a great man and a good one. And their cases won’t tell that story, because their adventures will highlight his intellect. But through this we got to see Sherlock as a man. We got to see his heart in its purest form.

It was like a tribute, an end, a beginning, a loop – it was a reminder that the story of this series is about the legend that is Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.

“When all else fails, there are two men sitting, arguing, in a scruffy flat like they’ve always been there, and they always will.”

There were references to both the ACD canon, and other Sherlock tributes (the Stradivarius, Victor Trevor, Rathbone, to name a few), which I found interesting as someone who started with the ACD books before I came across this series.

Overall, this episode made me laugh, cry, feel, think– and I can assure you that I find it refreshing yet lonely. It was like we are seeing a beginning and a backstory, but we are also introduced to a conclusion. It feels sad to say goodbye to Sherlock, if ever that is really the case, but in all honesty, I feel like they did justice to it if this is how it ends. 

In my opinion, there was no trickery or baiting. We saw what we wanted to see, felt what we wanted to feel, and we were warned over and over that we will all come back to these two men, living in 221B Baker Street, solving crimes and leading adventures, and it gave us just that. 

I find it disappointing how Moffat and Gatiss are being slammed for this, too. They were very explicit about the fact that they were the biggest Conan-Doyle nerds and that they were never going to stray that far from his work. Of course, reshaping the story but keeping the core of the 19th century work is what they planned to do. They admittedly said this was their own version of fanfiction. 

Is it underwhelming? I don’t think so. Is Eurus a worthy villain for a finale? I believe she is. I just think it’s better if they stretched the reveal and ‘the game’ throughout the season to make the storyline feel more weaved together. What is my take away from this and the entire series? That everyone can be family. That everyone can be saved. That everyone has a story. 

And just like how this fandom has become a family for most people, don’t set it on fire just because it’s not how you expect it to be. Live in the adventures you loved. Embrace the characters you looked up to. Treasure the friends you have created. One part of the story is not all there is to it. 

And just like how open-ended that final narrative has been, remember that at the end of the day, the rest of the story is still up to you. 

Guys!! guys!! guys!!! What do you think will happen to the Stark storyline next season? Like Jon and Sansa? Ideas? Theories anyone?

What I want in life just in case reality makes me forget

I just want to earn enough money to let me live in a secluded area, with my books,my laptop, phone and internet. Also, I need a cat because somehow I have feelings.

RESTING BITCH FACE

To everyone who thinks I have a problem with you, don’t be so full of yourselves. I don’t give a fuck about you so don’t think that how I look like has something to do with you.

Contributor

Two major types of INTJ

One of the most interesting things I read in relation to personality theory was Cognitive Styles. It is completely separate personality profiling system, but it can be used in conjunction with MBTI. And when you combine the two, you find out that there are two major types of INTJs

The ones that don’t wear a ‘social mask’ (perceiver INTJs)

The ones that do wear a social mask (contributor INTJs)

There are other variations, but these are the most common. Out of the two, the perceiver INTJ’s are the most common. Contributor INTJ’s (I am one of these) often feel out-of-step within the community, because they are always wearing some form of public mask, and always playing the social game, whereas their INTJ perceiver peers denounce such things.

Perceiver INTJs

Hate social games, and usual rebel when possible and do their best to not comply.

They don’t respect authority at all unless its proven itself, and even then, they are forever skeptical.

They have a strong moral compass, and they follow it. They have a very, very strong sense of justice. Pretending to be someone else, i.e. wearing the “social mask” feels dirty, because it is deceptive and not who they really are.

While most like things, they are less concerned with material matters.

They do not care what society thinks of them.

Contributor INTJs

Contributor INTJ’s do care about what society thinks of them. They wear lots of social masks, and they usually wear them well. They play the social game, and they usually do this without being bitter about it (even if it makes them tired).

They key to understand why they do this, is that they are inherently pragmatic. Socializing is often not natural for them but they learn the skills because it pragmatically assists them in achieving their abstract goals. They don’t have an inherent drive to be liked for the sake of being liked, but they want to achieve their goals.

They care more about possessions because things help them get other things; contributor INTJ’s do well in sales and business.

Respect authority more because they take-on social roles when it is necessary.

Because they are incredibly goal-based, their morals tend to be weaker. They are more likely to blur the lines. They will do things to get ahead. Unlike the perceiver INTJ who doesn’t like to lie about who they are (even if it means achieving their goals will be harder), the contributor will “wear the mask”.

  Which type are you?

“In the end, fate and destiny do not just happen out of coincidence. They are products of earnest, simple choices, that make up miraculous moments. Being resolute, making decisions without hesitation, that is what makes timing. He wanted her more than I did, and I should have been more courageous. It was not the traffic light’s fault. It was not timing. It was my many hesitations.”

Arya Stark

Spoilers!!!!!! So did Arya snapped a face from the House of black and white or did she cut it off from the serving girl at Frey house? Was she the same girl who flirted with Jaime? And Jaime has a lingering look on the girl????

MBTI and heartbreak~

(If this does not apply to you, I do apologize. These are purely from my own impressions and experiences.)

ISTJ: When ISTJs go through a heartbreak, they are like zombies. Blank faces with a lot of stormy emotions underneath that they have no idea what to do about. They will often feel loneliness and won’t hop on to another relationship easily.

ISFJ: During a bad time, ISFJs will become incredibly moody and unreasonable. Anything can set them off and trigger their tempers and outbursts as well as plenty of self-pity. They will get over it quickly and are quick to make up to people whom they’ve wronged, but the cycle quickly repeats itself. 

INFJ: It takes INFJs a long time to get over a heartbreak. There will be plenty of thinking as well as weeping. Eventually, they will fast learn that whatever is done is done and they cannot change the past. Soon enough, they have gotten over everything as if it never happened and will smile again. 

INTJ: After heartbreak, it is as if all the emotions they had kept so well-hidden had finally snapped. They cannot comprehend this despairing feeling as well as confused as to how these feelings can be so erratic and chaotic inside their calm disposition. After this passes, their days will be numb and zombie-like.

ISTP: They will hurt and hurt a lot and they have a special way of showing it: biting sarcasm and cynicism. It still hurts though. 

ISFP: They will cry and vent to friends and families. After that, they either go into emotional withdrawal or move on rather fast. 

INTP: Don’t worry, they’re fine…No. They are not. But after a long time of brooding, frustrations and contemplation, they will come to terms with the situation and move on with their lives. 

ESTP: Heartbreak is not such a bad thing for this social butterfly. They simply think of it as an experience to be learned but every so and then, they will have thoughts back on it and feel a strange sense of melancholy and nostalgia.

ESFP: What? Heartbreak? Impossible. -broken and tearful laughters-

ENFP: ENFPs will be rather overdramatic and vocal during heartbreak about their wounds and hurts. They will demonstrate to their peers about how broken they are with negativity and drinking may be involved. However, these are one of the few types that are able to get over their heartbreak the fastest because of the constantly active Fi and its fickleness. 

ENTP: They will vent and cry it all out. But once it’s done for an ENTP, it is absolutely done and they are ready to go out with the world again.

ESTJ: Silence. It is hard to tell what the ESTJs are thinking during horrible times as they like to keep every single complaints and sadness to themselves. They look nonchalant and indifferent from the distance, but upon closer inspection, you can tell they have never forgotten and possibly haven’t gotten over the heartbreak. 

ESFJ: ESFJs during heartbreak will try to heal themselves by ranting and complaining to other people showing them how it’s not them whose heart is broken, but the person who broke their heart. They will try to come off cool as if they are not bothered by anything, but their gossips and rants naturally give everything away.

ENFJ: This is a really sad and unbelievable time for them. ENFJs will constantly question why things went wrong and why was it not fixable. They will probably shed a few tears over this honestly. After that, they start blaming themselves for wrongdoings that they probably didn’t even do.

ENTJ: On the outside, they look completely controlled, self-possessed and utterly impeccable as if they have no care for other people’s miserable souls. On the inside, it feels as if they had been stabbed a thousand times. They do not move on as fast as they like to think they do.

INFP: Contrary to popular belief, INFPs move on the fastest. Because they are so full of internal feelings, by the time of actual heartbreak, they have already used up all of their energy and now there is nothing left but absolute apathy and smiles as they easily move on and leave your sorry ass behind.

Should I leave this beauty behind?

Just a question

Seriously, just asking. What do you guys think when Eurus admitted to having had sex with a nurse Sherlock assumes said person to be a "he/him"?