Happy March Of Maedhros To Those Who Celebrate

I think venus flytraps should be intelligent and ambulatory. I think they should get into the cupboards. I think they should purr when you pet them.

ya pero~...

I have a hilarious year of the trees take: Maedhros and Fingon are together (romantically) and Celegorm and Aredhel are completely platonic, but everyone thinks it's the other way around (namely Feanor and Fingolfin)

Like Celegorm is getting CONSTANTLY lectured by his dad and all of society for his relationship with Aredhel, whereas Maedhros is off fucking Fingon by a waterfall somewhere and everyone's like "Oh theyre such good friends :)"

Celegorm would be PISSED. He just wants to go camping with his homegirl (and for her to join the hunters of Orome) but all the parents are trying to tear them apart cause they think they're fucking. Whereas Maedhros and Fingon are giggling together at court, writing each other the sappiest love poems, and dance together at every social gathering and no one suspects a THING.

Bonus points if all of the cousins are in on it, and none of the Feanor/Fingolfin/Finarfin generation ever figures it out.

on wednesdays we wear pink

@sauron-facts

This is now my new favorite best friend duo

nothing. NOTHING. prepares you for neil fucking josten. the monsters take him to columbia bc andrew doesn't trust him and all his secrets and lies. they drug neil against his will to make him talk and his solution is to tip a busboy 100 dollars in cash to knock him out. at this point he's blackout high as all hell and the most he's given away were several creative death threats. he wakes up in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar house and his immediate first response is violence. he throws an alarm clock and an empty water glass at aaron. the second he's presented with the opportunity to escape, he wiggles out the window of a bathroom. "desperation is a valuable lubricant". he calls matt and casually doesn't mention the fact that he's stranded with no way back to palmetto other than walking. instead, he hitchhikes all the way back. he comes up with a list of convincing enough interview questions to pass as a sociology student and hitch a ride with truck drivers. he SUCCESSFULLY does this and spends the entire time asking and answering questions he makes up on the spot and taking notes to make it look legit. he does all of this while hungover. no one knows where he is during this entire trip back. he could have asked to be picked up at literally any moment and matt or wymack would've done it in a heartbeat. he genuinely did not consider this as a viable option. truly the character of all time i love him so much.

The real reason Maglor (probably) never showed up in Rivendell was because he knew about the Tra-La-La-Lally song and was super embarrassed about ever having known Elrond

watching the Moria scene in the fellowship

Y'know what, why not start the story at the beginning. So Eru Illuvatar-

jonathan harker's arc is about him accepting that he is actually into being dominated by an evil vampire as long as that evil vampire is the woman he loves. mina murray harker's arc is about her accepting that she has a right to take up space and speak her mind instead of bowing to social norms. lucy westenra's arc is about how the polyamory didn't change anything, it didn't save anyone, but it still matters that the polyamory was there. arthur holmwood's arc is about learning to cope with a sudden massive tragedy by opening himself up to others and strengthening his social bonds. quincy p morris's arc is about being hot and owning guns. abraham van helsing's arc is about not getting complacent in the idea that he has an open mind and accepting that he might make wrong calls based on his biases. jack seward's arc is about rebounding from life altering heartbreak by getting back in contact with his old favorite professor from med school who he sucked off one time. count dracula's arc is about fumbling a series of bad bitches so hard that he flees the country and dies.

My favourite thing about The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe is that CS Lewis very obviously knew that kids were going to go hunting in cupboards and wardrobes for Narnia because multiple times he very clearly states that the kids did not close the door behind them when they climbed in the wardrobe because that would be stupid and dangerous. He knew some kid was going to lock themselves in the closet and he obviously didn’t want to be responsible for that.