CATE BLANCHETT as Lady Galadriel in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) | dir. Peter Jackson
More things that get left out of Dracula adaptations
Van Helsing pulls 29 year old Dr Seward's ear like he's still a schoolboy
There's a relationship-establishment flashback between Van Helsing and Seward
In it, Van Helsing accidentally gets cut with something unclean. His then-student Seward immediately drops everything to start sucking on the wound raw
At one point, Seward asks to become his "pet student again."
Dracula has a big, permanent scar on his forehead from Jonathan Harker's shovel
Arthur Holmwood saying "Tally ho!"
Transylvanians conclude that the delirious, amnesiac Jonathan Harker is English due to "his violent demeanour."
Despite attempts to keep low profile, Dracula gets into the news twice in two months (in one of them as a missing dog)
Dracula getting misreported as a dog because English people have never seen a wolf
London newspapers treat Lucy's vampire attacks on children as a meme among kids because they don't believe in vampires
Dracula gets sworn at by a British sailor solely because he thinks Dracula is French
Van Helsing is baffled why British sailors keep talking about blood and bloom (it's swearing)
Van Helsing is friends with real life turkologist traveller Arminius Vámbéry, who is his main source on the Dracula family
Van Helsing is friends with Hans Christian Andersen and references The Ugly Duckling
Van Helsing getting one-upped by Mina every single time he says something sexist about her intelligence
Dracula failing to destroy the evidence against him because Mina backs up her files
Mina and Jonathan kissing on the mouth in front of everybody
Quincey Morris spontaneously gifting Mina the Victorian equivalent of a MacBook Air
Actually, I would give pretty much anything for a book accurate adaption of bram stokers Dracula
The world needs to know how down bad Mina and Jonathan were for eachother
I have a hilarious year of the trees take: Maedhros and Fingon are together (romantically) and Celegorm and Aredhel are completely platonic, but everyone thinks it's the other way around (namely Feanor and Fingolfin)
Like Celegorm is getting CONSTANTLY lectured by his dad and all of society for his relationship with Aredhel, whereas Maedhros is off fucking Fingon by a waterfall somewhere and everyone's like "Oh theyre such good friends :)"
Celegorm would be PISSED. He just wants to go camping with his homegirl (and for her to join the hunters of Orome) but all the parents are trying to tear them apart cause they think they're fucking. Whereas Maedhros and Fingon are giggling together at court, writing each other the sappiest love poems, and dance together at every social gathering and no one suspects a THING.
Bonus points if all of the cousins are in on it, and none of the Feanor/Fingolfin/Finarfin generation ever figures it out.
A List of Very Convincing Reasons why Elrond Peredhel Cannot become Noldor High King after Gil-Galad, written by Dnorle Lehderep
He's like Finwe's great great great grandson; that's clearly too many generations away.
Also he's technically a Feanorian and they're like, super cursed and also dispossessed so maybe he shouldn't be in the line of succession.
No one can agree on whether his claim comes from the Nolofinwean or Feanorian lines. Clearly the best solution to this is for him to not be king.
Galadriel is right there.
He turns into a bird sometimes and everyone knows that birds can't be elf-kings that would be silly.
Yes, he does have one of the three rings "for elvish kings" but Cirdan also has one of those, and he's not an elvish king, so frankly it doesn't matter.
Gil-Galad's will, which states that Elrond inherits the crown, was clearly forged. I will not explain how. Trust me on this one.
C'mon guys he's not even technically an elf. Yes Melian was a queen over elves without being an elf. Yes Dior was a half-elf elf king. I don't see what that has to do with anything.
Do we really need a king?? Apparently some edain are experimenting with a new system called "democracy" and fraknly that sounds a lot better and cooler than having another king.
We'd have to get the crown resized again and that would be a lot of work.
He wears his hair partially down. In public. If that's not scandalous I don't konw what is.
I know his followers keep talking about how great of a leader he is, but they're mostly Feanorians, so clearly that doesn't count.
Galadriel. Is. Right. There.
He probably doesn't even speak Quenya. Don't ask anyone at court to confirm this.
He's very busy revolutionizing the field of medicine in Rivendell right now, please leave me him alone.
Clearly he doesn't wear enough jewelry to be a proper Noldor king.
he/she/they | pakeha kiwi | Tolkien nerd + misc fandoms
70 posts