I Had To Cut A Knot Out Of My Cat’s Fur. For The First Time In His Life, In The Ten Years I Have Known

i had to cut a knot out of my cat’s fur. for the first time in his life, in the ten years i have known him, he put his teeth on my hand, gently, a warning, telling me i was hurting him but unwilling to let that message sink in. 

i wonder how many people i have hurt worse than my cat hurt me. how many hands were trying to help me that i turned and devoured. i was so angry, so often, bristling with so many tangles that no knife could slit open. people who loved me tried everything and i snarled at them. how hurt i was when they were angry i was acting out of order. i would find out later their anger at my behavior was just because they were scared to death i was going to explode and they’d lose me and it came out looking angry.

i wish i could be like my cat. to warn that i was in pain, gently. to only lash out with the littlest of teeth. to know that sometimes what looks like an attack is actually a sign of love. but i only know claws, and using the fullest force of my venom to hurt others when they never meant to hurt me. i know logically sometimes there’s pain to pull the glass out. but i can’t stop myself from reacting.

More Posts from Dreams-and-nightmares and Others

2 years ago

lord grant me the serenity to do my laundry, the courage to do my laundry, and the wisdom to do my laundry

5 years ago

If you have a bad morning, it does not mean that the rest of the day will be a disaster. If you feel absolutely down in the evening, it does not mean that every little good thing that happened before is erased. Yes, life is a tough battle, but you my love, you are a tough fighter. Through the good and the bad, you hold on as tightly as you can and you make it through. You always make it through. Be proud of yourself. Stop for a second and look how far you have come - look what you have already conquered, darling. Picking yourself up over and over again is the hardest challenge of all but look at you winning. You are so capable. Go you.

5 years ago

You don’t need to have dated someone to know dating isn’t for you!

You don’t need to have had sex to know it isn’t for you!

You know yourself better than anyone else! I trust you, and you trust you!

5 years ago
𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜 𝒷𝓁𝓊𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌
𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜 𝒷𝓁𝓊𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌
𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜 𝒷𝓁𝓊𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌
𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜 𝒷𝓁𝓊𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌
𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜 𝒷𝓁𝓊𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌
𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜 𝒷𝓁𝓊𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌
𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜 𝒷𝓁𝓊𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌
𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜 𝒷𝓁𝓊𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌
𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜 𝒷𝓁𝓊𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌

𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜 𝒷𝓁𝓊𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝑜𝓇𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒 - 𝒱𝒶𝓃 𝒢𝑜𝑔𝒽

3 years ago
Czeslaw Milosz, New And Collected Poems: 1931-2001

Czeslaw Milosz, New and Collected Poems: 1931-2001

5 years ago

“Art differs from nature not in its organic form, but in its human origins: in the fact that it is not God or a machine that makes a work of art, but an individual with his instincts and intuitions, with his sensibility and his mind, searching relentlessly for the perfection that is neither in mind nor in nature, but in the unknown. I do not mean this in an other-worldly sense, only that the form of the flower is unknown to the seed.”

— Herbert Read, The Origins of Art (via mesogeios)

4 years ago
“writers & Lovers” Is Killing Me

“writers & lovers” is killing me

4 years ago

When Adam bit the apple he did it because he trusted Eve. Because he loved her. Adam bit into the apple because the woman he loved told him to, no matter what God said. No matter the rules of heaven. What’s heaven to a woman’s love anyway? What’s God to your wife? The first sins of humanity, were trusting others. Eve trusted a snake, Adam trusted Eve, and I trust you. Maybe that’s a sin, just like the first couple. Maybe everyone’s right about us and we’re sinners and we offend God. But like I said, what’s God to a woman’s love anyway? What has heaven got that I can’t find sitting next to you on a cool autumn morning?

4 years ago

“I sit here alone, burning,”

— Nikos Kazantzakis, from a letter to Yannis Stavridakis c. December 1917

2 years ago
Calm
Calm
Calm
Calm

calm

cr: a quien corresponda

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dreams-and-nightmares - lost in time and space
lost in time and space

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