Put Spikes On Your Wheelchair's Handles. Wrap Barbed Wire Around Your Cane Or Crutch So It'll Hurt Like

petition for chronic pain to just

not

please make it stop i beg

Jesus Christ this fucking disorder. I've had someone screaming and crying inside my fucking head all day and it's taking everything in me to not let them front and I just wanna lay down inside like ten blankets and not have to be real

Fuck fuck fuck.

So I'm visiting my grandma today which means I'm also visiting my stepmom, who doesn't believe 80% of my trauma even happened.

A series of very fucking unfortunates events has taken place. The details are unnecessary. But I'm triggered as all fuck and TRAPPED here until my bus comes, then trapped on the bus for 2.5 hours. All the while I have to pretend I'm fine, like I'm not experiencing feelings about the triggers, like I'm not fighting for my life to keep from dissociating, like my dissociated parts aren't freeeeaking out.

I am so mentally unwell it's making me nauseous.

I hate this fucking place and my fucking brain and my fucking trauma and this fucking disorder. Hate hate hate.

"Disabled " is a neutral descriptor at worst. It just means we can't do some things the way other people can, or at all. It's not an insult, and it doesn't mean we're lesser.

Disabled culture is beautiful and wonderful. Disabled people are beautiful and wonderful. We and our worlds are not a misfortune or a consolation prize.

abusive parents will go off about how expensive it is to keep you around and how they have no money and what a fucking burden you are and they don’t see the irony?

dude. you MADE me. what the fuck were you thinking. stupid idiot loser. go back to that moment and don’t have sex. problem fucking solved. what the fuck do you expect me to do, die now that you decided having kids is inconvenient? wow. maybe you should have thought this thru.

TW self harm, alcohol

I got home and fucking cut my foot and got drunk and now I'm just laying here with a paper towel inside my sock, feeling so fucking much better. I feel bad because I plan to lie to my husband if he asks about my foot, but not bad enough to not do it I guess. I don't want him to know so I'm not telling anyone irl.

I'm just. I'm so tired and it's been a bad, triggering af day, and this is what I've chosen to do about it. I'm in my fucking thirties and I'm still acting like a fucking dumbass.

I don't want to be alone right now but my husband isn't going to be home for hours and nobody is answering the phone and. Idk.

I'm just here. Trying to stay alive. Trying to convince myself to stay alive.

mannnnn until we all get okay with the idea of people needing other people to get them water/food/etc like. idk we’re just never gonna make it

"disability only exists because the world isnt accessible" idk how to tell you this but chronic pain still hurts

the main reason I don't want kids is because I don't want to become my mother. but here I am, supposed to be reparenting my inner child, instead beating this part of myself up internally because it's so needy. somehow I still became her.

After therapy today, I spent 5 hours writing fanfiction in which the main character gets the comfort I wish I had been given as a kid. I didn't do anything on my to-do list but I'm gonna count this as productive anyway.