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For @zartophski as part of the LU writers appreciation event! Read their fic here

My Deil. <3

Part 1

Listen I’m dumb so here’s more of that Ren Faire AU. I will not write an actual fic because my attention span is funky but anyone else can and they can either use this or not use this but here’s how these losers get together in my head. 

So Jaskier already knows he’s got a hard on for Geralt, obviously, he knew that from day one but he didn’t realize it could get WORSE, and it does get WORSE. It’s a couple weeks into Geralt working there and he’s busy so Jaskier doesn’t get to see him that often besides, like… Around the Faire sometimes, when Geralt is checking equipment and things and running errands, so obviously he’s dressed like he belongs at the Faire, which is super attractive and fits Geralt like a dream, plus he’s always kind of sexy and covered in dust or with a smear of grease on his nose from working on something, Jaskier is so down with that. 

Meanwhile Geralt also only sees Jaskier during the Faire and he likes Jaskier, is the thing. Jaskier got him the job, and it’s actually a pretty good job, he likes having a steady income and the work keeps him busy. He doesn’t actually have to deal with people. He also gets to travel. As much he liked fixing the old lady’s sink across the hall every other month (because she was old, and a plumber would take advantage of her, and she doesn’t have a lot of money to begin with, and he’s hardly ever busy and it’s just that the piping is old and keeps coming loose so it’s not even inconvenient) she doesn’t pay him with money, she pays him with overripe papaya and Yen was right, he actually needed a real job. 

He also likes Jaskier because Jaskier is just nice. Jaskier can talk enough for twelve people, so he’s never bothered that Geralt doesn’t have much to say. And he catches on quick to Geralt’s dry humor and snickers at his awful jokes. Geralt’s gruff attitude and perpetually bad mood never seem to dull his so yeah, Jaskier is just a general joy to be around. 

Then one night he can’t sleep so he decides to go wandering around. It’s two AM, the moon is bright, the air is fresh, it’s just NICE out and then he sees Jaskier sitting off at a picnic table and is like, okay, let’s go see what the bard is up to this early in the morning. 

He gets close enough and they both just freeze. Deer in headlights when they see each other. 

Because Jaskier is sitting there in sweatpants and an oversized shirt, eating Taco Bell he had Doordash drop off fifteen minutes ago and writing in a leather journal with a god damn fountain pen that looks like a big feather. Geralt has never seen Jaskier look so human before. He looks vulnerable and young and absolutely beautiful. 

Meanwhile Geralt is wearing an undershirt and jeans that show of his arms and this scar on his shoulder that Jaskier is dying to put his mouth on, and Geralt ALSO looks very human, and real, and not like some 16th century myth of a man, but like someone Jaskier could sit next to and lean against and talk to and maybe even drag this poor man back to the showers and wash out his hair because it had that look to it like Geralt had been sweating all day and hadn’t bothered to rinse it out well. 

They both realize right then and there that they are FUCKED. 

Geralt is like “Couldn’t sleep.” And Jaskier is like, “Need to keep my pop song list updated.”

And it’s awkward until Jaskier invites Geralt to sit down under the pretense of listening to his pop song covers and Geralt obliges but admits that he’s not really a music person, so he’ll probably just say that all of them are fine. And Jaskier’s like, “Cool, I was only going to pretend to take your opinion into consideration anyway, just to be polite.” 

They might make out that night. Who knows. Maybe they just decide that they like each other’s company way more than they thought at first so they keep meeting up like that and THEN make out one night. But they definitely make out one night. 

And after Geralt might end up calling Yennefer in a slight panic because he made out with the bard and fuck, now what, does this mean we’re dating, do I take him on a date, where do you think he would like to go on a date, he makes this little noise when he likes something and it’s great, I want to kiss him more but what if he doesn’t want to kiss more, Yen help. And she laughs and hangs up on his ass. The good thing is while Geralt is gruffly awkward in a way that doesn’t come across as awkward, Jaskier can not only talk for twelve people but also has enough confidence for twelve people, and the next morning he bounds over to kiss Geralt’s cheek and tell him his hair looks like shit and needs a good condition before work.

i think a lot about a post-mm time showing up at lon lon ranch after a few years of wandering. malon still recognizes him

Hangs one of these on the SOLDIER floor

*Sephiroth walks into a room, sees a red toad tied to the ceiling, sees Zack standing under it smiling*

Sephiroth: What have you done to the poor animal?

Zack: Check out my mistleTOAD!

Sephiroth, moving to untie it: You can't use animals for your jokes, Zack, it's unacceptable and harms—

*Sephiroth touches the Touch Me and turns into a toad*

Zack: …

(LATER)

*Angeal walks into the room, sees two toads tied to the ceiling, sees Zack standing under them smiling*

Angeal: Have you seen Sephiroth and Genesis?

Zack: Don't know, don't care, CHECK OUT MY MISTLETOADS!

В жизни ничего прекраснее не видел 😍

three idiots ft the office