I Think A Lot About A Post-mm Time Showing Up At Lon Lon Ranch After A Few Years Of Wandering. Malon

Карта сериалов.

Help me from homework, Doctor!

When you watching videos about "Five Nights At Freddy's" and comes inspiration.

tmw your wasteland translator mainly speaks in prewar southern 😭

That mosquito line came straight from bbprs17 on Reddit

one more part in my Modern AU - this time with motorcycle named Roach and some road trip to find monsters to hunt~ part one - part two - part three

I’ve been waiting all year to post this.

You there, tumblrina, what day is it?

Have y'all ever thought about the impact that Jaskiers song/s about a Witcher, on other witchers? Because i unfortunately have...

Eskel goes back to the tavern to get his coin for killing the monster that terrorized the village for months. The owner had been hostile about accepting a witcher into his tavern, but the man who had given him the job requested they meet here after he was done (if he survived). It had taken him a whole day to find, kill and finally bring back the monsters head.

When he enters the tavern, he expects deafening silence and hostile glares, instead he finds the whole room singing jovially and out of tune. A middle aged man plays the song on his lute as everyone yells the lyrics and laughs. Some turn to look at him and- ah now they'll stop and glare, it was about time- they grin, see the monsters head in his hand and then cheer. Eskel is absolutely lost. The tavern is cheering his deed?! Since when? The most he ever got was a grateful but wary Thank you and if they were feeling generous, some free ale, but this!?

The patrons kept singing to the catchy tune as Eskel tried to make sense of the situation. It took a few more seconds for the words of the song to register in his brain

Toss a coin to your Witcher!

Oh Valley of Plenty! Oooh!!

Toss a coin to your Witcher

A friend of humanity!

A song that paints Witcher in a positive light?! That made no fucking sense, no one wrote positive songs about witchers, let alone ones that encourage people to pay them! He's just about to sneak to the corner of the bar and quietly wait for his employer to pay him, then mount his horse and leave before the villagers sobered up, when someone, the tavern owner he recognizes, catches his arm and although a bit reluctantly, offers him a free dinner and a room for the night. Needless to say Eskel is shocked, even if his face doesn't show it, but accepts the offer anyway. The song is played at least 3 more times for the rest of the night and he falls asleep with the tune engraved in his mind, and the lyrics dancing in his ears as he dreams.

. . .

Lambert has just entered the small town when a bunch of kids, playing with long sticks and fake swords, see and approach him. He glares down at them to scare them off so they leave before their mothers see and curse him for daring to look at their children. Unfortunately the kids don't seem to have an ounce of self preservation in them since they barely budge. One looks at him straight in the eye and says "Are you a Witcher?" to which he replies "Yes, and unless your parents want me to kill a monster for them then you should move along and not bother me." He expects them to run away now, after the hostility and the glare to go with it, but the kids only look at each other and grin up at him "Cool! Here!" They put their hands inside their trousers and skirts and pull out... A coin? Bronze coins and silver ones, three of them aren't even coins he's pretty sure they're just wooden disks of the same shape of a coin, they hold them up to him and look at him expectantly. But Lambert is so confused that they might as well be asking him to figure out the meaning of life. Finally the kids get tired of waiting for him to make a move and one suggests "Maybe we need to *toss* them at him! Like the song says!" Absolutely genius! All the kids agree and Lambert finds himself being thrown coins at by a bunch of children and that's what it takes for him to snap out of his confusion. "Hey cut that out! God damn it, what do you think you're doing?!" He yells and that finally attracts the attention of a few adults who recognize his attire and swords. Finally, they'd come and take their children away, maybe curse and glare at him a bit, but at least no more weird brats. What happens though, is not expected at all. A round, friendly looking man comes closer to see if everything is ok, he tells the kids to go back to playing then turns to Lambert and Smiles? at him. "Kids take things a bit too seriously he heh. Are you looking for a job?" No outright fear, only caution of meeting a stranger, no hostility, no cursing at him for talking to the kids. Lambert is starting to think he's going insane or this is the friendliest town in the continent. The man takes him to a bar where a bard is singing. The tune is annoyingly catchy, the lyrics though... What the fuck?! That's why the kids threw coins at him?! A friend of humanity?? Was that the reason no one glared at him when he entered the bar? Just how popular was this song?! Who wrote it? Who would write such a song for witchers?!

When he asked the barman he said a bard named "Jaskier" who travelled with a witcher and wrote ballads inspired by his adventures. The song got changed a lot from bard to bard but the Witcher was always called Gerald of Rivia, The White Wolf. Lambert was sooo going to bring that up to Vesemir when he went back home. But for now he needed a job... On his way home he couldn't stop humming the stupid tune...

When Gerald brings Ciri and Jaskier to Kaer Morhen he expects his brothers to either ignore the bard and act like he doesn't exist, or tease and make fun of him until he leaves on his own. He's hoping for the first option even if it's not ideal.

What actually happens though is beyond his imagination... Eskel and Lambert look at him and then at each other. Then their eyes travel to the bard and the princess at his sides. He prepares himself for the jabs that would soon come from Lambert and the mild teasing from Eskel. Nothing comes, they're looking at him, each with a raised eyebrow "welcome back *White Wolf*" they say and he sighs. "Where's Vesemir?" He asks and the two get up. Ignoring his question Eskel asks one of his own "Soo... Is this the famous Jaskier?" And Gerald can physically feel the thin string of hesitance inside Jaskier snap and he steps up to his brothers. "The one and only! It's a pleasure to finally meet Geralds family! You two are way more handsome in person than what Gerald described you, but again, he is hopeless with details!" The two witchers look at Gerald pointedly and he shrugs, did they expect he'd wax poetry about their ugly faces?

He gives up on trying to understand what the hell is going on with his brothers, and heads to find Vesemir. Ciri stays behind with Jaskier and they seem to be doing just fine, hopefully they won't eat him alive.

It takes Gerald a few days to realize that Eskel and Lambert have no intention on eating alive his bard, actually, they seemed to want to get to know him, befriend him. They looked at him as if he was some mysterious puzzle they couldn't seem to understand.

It takes him a bit more to realize his brothers are fans of his bard!? He would laugh if it wasn't the weirdest shit he'd ever had to see. Two grown ass witchers, following a bard around like puppies, because they liked his songs?! Ciri thinks it's cute and Vesemir finds it hilarious. Gerald finds he's loosing his mind. And Jaskier? The little asshole is enjoying this whole thing too much, he seems more than eager to give them attention and sing songs about their adventures, which they describe in detail "You should learn something Gerald!".

Gerald just wants to catch a break...

Here, I’ll help you. Г

Just take it from me.