What I Want: Bruce And Stephanie In Very Odd Situations That Lead To Bonding.

Ahsoka *in the council room*: …So why are we here?

Mace Windu: I need to ask you - both of you - a favor.

Anakin: What? You need someone hurt?

Mace: No-

Anakin: Do you need someone to disappear? Because I can-

Mace: NO!

My SVSSS Designs Masterpost

Opening my SVSSS design post because this shit is about to get long so I need to start now

BITCH ONE!! MQF!! a little guy

collection of posts for a very specific dynamic

Epilogue

[Shot of Anakin, traipsing down the Temple hallways, wearing a flower crown and humming to himself]  Obi-Wan: [being interviewed mockumentary-style] Yes, fortunately, I was able to convince Anakin to talk with me about his feelings and fears, and we were able to uncover the secret of the mysterious Sith Lord just in time, and destroy him. [Anakin, in the background, spinning with his arms in the air] …and now Anakin sort of can’t stop sharing his feelings. [awkward smile] Mace: [being interviewed] We really dodged a blaster bolt there. If the Chancellor had been able to turn Anakin to the Dark Side, and dismantle the Republic? Chaos. [shakes head] We owe Skywalker an enormous debt of gratitude. [sighs] So we’re…just going to have to deal with…this.  Padme: [forcing a smile] Oh it’s been wonderful, being able to be more open about Anakin with everyone. And Ani, he’s…he’s just so…showy! The other day he sent a string quartet to my office. [obvious stifling mild irritation] While I was on a very important holo-call.  Anakin: [approaching Mace] Good morning, Master Windu. [placing his hands on his shoulders] I just wanted you to know that you are wise, and powerful, and I admire you immensely. [embraces him]  Mace: [grimacing] Skywalker, I’m very proud of you, but if you hug me again today, I am going to have to kill you.  Anakin: [smiling serenely] Of course. May the Force be with you. [sticks a daisy behind Mace’s ear] [scoops Yoda up off the floor and carries him off on his back]  Shaak Ti: [to the camera] Skywalker is…well he’s very…kind. He painted this for me. [holds up an amazing oil painting of Shaak Ti fighting battle droids] This is the 15th one of these he’s made for me. It’s…a lot. We’re all extremely happy for him, and grateful of course. But we’re glad we can still foist him off on Master Kenobi a lot of the time.  Obi-Wan: [to the camera] Yes, Anakin is truly full of light and happiness now that there is balance in the Force. And he wants to tell us all about it. All the time. And after the war ended, he and I, you know, we finally sat down and had a very open discussion about our relationship. Then we didn’t leave our quarters for about three and a half weeks. [clears his throat]  Anakin: [sitting next to him, petting his hair] You are a luminous presence in the Force, you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, and every time I look at your face I feel like I might die.  Obi-Wan: [still looking at the camera, quietly] …thank you, Anakin.   Ahsoka: [to the camera] Well, once things got back to normal on Coruscant I stopped by the Temple to see how everyone was doing. You know, I may not be a Jedi anymore but obviously I still care about them. I asked if there was anything I could do. [flatly] They made it very clear they’d appreciate some help with Master Skywalker.  Anakin: [charging at her and lifting her into the air] Snips! [sets her down] You are bold, and brave, and I’m so proud of you that I can’t…I can’t… Ahsoka: OK, that’s not – Anakin: [bawling] I just love you all so much. I feel like my soul is going explode.  Ahsoka: [hugging him and patting his back] OK…you’re…it’s OK. [looks at the camera helplessly] 

Hover Notes or ‘Floating Boxes’in Ao3

This is a fun option if you use, for example, phrases in other languages in your story. I often do, and this is a nice way to give translations without having to scroll to the end of the text, or putting them in the starting notes where people have to keep checking back – or where they spoiler the story!

HOWEVER. The drawback is that the floating boxes only work when a ‘mouse’ is ‘hovered’ over the marked text. They do NOT show up on tablet or phone screens, so you’ll still need to put a list of translations in the notes for readers using those devices.

Let’s have an example. 

“Qu’est ce que tu veux?”

Now if you speak French, you might know that means “What do you want?”

But not all of your readers will know that. So, you offer them a translation. And since the boxes don’t appear unless you hover directly above them, I usually add a Beginning Note to the chapter that reads something like this;

‘Hover over italicised foreign language text for translations! (Mobile and tablet users please see the Ending Notes)’

In HTML mode in Ao3, (if you try this in Rich Text mode you will get a horrible mess so don’t) the line with this example would appear as:

<p>“<em>Qu’est ce que tu veux?</em>”</p>

To add the floating box with the translation, you would select the words to be translated (that is, Qu’est ce que tu veux?) and paste in the following HTML.

<span title=“What do you want?”>Qu’est ce que tu veux?</span>

The whole line will now read:

<p>“<em> <span title=“What do you want?”>Qu’est ce que tu veux?</span> </em>”</p>

Review your work, hover over the part that requires translating, and you should see the following:

And you’re done!

I tend to set up a Word doc with all the <span> lines I want to use created in it, and then when the time comes, just copy/paste them into Ao3. Saves lots of time!

Ok but… in 2018 you KNOW forks high would have a meme page and all the cliques would have running jokes in their group chats… 28139 of the memes would be about the Cullens and how fucking weird they are… someone would be like “I saw Rosalie hale take a bite of an apple today” and another person would be like #soundsfakebutok, people would constantly be making jokes about Cullen family incest, there would be a running gag of What Diet Are The Cullens On This Week, people coming up with increasingly wild theories about what they do on their “camping trips”, sneaking picture of them making bizarre expressions and captioning them with shit like “tfw ur a genius supermodel but u got (5) raindrops on ur shirt&ruined ur aesthetic so now u want to die”, creating Cullen bingo cards with stuff like “growling during class” “magically knowing the right answer even when they weren’t paying attention” “not blinking for 5 minutes straight” “looking like they want to murder everyone for no reason at all” etc etc etc

Just imagine the Cullens being half cryptid, half meme at forks high

Rex: When I first met Anakin, I thought to myself, ‘when the war is over, he’s the Order’s problem again’.

Cody: Oh? What happened then?

Rex: *holding back tears* I don’t know! Sometimes I wake up and he’s going through my fridge and asking why I don’t keep his brand of ‘Padme approved’ organic gummy snacks around and I have to tell him it’s because he doesn’t live here and also Ahsoka ate them all and he’s all ‘the babies are very chatty rn and they repeat everything they hear and I said fuck last week so now I’m avoiding home cause as soon as Padme looks at me she’s gonna know where they learned that word’ and then Ahsoka, who I didn’t even know was THERE, pops up from the couch all ‘I thought I taught them that one!’ And I’m standing there in my sweat pants and wondering why I have to deal with this and then they look at me with these big ol’ dumb puppy eyes and I melt every time, I stg I can’t get rid of them help me!

Cody: …*gently pats Rex’s back* Bro… the only way to stop this… is to just move in with them. See, Obi-Wan can’t pull this shit on me, because I expect him to be there.

Rex: That’s different, you and Obi-Wan are Jedi married.

Cody: Hmm, if you think I knew we were dating before last week, then you’re sorely mistaken. I thought he was just a really clingy roommate I liked to fuck sometimes.

Rex: …how did this flip so you’re the disaster so fast and not me?

Cody: *shrugs* I just assume you come to me to feel better about yourself because you’re not /that/ bad compared to me.

okay this took me so long but i think it was worth it

Okay, so like, instead of that incredibly OOC for everyone involved piece of shit Battle for the Cowl storyline, what SHOULD have happened in my EXPERT opinion is they all start fighting for it, whatever, fine, but then Dick is like, fuck it, who even cares, let’s just all be Batman. Except for Damian, because you’re short and wee so you’re stuck with Robin, sorry kiddo.

To which Damian, naturally, would snarl: How DARE you, Grayson, I AM THE blah blah blah, but then everyone points out that the Robin costumes are literally the only ones that fit him and its not like he knows how to sew, and he’s welcome to TRY threatening/blackmailing/bribing Alfred into making him a pint-sized Batman costume, but like……lol. Yeah. Sure.

And so Dick AND Jason AND Tim AND Cass because she exists, fuck you BftC, are ALL Batman. Yes, even Cass. Jason’s all, shouldn’t you call yourself Batwoman? And Cass just stares at him, dead-eye, and says I don’t want to. And I mean, nobody’s dumb enough to argue with Cass so its like alright, there are four Batmen now. Batmans? Whatever.

And it just confuses the ever loving FUCK out of the Gotham underworld and Rogues, because you’ve got a laughing Batman who freaking PUNS and a trigger-happy shooting Batman and a short Batman who talks and acts just like the real deal except WHY IS HE SO SHORT and a freakily silent Batman who just fucking APPEARS right next to your elbow more quiet and creepily than even the original one ever managed and two seconds later you’re down for the count and you don’t even know what the fuck just happened.

And in the dark, with them all dressed alike, crouching at just the right angles that its almost impossible to tell at a first glance how tall or built they each are, these four Batmen are just freaking EVERYWHERE and you run into one and its like gdi I’m so fucked but I gotta wait til they stand up or say something to figure out just HOW fucked I am cuz like, please let it be any of them but the Batman with guns and then its the freakily silent Batman and you’re like WAIT OH FUCK I CHANGED MY MIND GIMME THE SHOOTY BATMAN I WANT THE SHOOTY BATMAN!

And also, the only thing that’s ever really successfully bonded the Batkids in the past is the opportunity to fuck with people, so eventually, sometimes they start mixing it up and imitating each other’s styles just to REALLY mess with peoples’ heads, with Jason randomly cracking puns so they’re like oh phew, its the laughing Batman, and then Jason’s like LMFAO NOPE and whips out a grenade. And Dick actually CAN be quiet when he wants to, so he pretends to be the freakily silent Batman and just fucking APPEARS in a warehouse full of gunrunners and whispers “Boo” and then he just laughs his ass off when they all run screaming out the door, where Stabby Robin is waiting with his katana. 

And on and on it goes until nobody knows up from down or left from right and you’ve got guys just laying down their weapons and sobbing I give up, like just at the SIGHT of any of them, because they’re so fucking confused and they’re like, maybe I can at least spare myself the headache of trying to figure out who the hell I’m even dealing with this time, look, I’m fucked no matter what anyway so what’s even the point.

And then finally Bruce comes back ‘from the dead’ or whatever that was, I stopped paying attention, something something time travel bat god Darkseid omega energy blah blah who cares.

And he’s figuring Dick has been Batman while he’s gone so he starts trying to get all caught up based off that assumption and THAT goes off the fucking rails pretty damn quick, and eventually he’s just scrolling through files on the Batcomputer like….wut?

And that’s when the kids all roar back in from patrol on and in their varying Bat-vehicles, to the sight of their supposedly dead father, and they’re all like….wut?

And Bruce stares at four different Batman and a four foot Robin who’s basically 75% ominous scowl and 25% bladed weaponry, and he’s like….wut?

And then Alfred comes down the stairs into the Batcave and stops and stares and is like, oh, my word. Y’know, all British-ish and stuff.

And then there are five Batmen.

It does not get less confusing for Gotham after that.