House Md Is Such A Trip Because House And Wilson Are Standing Cock To Cock, Tip To Tip, Packer To Packer,

what I want: Bruce and Stephanie in very odd situations that lead to bonding.

what I get: not that

what I really want: an event culminating with Stephanie shouting “I will fucking rUIN YOU, BITCH” and Bruce holding her back because she’s drunk and he’s wondering how he got here with his (not) daughter

what I really get: staring at a blank page because I can’t write

i’ve had a realization and i’m sure it’s been done before but-

millennial depression:

vs

gen z depression:

And a Happy New Year

Clark: [Walks into Wayne manor with his family] Hello everyone! Merry chr-

Bruce: [marching to and fro like a drill sergeant in front of Tim, Steph and Jason, looking furious]

Clark: -istmas?

Bruce: [menacing] which one of you did it?

Tim, Steph and Jason: [looking bored] ...

Bruce: I know it was one of you. Which. One.

Jason: You 'know' it was one of us? That sounds a little presumptuous.

Steph: Yeah. I came here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.

Bruce: Of course it was one of you three!

Jason: [gasps] Oh my god. Bias.

Tim: This is sexist.

Bruce: what?

Steph: We're being victimized. [flips her hair] I feel unsafe.

Bruce: [stops in front of Tim] Tim. You're the sensible one. Who was it?

Tim: [dramatically] You accuse us of wrongdoing yet you lack even the slightest hint of evidence. For shame.

Jason: Shoddy detective work is what it is.

Steph: What would Gordon say?

Jason: You know. It really breaks my heart that you would just ASSUME that one of us did it. Really shows who you trust, huh, batman? God forbid you'd interrogate DICK.

Bruce: assu- ASSUME? In this family there are THREE people who would EVER even THINK to tie someone up, cover them in glitter and put them on top of the christmas tree. [points viciously at the slightly worse-for-wear pinetree] AND IT'S YOU

Steph: [studying her nails] sounds like sexism to me

Tim: [arms crossed] circumstantial at best

Jason: [grinning] got any FACTS to corroborate that accusation B?

Bruce: I-

Damian: [from the doorway; his clothes, hair and skin covered in glitter] It was Todd and Brown. Though I do not doubt that Drake assisted in planning it.

Tim, Steph and Jason: ...

Jason: OBJECTION

Clark: ...

Kon: [trying to stifle his laughter]

Lois: [to Clark] We're not having any more children. Two is enough.

The Reluctant Victor, inspired by The Reluctant Bride by Auguste Toulmouche - I just thought that this painting was SO perfect for Katniss and I had to draw it!

stuff that happened in the past decade

draco malfoy being draco malfoy

“if you’re going to get in trouble for hitting someone, might as well hit them hard.”

“he’s got a stick so far up his arse you can see it when he yawns.”

“explain, and do it carefully or you might find yourself being throttled to death.”

“i always have a note in my pocket saying ‘harry did it’ just in case i get murdered because i don’t want him to remarry.”

“i’m a demanding lover, potter. i require care and attention 24/7.”

“THAT’S THE PROBLEM, PANSY. MY EMOTIONAL BARRIERS ARE DOWN, AND I’D LIKE THEM BACK UP THANK YOU VERY MUCH.”

“i would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

“i could devour a whole bowl of alphabet soup and spit out a better statement than that.”

“my moral compass is a fucking roulette wheel, thank you.”

“harry, love, do these trousers make my arse look big?”

“i want to see things from your point of view, but i can’t get my head that far up my arse.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T WEAR THESE TO WORK? I LOOK FUCKING BEAUTIFUL IN IT!”

“sorry, pans, i’m busy today. i have a mental breakdown scheduled at five.”

“it’s pointless to make fun of you ‘cause it would take the rest of the fucking day for you to figure it out.”

“i totally have a bigger arse than you do.”

“pansy, hold my earrings for me. i have a bitch’s body to hide.”

“a single walk in the woods for me is so relaxing. the fact that i’m dragging a dead body should be irrelevant.”

“get out, blaise. potter and i are going to have sex.”

“did you just say my fucking hair is bleached? honey, do you think bleach would ever produce such fine and silver blond hair like this? yes, that’s right, back away bitch.”

“harryyyy i neeeeed atteeentiooon”

“i love you too. what? no. i said you smell like a shoe. idiot.”

“whoa, it smells like bitch in here.”

“I DO NOT NEED READING GLASSES! MY VISION IS PERFECTLY FINE, THANK YOU.”

“wanna check out my peacock army at home?”

“pff, what makes you think i sleep with a stuffed lion? that’s a lie. you … you have a picture? can i … can i see?”

“i like being organised but i’M TOO LAZY TO BE ORGANISED”

“ME? BECOME A POTTER? I DON’T … actually, draco potter doesn’t sound too bad. where are the marriage papers?”

“please, i’m too classy to top. have you seen me? i have an aristocratic face, and this phenomenal arse. power bottom it is.”

“sweat? me, sweat? i don’t sweat. it’s disgusting, so i don’t do it.”

“i am the prince of destruction, death and … yeah, i’m a cuddler.”

“i do not blush. that is undignified and—POTTER AND I WEREN’T SPOONING!”

“if you win this match, potter, you can do whatever you want to me. are you daft? yes, i said whatever you … what? you want me to spend a night with you?”

“to be fair, professor, i’m not the one who decided to maul my own neck with hickeys. blame potter.”

“YES PANSY SHUT UP I HAD A CRUSH ON VIKTOR FUCKING KRUM ONCE BUT THAT WAS ONE TIME!”

“harry! harry! HARRY! do i look pretty?”

“pans, i need you to tell me your embarrassing sex stories so i can forget last night when harry stared at me and i waved.”

“FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, I DO NOT NEED READING GLASSES!”

collection of posts for a very specific dynamic

Clark: So what do all of your sidekicks bring to the table

Bruce:?

Hal: Yeah, what is all their specialties? Something tells me you dont keep them around for the comapny.

Bruce: Well Nightwing is the worlds best acrobat. Oracle is one of the worlds best hackers. Red Hood is a marksman. Red Robin is the world's second best detective, while Orphan is one of the worlds best trained fighters. Robin is my biological son so theres not really a choice there anyway. Does that suffice Jordan?

Hal: What about the other one?

Bruce: Signal is on daytime patrol, so he was preoccupied.

Hal: No the other other one

Bruce: My gay, army trained cousin?

Clark: I think he means the purple one raiding our breakfast buffet

Bruce: Oh

Bruce: She's moral support

Hunger Games didn’t really eat holes in my brain the way that it did for some other people but god the opening lines. The opening lines. Katniss wakes up in bed and immediately, instinctively reaches beside her, only to find the bed empty and cold. Before we even know her name – before we know literally anything about her or this world or her place in that world – we know that she loves someone. We know that she is reaching for where Prim should be, sleeping safe and warm beside her, but Prim is not there. She is not there, and her half of the bed is cold and empty. People talk about characters being “doomed by the narrative” when most of the time the character was literally just a well-foreshadowed death, but Prim WAS doomed by the narrative. It’s the very first thing we learned. It’s the most key, integral, important piece of information we’re given about everything that is about to happen: Every single choice Katniss makes is to protect her little sister, and it isn’t enough. In the end, Prim still dies. Prim was dead before the story even started. Katniss, reaching. Prim’s side of the bed was cold and empty. There is no version of this story where Prim could have been saved. Katniss, reaching. The very first thing she does in the series. She wakes, and she reaches, but Prim is already gone. THAT is how you do Doomed By The Narrative. Edit: Also it is key that there was literally nothing Katniss could have done differently. If she had not acted to save Prim, Prim would not have survived the Hunger Games. But by acting to save Prim, Katniss accidentally kicked off an entire rebellion and ultimately massively increased the amount of danger Prim was actually in. The key is that this is irrelevant. If Katniss had done literally anything differently, Prim still would have died. If Katniss had faltered or changed course at any point, Prim still would have died. There was never a point where Katniss could have changed Prim’s fate. There’s no version of this story where Prim lives to see the end of it. She’s dead before the story begins. That’s doomed by the narrative.

A clone made documentary about why Jedi are like cats with video proof (always awake and knocking shit over at 3am, sleep in piles, do long blinks and turn their backs to people they trust, will happily sit in the same room without acknowledging you and consider it quality time, little chaos monsters, can eat a whole bantha, love bread) and a Jedi just quietly responds with their own documentary about how that also describes clones To A T, and the galaxy just imploded with the footage of clones and Jedi in sleep piles and being assholes to each other and it’s great it’s honestly great.

‘Jedi, much like cats, have a parental instinct for raising children, but then when the time comes for them to go their separate ways, they do so with a fake stoic grace that is all 100% bullshit because they can’t keep out they children’s lives for more than ten seconds without wondering if they’re okay these dumbass little hypocritical-‘

*an entire photoset of clones in sleep piles in various places on ships and campaigns*