Trying To Manifest A Gf By Drawing Mizisua 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

my piece for Infinity: A Generation Loss Fanzine! very grateful for the chance to work with everyone on this project :)

it was only a matter of time when i will draw alien stage

West Bengal Miku

I based her off me lol

Jontim

I am Ahmed Jehad I am 28 years old. I am married and have a daughter who is less than a year old. I live in Gaza in a displacement tent in Deir al-Balah I lost my shelter and shelter

Help me save my family from destruction and poverty.

https://gofund.me/665fbb6c

Please help me by donating

Don't mind the extra tags - hopefully they reach other audiences ^^;

https://gofund.me/665fbb6c << link you should check out and help out :3

Reblog for sample size and also tell me why in the tags. I want violence. I want discourse. I want bloodshed

There's a uniqueness about the production of Heart, because it's intentionally carefully meant to sound impersonal (at least compared to Take My Hand), and more like delicate pop-y mainstream music. (Just like Sweet Dream in that sense.)

Because Sua is like a mass-produced porcelain doll, she conforms to these expectations, and everything she is to the media establishes her as a product for advertisement. So I can imagine it like this, she's drawn up by strings and she starts up like a wind-up doll sings for you in her beautiful dress behind the screen, stagnant, her ghostly image forever immortalized as that, a beautiful face with a beautiful voice. But behind the facade, her bleeding heart and her profound emotions are just under the surface. It's a perfect encapsulation of her as a character

The reality behind her and Mizi's inevitable tragedy is like that too, a show to the aliens, eventually the curtains were to close on them, and the (poison glass will be in my mouth) (possibly an allusion for blood) means she knows she will die, and their story would conclude on that dreadful note, and Sua knew this all along as they would grow up together. The bitter-sweetness of their memories, and Mizi's love, knowing time is limited and the cruel truth looming, but still choosing to love despite it, even though it's selfish to wish for a paradise at the expense of someone else, she wants to be saved from the fate of dying with hurt and loneliness and fear just like her sister thought she would've alongside all those other unfortunate children in Anakt, because she was just pitiful. But she wasn't, and she wanted live differently than that when she met Mizi who changed everything for her

It's pitiful that she practically criticizes herself in this song for trying to find even momentary hope in a hopeless situation, the guilt of knowing how selfish this is and then thinking of herself as a coward for being afraid and running away, she had to keep the facade of perfection, she couldn't tell Mizi about the true complexity of what feelings she had, and she died with most of this sealed away in her heart

These feelings of hers are knowingly cruel, that's why "hurt" and "heart" sometimes blend within the lyrics, rather than wandering life aimlessly, she wants to feel belonging, to belong to someone's heart and memory, she wants to feel, and she doesn't want to fear living. Her sister's words impacted her so much, and Heart here expands on those feelings. Sua wants to fit into the comfort of their little world, in Mizi's heart. She wants Mizi to remember her even in the hurt because that's where her heart lies. This cycle would continue, Sua would leave a traumatic, irreversible impact on Mizi, the same way her sister did on her

And so comes the person under the mask, the twisted and selfish and desperate person Sua is behind her warm smiles or her model face that she doesn't want the cameras to pry into her and see or for Mizi to find out, she doesn't wish for the delicate and kind Mizi to know how she truly is with her twisted nature, doesn't want Mizi to one day see the worst of her and leave her or ever change because Mizi thought the world of her, didn't suspect a thing, always admired Sua's clean and kind nature.

(Maybe on that stage, she didn't want Mizi to look into her eyes with such love before she was going to do something unforgivable and heartbreaking, even though she felt truly free in that moment, no fear, true elation at being able to live out their dream, but then the facade broke)

Sua genuinely believes her heart is twisted, and that her heart would be "The worst blessing in your life." Because she was desperate to obsessively find comfort in Mizi's naivety. And then she would leave Mizi in disarray when, eventually, she knew it would all be over- they were each other's blessings, but the trauma and hurt she would leave Mizi with in the end would be cursed poison .