Dreams-and-nightmares - Lost In Time And Space

GROWING PAINS

david wojnarowicz / alexander harding / su xinyu / @pearpoem / lorde / open house (1998) / billy collins / mitski / as i was moving ahead occasionally i saw brief glimpses of beauty (2000) / alain de bottom / hollis brown thornton / kalyn roseanne

recovery is always the right thing to do. when you heal, you’ll look at things with completely new eyes, and your life will feel softer and calmer like nothing you’ve felt for a long time. you deserve this kind of life. maybe it feels like a million miles away, but you’re already on your way, and you will get there.

― Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart

“Aside from myself, there was no sign of me.” ― Nicole Krauss

1.Rumi | 2.Holly Warburton | 3.Maggie Stiefvater | 4.Fyodor Dostoyevsky | 5.Nickie Zimov | 6.Clarice Lispector | 7.Nigel Van Wieck | 8.Georgia O’Keeffe | 9.Andrew Wyeth | 10.Mary Oliver | 11.Ilenia Tesoro | 12.Sylvia Plath | 13.Walt Whitman | 14.Nickie Zimov | 15.Jean-Paul Sartre | 16.Lydia Roberts | 17.Natalie Wee | 18.Lew Thomas | 19.Albert Camus

ghosting

sitting on the bus on a foggy morning and only thinking — is this, finally, my life? do i hold it with both hands? do i try to live?

you can simultaneously be appreciative for your education and critical of it, just because public education is full of propaganda and higher education is stealing your money doesn’t mean you shouldn’t fully take advantage of it if you can, learn everything possible and use it to Fuck Shit Up

write in textbooks, cause a ruckus, read stories you hate in english class and figure out why you hate them, ace your math test and forget everything you studied, use coloured pens, quiet rebellion is important too

My brain, having a meltdown like a toddler: I just can’t do it! I don’t want to !! I can’t!!

Me, parenting my tired toddler brain: Take a deep breath, it’s going to be ok. We don’t have to do everything today that’s overwhelming you. Let’s pick the most important thing to work on, ok? What’s the smallest step we can do to work towards that?

My toddler brain, wiping away tears: Um, I think we should...open up the important spreadsheet and look at the first row.

Me, parenting my tired toddler brain: Great! Let’s do that, and then we can have a popsicle, ok?

My toddler brain: *nods through drying tears, upset, but cooperative*

emotional processing is so funny because sometimes you’ll be violently sobbing on your bedroom floor over something that happened 4 years ago and then you’ll just. get up and make coffee. and go to the grocery store. and take all this fundamental sadness for a walk. and ponder the cosmic experiences of humanity while eating a sandwich. and that’s healing.

being asexual with a lot of aesthetic attraction is like no i dont wanna fuck you im just gonna keep stealing glances and accidently walk into a door