Dark!little Big Three

About death

okay i know Hardeen was a Terrible arc for everyone involved, but what if Obi Wan had told Anakin about faking his death? Anakin’s like no worries dude I Got This, except he really. does not,,

the only reason his “acting” is remotely believable is because almost no one has seen him like this before, so it must be due to all the grief and loss and heartbreak and anger and whatnot

he starts by sobbing over Obi Wan’s supposedly dead body for a solid two hours when Obi gets shot down. “LOOK at him, so cold and Lifeless. D: HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE WARM AND FULL OF LIFE, SNIPS. I know last week I checked his pulse because he was meditating so calmly I thought he passed away in his sleep, BUT HE’S USUALLY SO WARM AND FULL OF LIFE.”

It goes on until Anakin has finished everything on his painstakingly written Outline from last night. At least half of Coruscant hears part of this speech. Mace sends Obi the security footage later, at a time he knows Anakin will be there to sit through it with Obi, because if we had to suffer then you do too, Obi Wan. 

then at the funeral, Anakin pulls out a twenty foot scroll of real actual paper, because he would appreciate this, I think, and clears his throat loudly and messily before telling the council that he has prepared a few words for the greatest jedi this order, nay, this GALAXY has ever seen, and will ever see, no matter how long any of us live—

five hours later,, he’s still going strong. half the eulogy is Terrible and V Cringeworthy, but the other half is actually v heartfelt and moving. even Mace and Yoda have to blink away some tears. 

it becomes easier after Anakin starts going into Unnecessary Details about obi wan’s life, like how he’ll miss holding onto those heavy 327 thread count woolen robes when he’s saving obi’s ass (curvature 48.5 degrees) for the 23094th time, and how he’ll never see a more sincere expression of Compassion than he saw when reading line 83 of Obi Wan’s eighth letter to Duchess Satine last month, quoted now as follows— 

Ahsoka enlists Plo Koon’s help and they finally shuffle him over to the side, promising him they can finish his fake eulogy at the council dinner tonight. Obi Wan’s death may be fake, but MY WORDS ARE REAL, SNIPS, HOW DARE YOU. says Anakin, before he (a little gleefully) starts destroying the walls to show how Emotionally Compromised he is over this 100% real death. 

he takes the 212th drinking, after having told all of them, too. so now there are 293637 men crying about Obi Wan (relatable af, y/y), all of which have the acting talent of a wilted blade of grass. there are 283747 toasts, and every single person there cries for each and every one of them, despite everyone knowing obi is still alive

since ive been home ive been rewatching teen wolf … its the funniest show ever made. during the 45 minute pilot there were 15 top 40 songs. incredible.

I am not less. I am more.

emerge anew

Rey: OK, time to go through all that stuff I stole out of that tree. [picking up a VHS tape] “Get to Know The Jedi Order”. Hmm. Seems as good a place to start as any.   [puts it into a tape player on the Falcon]  Mace Windu: [walking in the Room of a Thousand Fountains] Hi. I’m Mace Windu, Jedi Master. Thank you for your purchase of this informative holo cassette tape about the Jedi Order. We’re glad you’ve taken an interest in learning more about our unique way of life. Many people wonder what life in our Temple is like. We invite you [awkwardly gestures] to join me and find out for yourself.  [shot of the cafeteria]  Mace: [voiceover] We begin our day like many beings: with a morning meal. It isn’t easy to meet the dietary needs of so many different species! Ahsoka: [eating a giant raw steak with her bare hands]  Obi-Wan: [lost in thought, writing something on a datapad, surrounded by 15 empty cups of caf and drinking another one]  Mace: [standing in the dojo while Anakin and Obi-Wan spar] For many Jedi, meditation, yoga, or even combat practice might be a part of their morning. But don’t worry – training sabers ensure that no one gets hurt.  Anakin: [getting slapped in the ass with a training saber and giggling like an idiot] Ooh, that’s it! You’re mine! Mace: [looking uncomfortable, then forcing a smile] Yes, we have fun here. [Quinlan Vos and Jocasta Nu, standing in the Archives and animatedly arguing, unaware they’re on film] Mace: [voiceover] As perhaps the galaxy’s biggest family, camaraderie is a cornerstone of the Jedi Order. We often work together to help one another learn the ways of the Force, using materials from our famous Archives.  Jocasta: The sign clearly states no food or drink in the archives, Master Vos!  Quinlan: [mouth full, crumbs everywhere] I wasn’t eating anything!  Jocasta: I can see you chewing! [reaches forward and tries to pry his mouth open] I’ll have you banned for life! Mace: [blocking them from the camera] Heh. Yes, we also often learn by engaging in spirited debate with one another.  Shaak Ti: [off camera] We’ll cut this part later.  Mace: [nods at the camera] 

Mace: Our Order is fortunate to benefit from the wisdom of many Jedi elders. Master Yoda, our Grandmaster, is over 800 years old. Jedi often find solace in his gentle, tranquil presence and quiet dignity. Yoda: [in a room full of younglings, clearly teaching them how to launch themselves onto the ceiling] With more panache, young one! Sell the leap, you must!  [a small child goes ricocheting around the room]   Mace: [to someone off-camera] We should have rehearsed this more. 

Mace: [in the Senate building] Many Jedi regularly interact with our important partners in the Senate, helping politicians across the galaxy maintain peace in their worlds. [turning to Bail Organa] Like my friend here, Senator Organa of Alderaan.  Bail: [shaking his hand stiffly, over-rehearsed] Here’s to another great day of protecting democracy, Master Windu. [cheesy smile]  Palpatine: [behind them, smirking at the camera as he walks by]  

[exterior shot of the Temple at night]  Mace: [walking down a hallway] A Jedi’s life requires absolute mental focus and physical fitness. So, you’ll often find us turning in early after a productive day for a good night’s sleep. Our hallowed halls, bustling and noisy during the day, are silent as our Jedi rest up.  [Obi-Wan, inebriated, fumbling with his keys in the background] Obi-Wan: [exaggerated whisper] SHHHH AN’KIN. His, he’s, he’s doing the thing. The program. [snickering] Stop doing that. Anakin: [totally trashed, falling all over Obi-Wan] Who, who is? Who’s…what thing? [lowering his voice] You’ve got real nice hair…  Mace: [to the camera, hastily] I, I hope you’ve enjoyed this chance to learn more about the Jedi…Jedi Order. [shoving Obi-Wan and Anakin into their quarters] Thank you for joining me, and may the Force be with you. [forces a final smile] [breaking character] For kriff’s sake, can we have one normal damned day around here? Force! Well, we’re out of money so that’ll have to be good enough, I guess. Don’t leave this last part in there. 

[fade to black]  

[credits roll] 

Rey: [turning off the screen] …oh. 

are you ever on your phone looking at gay shit and then your parent starts coming towards you, so you keep scrolling down to try and get the gay shit off of your feed and then realise there is no escape and you’re actually scrolling through a bottomless pit of gay shit?

I know it’s pretty funny to joke that Steph forcibly inserted herself into the Batfamily and never left while the others are like ‘Steph you don’t even live here’ but in my opinion its absolutely the other way around.

From her history with Bruce and stuff there’s a part of Steph that holds all her insecurities and is just thinking, ‘I could be locked out of the bat cave at any minute’ no matter how illogical that is. So Steph is of the general mindset of ‘these are my trusted crime fighting allies who I care about very much but I’m not part of their family because I have a mom and it doesn’t matter anyway because all I really want is to help people and make sure less people become victims of crime’. She cares about them all more than anything but she wont let herself feel like she means too much to them.

Meanwhile the Batfamily are just like ‘that’s Steph our little ray of sunshine we love her and she’s 100 percent ours and we’re just waiting for Tim or Cass to marry her in so she’s legally a member of this family as well’.

Steph convincing herself she’s not a member of the bat family due to insecurities and the Bat family being like ‘exCUSE YOU! You are absolutely a member of this family!’   

Gosh dammit muffin! Now I can't get the idea of long haired andorogynous zuko out of my head, and I'm like "what if he'd never done the bald ponytail thing and just let his hair grow back, so by the show he had long ass hair" and then I was like "what if he joined the gaang after crossroads and figured that the best way to go incognito was as a woman since people were looking for the PRINCE. Anyway now i'm staring down a blank google doc so thx.

Yesss.

Crack AU where Anakin can all of a sudden hear the background music that we all hear. Those pleasant chats with Palpy become a lot more ominous. Though Anakin admits that the fights have become a lot more epic. Thoughts?

Hahahahaha. Love it!

And okay, my first though was “and the galaxy was saved because even Anakin Skywalker would struggle to keep trusting Palpatine with that music playing in the background”

Anakin think he’s gone COMPLETELY insane (maybe he’s finally been electrocuted too many times and its fried his brain). He doesn’t tell anyone though because he can still fight just fine just… everything is a lot more musical. He doesn’t want to be thought crazy and taken off the front lines.

Once he figures out what the various musical cues mean he actually finds them useful in figuring out how dangerous a situation is. Also battles are so much cooler now and boring landscapes are slightly less boring because at least now they have mood music. Yep, he can live with this.

(Although he is always confused why the ominousness that is The Imperial March starts playing at some of his decisions)