My Friend Left Her Window Open In Her Bedroom And Came Back To Find This

me: hey wanna come over and hang

friend: nah I’m busy tonight

my anxious ass:

friend: fuck yeah

How could she not? She’s using the legendary tactic of p o o l

Me after I take an Advil liquid gel

Oh fuck I figured out how to read the s p a g e t t i and I regret it

It’s almost Passover :)

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

whats your name. whats the color of the sky. whats the opposite of down

People of the hellsite, I ask of you one thing… _ick

Choose

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

Hey babygirl your head is so big