Eddie-takahe - Screaming Crying Throwing Up

the year is 2043. william shatner, 112, is grabbing his aide's hand, begging her to get closer, his hold unexpectedly strong

"when kirk and spock had sex kirk was always the top. he never took it up the ass" he says, before immediately flatlining

The Spares, Part 1

Based on this post. Thanks for the inspo @torchwood-99!

"getting laid" is very hot and sexy. "getting off"? great news as well. so you would think "getting laid off" would be wonderful news for your penis. but alas

Finrod: born to tra-la-la-lally, forced to sing in answer a song of staying resisting battling against power of secrets kept strength like a tower and trust unbroken freedom escape of changing and of shifting shape of snares eluded broken traps the prison opening the chain that snaps

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING (2001)

A List of Very Convincing Reasons why Elrond Peredhel Cannot become Noldor High King after Gil-Galad, written by Dnorle Lehderep

He's like Finwe's great great great grandson; that's clearly too many generations away.

Also he's technically a Feanorian and they're like, super cursed and also dispossessed so maybe he shouldn't be in the line of succession.

No one can agree on whether his claim comes from the Nolofinwean or Feanorian lines. Clearly the best solution to this is for him to not be king.

Galadriel is right there.

He turns into a bird sometimes and everyone knows that birds can't be elf-kings that would be silly.

Yes, he does have one of the three rings "for elvish kings" but Cirdan also has one of those, and he's not an elvish king, so frankly it doesn't matter.

Gil-Galad's will, which states that Elrond inherits the crown, was clearly forged. I will not explain how. Trust me on this one.

C'mon guys he's not even technically an elf. Yes Melian was a queen over elves without being an elf. Yes Dior was a half-elf elf king. I don't see what that has to do with anything.

Do we really need a king?? Apparently some edain are experimenting with a new system called "democracy" and fraknly that sounds a lot better and cooler than having another king.

We'd have to get the crown resized again and that would be a lot of work.

He wears his hair partially down. In public. If that's not scandalous I don't konw what is.

I know his followers keep talking about how great of a leader he is, but they're mostly Feanorians, so clearly that doesn't count.

Galadriel. Is. Right. There.

He probably doesn't even speak Quenya. Don't ask anyone at court to confirm this.

He's very busy revolutionizing the field of medicine in Rivendell right now, please leave me him alone.

Clearly he doesn't wear enough jewelry to be a proper Noldor king.

Sometimes I forget that most Aftg fans are adults and not absolute losers

Listen, I understand the whole Figwit phenomenon but my question as someone who joined the fandom relatively late is this: did you guys have the same energy for this guy at Aragorn’s Coronation? Or did everyone, like me, just assume this was proto-Glorfindel?

I think of this guy like. Once a day. He is my Roman Empire. Who is he meant to be? Why does he look like the Giga-chad meme? Is it meant to be Glorfindel? Because only if he is Glorfindel would the amount of sheer fucking BALLS this guy has make sense. Why balls?

Imagine you are at an event where your liege lord is publicly losing his daughter. A loss he has, in this filmic universe, spent years moping about and sulking over. And what’s more, at said event you’re standing close enough to him that your assholes are roommates. He’s basically turning fifty shades of elf-colour, sweating, shaking, throwing up, screaming and crying, a manifestation of the clenched fist Arthur meme and you’re standing close enough to smell the tears. And you just stand there looking like a smug little fucker for no reason whatsoever.

Like look at the man. The balls he must have. If Elrond turned around it would have been game fucking over. He would have been Celebrim-wedding-bannered in two seconds. His hair mismatches his brows so badly that I even think he may have dyed them on purpose to match Elrond for peak trolling levels. This is Glorfindel to me. I don’t care who he’s meant to be. He is Glorfindel. Nobody aside from the reincarnation of the guy who saved your dad’s toddler ass from a Balrog would ever get away with standing at what to you is your daughter’s advance state funeral and just grinning away like: