When I Was Younger My Mother Always Seemed Like The Strict One

I pretend to be complex and clever but in reality, nothing has ever made me laugh harder than those bad Chinese subtitles from the bootleg Lord of the Rings DVDs. Tears streaming down my face, core aching, slowly suffocating because I’m laughing too hard.

no one:

me, a pansexual: *sighs dreamily*

Different

“You’re…different. I’ve never met a girl like you.”

She stares at him, hands stilling over her sword. “What?”

“All the girls in my village are so boring,” he says. “So focused on finding husbands that they don’t bother learning about the world.”

“Girls in your village aren’t allowed to own property or vote,” she says, somewhat incredulous.

He winces at her tone. Need she be so harsh? “Well…it’s not like they’ve ever needed to, we’re a very progressive village and I always vote in favor of their needs. You’re not like that though, you fight for your rights yourself.”

“They are fighting for their rights,” she says. She sets down her sharpening stone, a frown stretching across her face. “No voting, no property, no wages of their own to purchase necessities. Besides finding a kind husband, what else do you think they can do to find a good future?”

“Th-they could leave,” he says. He did not expect the conversation to go this way. He expected her to blush like she had when he complimented her sword skills. He finds himself oddly defensive. “The men in my village aren’t slavers. The girls can leave any time.”

She snorts. “On foot? Your village is a hard, three day ride from the nearest city and that’s by horseback. And, even if they made it, what skills do they have? What references? The risk is too high for any woman to leave, that’s as good as trapping them. The fact that it takes me holding a sword for your opinion of women to change just shows how small-minded you are.”

 He bristles, unable to refute her. “Look, I was just trying to pay you a compliment! There’s no need to attack me.”

“Trust me,” she says, standing when he moves to loom over her. They’re of near equal height and, if he was trying to intimidate her, he fails. “You’ll know it when I’m attacking you. This isn’t it.”

He doesn’t seem to hear her, flustered to be seeing her eye-to-eye. “Furthermore, I think I’d know what sort of girls I grew up with! They’re timid and lack a desire to explore the world.”

“The world you created for them doesn’t take long to explore,” she says. Her sword is bare in her hand. “Marry or descend into poverty. Bear an heir or be cast into poverty. Behave or be thrown into poverty. I was there for a week and figured it out. But,” she continues, looking him up and down, “maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to judge. After all, you’ve lived there your whole life and you still haven’t figured it out.”

He splutters. “That’s not–there are other options–”

“When the revolution is done,” she says, coldly, “and your people are forced to give women rights, see how many stay and how many leave. See how many suddenly discover their wander-lust. See how many end up like me.”

She leaves him there and stalks off to the edge of camp. She leaves him there with his mouth opening and closing, and heart pounding in his chest.

She leaves him there with the unsettling realization that he doesn’t want the women in his village to end up being like her, so different and strong. Because, if they did, where would he be? Where would his home be?

It’s an upsetting realization to have, mid-revolution. No chance to back out now.

No harm to any religion. It’s just a lamp ads by an Australian company. However, it’s funny!

Let me get this straight because I’ve only seen memes and am piecing this together as i go, but i think i figured out what’s happening.

Tumblr is advertising the tumblr app, on the tumblr app, using a photo of a guy in a Pikachu cosplay, because that’s what they think it will take to successfully sell this app, to people whom already use it?

But now the ball shaving ad is gone? Or is that one still in the mix?

Tumblr Code.

The war to end all wars

The war to end all wars

will be loud

Snow full of ash

The war to end all wars

will be silent

Fog full of screams

The war to end all wars

will be tasteless

Rain full of salt

The war to end all wars

Will be blind

Head full of stars

The war to end all wars

Will be heavy

Plants full of blood

The war to end all wars

Will be light

Sky full of poison

The war to end all wars

Will be small

Skin full of scars

The war to end all wars

Will be big

Mind full of lies

Loki: I'm proud to identify as a moronsexual. I'm attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively.

Stephen: What's the Spanish word for tortillas?

Tony: Dunno, let me check on Google translate

Loki, already taking off his clothes: By the Norns, you're both so fucking stupid.

Of missing and remembering

Missing

They found this tree when they were just a child. They were alone in this whole world and just wanted a place to call home. They come here almost daily. To read and write and to do all the other bits of life. The tree had always been tall and big. When they were younger they could climb it and rest on one of it's branches to read. Now they sit on the ground, leaning against one of the two gravestones and rest in the trees shadow. Whenever they visited, they could feel a longing inside their chest. It was like they were missing something or someone that they couldn't quite remember. This feeling of missing always growing bigger with each visit. Until one day a boy sat under the tree sketching.

Remembering

When he saw them for the first time it was like a stone was lifted from his shoulders. It felt as if he could finally breath freely again. He didn't know what he felt in that moment but with time he began to realise what it was. Sitting with them under the tree, talking, reading and drawing together. A feeling of home flooded him and them as well. This time that the two of them spent together it felt like something he remembered. A memory deep within his soul. A memory of happiness and joy. He felt like remembering this time from a life before.

Once

Old they lay, their life a tale to tell, under the tree that was still so young. They planted it here many years ago after meeting for the first time and planed to make this their last resting place. The time had come for them to go into another beautiful story of their own. They both knew. And so he asked "Will you promise to remember me?" "I can only promise to miss you, my love." they replied. And they both did miss, each to their own.

Just because I like my body, doesn't mean I love myself