@blckfckinmsk [x]

why are you so damned sensitive⸻

⸻you just marinate⸻

damned sensitive⸻

⸻marinate

⸻

⸻

.....

"we are merely getting to know one another" distant, though through a haze, or muffled from underneath water. he blinks, but doesn't move. simply stands there, gaze looking a tad duller than it even did in his waking day to day. which was saying something, how detached he felt normally. "i.... i M SOROY- unkwo- somet-" he blinked, a hand moving to slam against the side of his own head, as if wanting to jostle himself out of whatever stupor or state he were in⸻ all it served to do was making that pounding in his head worse, but his hearing did come back to him somewhat.

lips. what had stone's lips said. he blinked, focusing on the movement he had just seen a few seconds ago. 'i am sorry' 'didn't mean to upset you'.

julius scoffs. gaze lowering away from stone. he shrugs briefly. "hardly something to get upset over." he could feel it, that churning sensation; like a rolling fire, stoking and trying to vault higher but he was pushing that down. no no no stop stop⸻

stone instinctively took a step back when he saw how quickly the man's demeanor had changed, though he knew ultimately if julius chose to attack him there wasn't really much that he could do. in a way he had been unknowingly provoking the man, it seemed, not that he had any real way of knowing.

whatever feeling of annoyance and boredom stone had previously felt was quickly replaced with dread, like his instincts were telling him to try and run and yet... he didn't. he just stood there, staring aimlessly at the man.

something was wrong, and stone was almost sure the man was currently experiencing some form of PTSD. he'd seen it firsthand during his time with G.U.N, and for a moment stone's expression softens before he hears the words the man uttered next, whatever sympathetic words of his own getting lost entirely.

"we are merely getting to know one another," stone replies as he refrains from moving further away from him, a bit of him on guard regardless if the man chose to suddenly snap. "I... I am sorry, if I unknowingly triggered something with what I was saying. I did not mean to upset you..."

the silence was strangling. felt like it had a vice grip on his throat, threatening to close up his windpipe. great job being quiet, julius, you stupid piece of shit⸻ say something. SAY SOMETHING, FUCKING TALK⸻

"......i'm," his fingers shift, and he moves to rub a hand along the side of his own neck, not looking at stone as he says this, "i'm sorry you never got to tell ivo," that felt strange to say, "the things you wanted to." he felt jealousy nip in his chest and knew that was irrational and stupid. he barely knew stone after all. & clearly they were both lonely from, everything either of them had gone through. but julius wanted to throw caution to the wind and let himself feel jealous, want stone, want, want⸻ he always wanted but never knew how or if he should sate that wanting. if he had the right to.

what had stone called it? marinating? just marinating, coasting through life, he supposed. doing what he felt he had to. a death without dying.

he exhaled, not sure he had it in him to explain more. there was so much more he felt he wanted to say, it was conflicting. he was scared that if he didn't now, the opportunity might never present itself again. he wondered if that itself was irrational, or maybe stupid, or naive. too emotional, too sensitive. he also couldn't stand the silence. wanted to speak with stone, but didn't know how. was he afraid of judgment? rejection? stone recoiling?

was he scared more, maybe, of stone stepping forward to meet him, and accepting it? what would that mean? to be seen, accepted, wanted not in spite of his ugliness or his horrors or his darkness but because of it.

"...i want," he swallowed, inhaled shortly, exhaled, and finally looked at stone again, "i want to tell you. i do. i just... i don't know how. no one's, ever bothered to ask, before. to want to know," he isn't sure how to express that, so he, he just lays a palm against his own chest. as if to silently say 'to know me', all of him.

stone knew by the silence that seemingly yet again he'd said the wrong thing, and a small part of him was starting to grow irritated at that fact. he tries to do his best to listen and be reassuring but it's perceived as anything but, and he practically has to stop himself from letting out a frustrated sigh at the entire scenario.

he knew very well when to pick and choose his battles, and right now his annoyance was not needed nor welcomed.

so instead of speaking and potentially further souring things between them he just stands there, arms resting loosely over his chest as he watches julius stand up. there really wasn't much in the way of anything that he could say to the man, it seemed.

🎉

the outfit that 'ian' is wearing during this thread, in case anyone was curious!!

i'd like to know you ⸻ hearing those words felt, bizarre. as precious and as warm as sunlight, they felt & yet that ever present and nagging fear, numbness threatened julius at the mere notion. the mere fraction of a thought: until you won't. until julius said or did something that was too much, too confusing, too outlandish or too contradictory, or too selfish or too sensitive or too⸻ he was scared, at the thought of losing this. losing him.

& just how much of himself was he willing to give, could he give? could he give parts that stone would help him to understand? julius had always wondered that, how he was supposed to just KNOW things innately when no one ever bothered to teach him, to explain, to show him. to let him feel, not that he felt very often or for very long.

at the reassuring smile, julius gives a small, awkward, brief one in return. like he isn't used to smiling very often, never sincerely. at what is said next, julius blinks, his turn to be caught off guard. oh. right. he supposed they never introduced themselves, did they?

"julius," he steps forward, reaching a hand out and shaking imad's, "it's nice to meet you, imad. er, properly." julius' touch lingers, not wanting to let go of imad's hand. he's probably shaking it for too long. how long did one normally shake another's hand?? julius glanced down, cleared his throat, finally stopped shaking imad's hand after probably 30 seconds, rubbed at the side of his neck again.

considered, but then stepped back, wanting to give imad space. "....your name suits you, i like it."

the little apology caught him off guard, and he chooses to nod as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, seeing yet another change in the man's demeanor. stone figured julius was likely pushing himself way out of his comfort zone, and he really did wonder just why that was. the man had shown he was very capable of deflecting, of being indifferent to what stone said and even expressed, so why the change of heart?

"I'd like to know you, as much as you feel comfortable telling me. In turn I will tell you about myself, that way it is an even exchange."

he offers him a reassuring smile, his previous look of annoyance fading away as he takes on a more friendly stance. "We could start with our first names, yeah? I am Imad, what is yours? I'd at least like to properly address the person I am speaking with."

you're not? that's a shame. immediately, a blush rises onto julius' expression, eyes widening a fraction in stunned surprise. o-oh. he clears his throat again as the pretty blonde stands up sharply, agreeing to the coffee. at that, julius flashes a soft, bright smile, "oh that's great. er, is there a shop nearby that you want to go to?" julius didn't quite know the area - newer to gotham - and he figured that it be better to let this guy take the reigns, lead.

· 𓂃 ࣪˖🔪 ˖ ࣪𓂂 . Head raises from magazine he was sifting through when he hears voice and eyes are quick to assess the other man in front of him. Nice face, he looks tall too. Body leans back fully in seat as he remained silent with ramblings, faint smirk on his face the entire time. "You're not? That's a shame." Said offhandedly before abruptly standing. A hand ran through hair to push a few strands out of his face. "'kay, I can go for a coffee. I wasn't waiting for anyone by the way."

⸻ ft. imad stone x julius robotnik ⸻

( "i can't lose you." )

crafted by iggy & marker.

What kind of relationship does your muse want with mine?

❤️ romantic 💛 platonic 💙 family 💜 mentor/mentee 💞 friends with benefits 💕 unrequited love [specify who] 💚 rivals 🖤 enemies

ANONYMOUSLY TELL ME YOUR HONEST OPINION ABOUT ME. I CAN’T REPLY/COMMENT, JUST PUBLISH.

Mads Mikkelsen for the fc thing ( specifically early Hannibal seasons. )

because of personal reasons, i can't really see this!! i relate mads mikkelsen & hannibal as a whole with someone else, so trying to apply him to julius just doesn't gel with me. early hannibal is a bit too calm for julius anyway, for as much as julius can try to hold himself together, he isn't actually that well put together.