Albaparthenicevelut replied To Your post: You Know, Having Read Master And Apprentice Now, I…

Gotham villains: yeah I was traumatized so now I'm evil

The batfam, have more trauma in their pinky finger than they've experienced in their entire lives, largely due to being heroes and are still heroes: :/

About death

Ok but… in 2018 you KNOW forks high would have a meme page and all the cliques would have running jokes in their group chats… 28139 of the memes would be about the Cullens and how fucking weird they are… someone would be like “I saw Rosalie hale take a bite of an apple today” and another person would be like #soundsfakebutok, people would constantly be making jokes about Cullen family incest, there would be a running gag of What Diet Are The Cullens On This Week, people coming up with increasingly wild theories about what they do on their “camping trips”, sneaking picture of them making bizarre expressions and captioning them with shit like “tfw ur a genius supermodel but u got (5) raindrops on ur shirt&ruined ur aesthetic so now u want to die”, creating Cullen bingo cards with stuff like “growling during class” “magically knowing the right answer even when they weren’t paying attention” “not blinking for 5 minutes straight” “looking like they want to murder everyone for no reason at all” etc etc etc

Just imagine the Cullens being half cryptid, half meme at forks high

It Was All Obi-Wan’s Fault

Padme: …maybe Obi-Wan could help us.  Anakin: [wincing] Nah, I can’t…can’t talk to Obi-Wan about this. Or anything. Ever.  Padme: Why not? He cares about you; have you tried asking him if he – Anakin: Look, I’m telling you, I can’t talk to Obi-Wan! I have tried! But every time I try, he’s all…him about it, and it never works.  Padme: [nodding knowingly] Why, because he’s all [pompously] “No Ahhhhnnakin, I’m a Jedi and we don’t talk about this stuff…” Anakin: What? No, no, it’s not like that at all! I just…can’t. It’s not possible.  Padme: Ani, I don’t understand.  Anakin: Well…

[smash cut to Anakin and Obi-Wan’s quarters] Anakin: [seriously] Obi-Wan, I need to talk to you about something.  Obi-Wan: [sitting down right next to him, making intense eye contact] Of course, Anakin, what’s the matter? Anakin: [flustered] …I gotta go. 

[smash cut to Anakin, sitting in a ship next to Obi-Wan]  Anakin: Master, I have something that I need to tell you.  Obi-Wan: [trying to fix something on the ship, leaning over Anakin and pressing up against him repeatedly] Certainly Anakin…just…give me one second…I need to just adjust this…oh blast, hang on, I’m getting grease all over my tunic, I’m just going to remove it. There. [settling back into his seat, shirtless and sweaty] All right. What did you want to talk to me about? Anakin: [dying] No…nothing. I…let’s just go. On. The mission. 

[smash cut to Anakin, nervously biting his nails at the kitchen table]  Anakin: [gathering up the nerve] …Master? I really need to talk to you about something! It’s important! Obi-Wan: [strutting in from the refresher, wearing nothing but a towel] [taking Anakin’s hand] You know you can talk to me about anything, Anakin. Whatever is the matter? Anakin: [squeaks] 

Padme: [nodding] …I see.  Anakin: It’s horrible! He’s the worst! 

“This is the house that built me and I’m gonna burn it down.”

Courtney Love Prays to Oregon, Clementine von Radics

Anakin finds out that Mace and Qui-Gon used to be a Thing and immediately begins trying to get them back together. He ropes Obi-Wan into it, and Yoda, because “Who would know Master Mace better than his old master? Speaking of which, let’s get Master Jinn’s old master too!” And thus, Dooku doesn’t fall, because he’s too busy matchmaking

Dooku’s going to SWEAR he wants no part of this ridiculousness at first, because he is a Serious Jedi and also he lowkey hates Anakin so he’s not inclined to help him with anything, but we all know no Jedi worth his salt can resist the lure of Drama. Also he hates to admit it, but Qui-Gon and Mace did make a not…terrible couple once upon a time. If you care about that sort of nonsense. Which he definitely Does Not, oh no, not him. He totally doesn’t even read the group texts where Anakin updates everyone on how their latest ploy to get Mace and Qui-Gon sent to the outer rim or locked in a storage closet together worked out. (He absolutely does.)

I feel like Yoda finds all of this hilarious. Obi-Wan finds it all kind of embarrassing, but A) Anakin is Very Invested, because of course he is (a tragic love story! just like his soaps! THEY HAVE TO GET BACK TOGETHER THEY JUST HAVE TO OBI-WAN WE NEED TO SHOW THEM THAT TRUE LOVE IS REAL), and so Obi-Wan will participate to make Anakin happy because he is hopeless, and B) I have to believe at least some part of Obi-Wan is going to enjoy driving Qui-Gon and Mace insane during this process.

comedians: it's so difficult to be funny nowadays without sjws getting offended

robert pattinson, without an inch of effort:

In honor of season 7, here’s this (based off of this)

*narrator voice* they were not fine

Captain Jack: I wasn’t going to mention it. But you look like her.

13th Doctor: I know. Sometimes when I catch my reflection, it takes my breath away.

Captain Jack: Even after all this time? She’s still in your heart.

13th Doctor: *smiles* I carry a lot of people in my heart Jack, and there will always been room for more. You understand.

Captain Jack: Yeah, I do. You carry them with you.

13th Doctor: Always.