Manta Ray I Crocheted For My Girlfriend's Birthday :) He's A Very Comfy Pillow With A Nice Weight And

Blood & Buttercream

Chapter One - Exposition.

Baker!Reader x Butcher!Simon Riley

CW: None, SFW.

Word Count: 1.2K

You’re sitting in your local Costa, sadly picking at an overpriced, sad sandwich and lukewarm coffee. Chains are never your first option if you can help it, but this small town doesn’t have a local cafe open past 10am.

Another sigh, you could do it so much better, you think, grimacing at a bite of soggy bread. As a baker, you know good bread and this, this is not good bread.

How difficult can it be, really, you sip from your cup; musing.

You could do it, you think, you already have a steady business as an online bakery and a presence at the closest local markets, known for your delicate bakes with pretty decorations.

The savoury side of things though…you know what’d you’d do, sandwiches with homemade focaccia, doorstep thick toast, savoury pastries.

It’d have to be right though. The voice pops up unbidden and you bite your lip, your need for perfection is both a blessing and a curse.

You abandon the remnants of your sandwich and head home thoughts churning.

In your kitchen, you create a focaccia, flaky salt, good olive oil, rosemary and cherry tomatoes.

Once it’s cooked you realise you don’t have the right meats and you drag yourself to the store, you stand in front of the deli meats aisle for longer than you want to admit, until your fingers start to get a little numb and you take home a selection and painstakingly try a little of everything with the bread and nothing's right, nothing works.

You hiss in frustration before cutting a large chunk and wrapping it in wax paper and grabbing your keys.

You know you must look like a crazy person, stomping into the butchers and dropping the bread on the counter in front of the mountain of a man who works there, the bottom half of his face covered by a black mask.

“I need help” you say shortly “I’ve tried the supermarket meats and it’s not right.”

He stares at you, shocked, confused, you can’t tell.

“Look, you're an expert right?” A slow nod. “Good. I’m fed up with having no good cafes so I’m gonna do it myself but I’m a novice at savoury, so taste that.”

You wave a hand irritably at the wax-paper wrapped focaccia “and please tell me what meat is supposed to go in it.”

There’s a beat, two, before callused hands are unwrapping the bread and tearing a chunk off, corner of the mask lifting to accommodate before being lowered.

A moan. “I know” you say, slightly smug “so I’m not putting it with mediocre fillings”

The man hums, swallowing, before turning to a leg of something along the back counter and cutting a thin slice, dropping it onto a paper plate before handing it to you.

“Try that” he rasps, you take the plate and try the meat, it’s salty, slightly smoky and so much better than whatever you brought from the supermarket and combinations throw themselves into your head.

You’re unaware of the butcher staring at you.

“How much will I need to make at least ... .four sandwiches?” You half ask, half demand.

“Bout 15 slices” he replies after a moment's thought.

“Great, that then please,” you say sweetly, “and you can keep the rest of the bread.” You add on when you’ve paid and have the wrapped meat in your hand before almost running out of the shop to get home.

Simon stares for a long time, before devouring the rest of the bread.

The next few hours are spent in your kitchen, every surface covered in pans and bowls. The meat he’s given you, you learn, is called Serrano and it’s so good. 

You’re lucky enough to have a garden and a greenhouse and you pull some rocket from the soil dropping it into a colander for later. Back in your kitchen you create a chilli jam, not too spicy with a slight acidity to balance the salt. 

A quick google suggests that manchego is a common pairing but you worry that it will make the finished sandwich too salty and you bite your lip, scouring your fridge. Burrata. You’d brought it to make your own pizzas but…you wouldn’t need all of it. 

You catalogue what you have in your head, salt from the meat and the bread, acid from the jam, fat from the cheese and heat from both the jam and the peppery kick of the rocket. 

You layer the sandwich and wrap it in greaseproof paper, pulling it tight before cutting it in half with a large bread knife. 

You smile at the cross section and take a bite. The flavours explode on your tongue and you grin, victorious. It’s so much better than the sad toastie you started your day with.

You tidy your kitchen, decanting the rest of the chilli jam into sterilised jars and carefully storing the meat and cheese before washing your paraphernalia. 

You’re about to become that poor butcher’s worst nightmare, you think ruefully as you start to compile a list of other things you’d want to stock. 

You feel so guilty in advance that you assemble a peace offering, the other half of the sandwich, a jar of your new chilli jam and a caramel brownie. Is it weird if I bother him again? You shake the thought away, you have questions and your brain needs them answered. Now. 

You pack your offering into a box and head back out, chucking a notebook and pen into your bag as you pass the countertop. 

The man behind the counter looks surprised to see you, if the slight raise of his eyebrow is any indication. 

“Alright?” He asks slowly.

“Yeah,” you chuckle slightly nervously as you introduce yourself, “I think I’m probably about to become your worst nightmare.” 

“Doubt that” he mutters, “‘m Simon.” 

You nod “Simon, it’s nice to meet you.” A smile, you brandish the box containing your peace offering. 

“I need to ask you some questions about, well, everything meat so here’s a…” you stumble over your words. “Gift? In return for the annoyance I’m probably gonna cause you.” 

The man, Simon, takes the box from you and flips open the lid, “this the sandwich you made?” He asks, fishing it out with one large hand, you nod as he unwraps the paper and takes a large bite. 

His eyes close momentarily as he chews and swallows “gonna bring me one of these every time you’ve got a question love?” 

Your brain stutters momentarily over the pet name and you feel your face get warm. 

“Um, yes?” You offer as you will your face to cool down, watching as he takes another bite and groans in appreciation. 

“Best sandwich I’ve ever had.” He tells you and you can’t help but preen at the compliment. 

“Thanks,” you whip out your notebook “so, if I wanted to make a quiche with ham in it but also sandwiches, would I need different styles?” The pen is pushed against your lip as you think “Oh and I know there’s a ratio of fat to meat for everything but if I wanted to do sausage rolls and scotch eggs would they need to be different too?” 

You realise Simon is staring at you and you shuffle your feet, ears going hot, waiting for the inevitable comments about you being ‘weird’ or ‘too much.’ 

They don’t come. 

You force yourself to meet his gaze, steeling yourself for whatever expression you find there. You don’t expect fascination, appraisal. 

“You this meticulous about ever’thin love?” It’s almost a growl and your mind wanders for a split second before you manage to eek out a “yes.” 

Simon grins, taking a large bite of the brownie “fucking hell, where’ve you been hidin?” 

Self love spell jar

Always cleanse first!

Cinnamon

Himalayan salt

Sugar

Dried rose petals

Sealed with pink wax

On White Fear & Creating Diverse Transformative Works

So whenever fandom tries to address the question “Why aren’t there more works featuring characters of color?” there are a myriad of (predictable) responses.  One of which is appearing with increasing frequency: “Because we (usually: white creators of transformative works) are afraid of getting it wrong.”

And like.  I’ve already addressed how ‘thinking you’ll get it wrong’ is a failure of both imagination and of craft/skill (and a symptom of the racial empathy gap, which I forgot had a proper name when I wrote that post).  Meanwhile, @stitchmediamix absolutely accurately pointed out that the ‘fear’ being discussed is fear of being called racist, not necessarily fear of failure.

Now, we could go into the whole absurdity of white fragility here, but google is a thing and “white fragility” is discussed all over the place and I trust ya’ll to do the work if you actually give a shit about this subject… which I assume you do, if you’re reading this – but if you’re just here to find a way to dismiss the issue at hand, I’m gonna save you some time and recommend you scroll past.

Writers can also be fragile, especially in transformative works communities, where “if you don’t have anything nice to say, hit the back button and keep your mouth shut” is the primary expectation wrt feedback, and anything that deviates from that is considered a mortal insult (do you vageublog about my fic, sir?).  But if we’re willing to deploy an array of tools to make our writing not-My-Immortal-bad, from spellcheck to wikipedia to in-depth historical research to betas and britpickers and so on, then we should be willing to employ equivalent tools to avoid writing racist stories.

Incidentally, writing stories that erase/ignore extant characters of color, especially if they’re prominent in the source text? is racist.  So avoiding writing characters of color altogether is not the solution to making your writing not-racist.

And, okay.  I feel it’s important to acknowledge here, as I have before, that the Fear of Fucking Up is a very real fear that genuinely does affect people’s enthusiasm for / likelihood to write, regardless of the validity or fairness of that Fear’s origins, and I’m going to be generous enough to assume that there are some people who are acting in good faith when they say “I want to, but I’m scared.”

So. This is for those who are acting in good faith, from the perspective of a white fan who has written fic about characters of color in several fandoms and never gotten pilloried for it, even when I know for a fact (in retrospect) that I’ve fucked up details.

(oh, side note: I know this is mostly tackling things from a writing perspective, but a lot of this can apply to creating transformative works overall with a few tweaks.)

First: realize that the likelihood of getting called out is actually pretty low.  And fans of color aren’t as Mean and Angry and Unfairly Sensitive as some people want us to believe.  (Do you vagueblog about That Dumpster Fire Meta, sir?  /  No, sir, I do not vagueblog about That Meta sir; but I do vagueblog, sir.)

This is not to say that there aren’t people out there who’re more than willing to make a (justified) stink about egregiously racist writing.  But it’s actually very rare to get targeted, especially publicly by a large number of unhappy fans.  Because you know what? most fans, including fans of color, want to just have fun in fandom as much as anyone else.

It’s just, y’know, a little harder for fans of color to ‘just have fun’ when us white fans are showing our asses with stories involving “Dragon Lady” Elektra or “Angry Black Woman” Sally Donovan or “Spicy Latin Lover” Poe Dameron.  And sometimes us white fans only listen to what fans of color are saying when they make a Big Deal out of it. 

That’s not a failure of their ability to stay calm.  That’s our failure to listen before they get loud and organized.  Because I’m willing to bet that people who get called out publicly? got a few polite, private messages about their screwup first, and they doubled down instead of listening. 

Also: there is a thing where, no matter how politely they word their critique, fans of color, especially black fans, are more likely to be unjustly perceived as ‘mean’ and ‘angry’ by white fans.  Again, that’s our failure, not theirs.  Plus, even if they are angry, that doesn’t automatically mean they’re wrong (see: Tone Argument).

Step Two is: pay attention to discussions about racist tropes in fiction.  Yes, even when it’s crit of our favorite shows/movies/characters/etc.  If you understand the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope and why it’s harmful, or you understand the Bechdel-Wallace test, or you can have a meaningful discussion about Mary Sues, or you can (justifiably) rail about how Bury Your Gays sucks, then you can develop a similar appreciation for racial biases and stereotypes.  And then you can find ways to avoid them.  

No, no one’s expecting you to memorize bell hooks so you can write a drabble about Iris West, or demanding you write a dissertation on media stereotypes wrt the simultaneous fetishization and desexualization of Asian women (who aren’t a monolith, either, but Hollywood doesn’t seem to know that) before you’re ‘allowed’ to write Melinda May in a story, but like.  Pay attention when people, especially fans of color, are talking about common tropes so that you don’t unthinkingly replicate or perpetuate them in your fic.

Yes, racist writing can involve more than just thoughtless parroting of harmful tropes, but my best guess is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, fanwork getting ‘called out’ in fandom involves those tropes.  So avoiding them takes your chances of getting criticized from ‘low’ to ‘almost nonexistent.’  Less to fear, see?

Step Three is: more research – basically, at least as much as you’d be willing to invest in any equivalent white character.  @writingwithcolor is a great blog, and has links to additional resources; .  If you’re the type to get a beta or a britpicker, find a sensitivity reader or a beta of the appropriate background.  Not all fans of color are willing to do this kind of unpaid labor, just as not all fans are willing to britpick/beta, but they’re out there.  Approach them respectfully, and listen to them if they say that something in your story looks off.

It’s worth noting here that writing about characters of color doesn’t need to involve - and in fact, some advice recommends avoiding - telling Special Stories About Racism.  Stories about characters of color don’t need to be about slavery or civil rights or the constant parade of microaggressions they have to deal with daily in order to be realistic or compelling (or angsty, for those who love writing angst, as I do).  Research can turn up useful information that can inform our choices as writers, but if we don’t share the oppression our characters face, it’s not our job to tell stories specifically about that oppression.

Step Four is: before posting, anticipate the worst.  What will you do if someone says you fucked up?  If your answer is “argue with them and talk over their concerns,” stop.  Remember that you’re not a victim of a ‘mean fan of color,’ but that you’ve probably written something that they consider harmful.  Being told that you wrote something racist isn’t an attack on your moral fiber.  You’re not an irredeemable monster if you fuck up, but your response to being told you fucked up is far more telling.  Acknowledge their concerns, fix the issue if you can, learn from your mistake, and fail better next time.

You cannot improve if you don’t try in the first place.  Failure to try is failure, so try your best, and improve incrementally – just as you already do as a writer with any story.

In conclusion: The 4 Steps to Getting Over Yourself as a White Fanfic Writer: (1) recognize that the likelihood of getting called out is pretty low; (2) educate yourself about the most common racist writing issues, so that likelihood will be even lower; (3) do your due diligence when writing; (4) in case of the worst: apologize, fix the issue, learn from the experience, fail better in the future.

(And again, google is your friend – there are a lot of people who’ve written about this subject, like Kayla Ancrum, Morgan Jenkins, the mods at Writing with Color, Thao Le, and Monica Zepeda, among many, many, others.  I’m merely sharing my own perspective from what I’ve learned from listening to a lot of smart people, in case it might help some of you – if it doesn’t, keep looking, a ton of great resources are out there.)

rank the kids from "would destroy the batmobile in less than 10 minutes if left alone" to "Bruce wouldn't notice for 2 weeks if you took it for a joyride"

Canonically can't drive – Cassandra

Can drive but can't operate the controls – Duke

He's 3 feet tall, that's a fender bender waiting to happen – Damian

Promptly returned it because he felt bad – Cullen

She's 13 – Carrie

Failed her driving test so many times the DMV just gave her a license so she'd stop bothering them – Stephanie

Tried to pull a quick one as an only child so as punishment he's no longer an only child – Dick

Could pilot it remotely while borrowing her neighbor's WiFi – Barbara

Made it halfway to Central City before getting a ticket – Harper

Slowly stole the parts and reassembled it somewhere else, waiting for the opportunity to pull up next to Bruce with his second secret Batmobile – Jason

Leaves it where it normally is but gaslights Bruce into thinking it's gone – Tim

I made a what the fandom thinks of you generator

edit: please remember

1. i have to read all the tags

2. ITS RANDOMLY GENERATED I AM SORRY IF YOU DONT LIKE YOUR RESULT BUT DO NOT FUCKING HARASS ME ABOUT IT

thank you

Jonathan, looking out the window and once more watching Dracula scale the walls like a lizard:

How to Enchant Items 🔮

To enchant an item is to infuse it with magical energy. This energy can come from a variety of sources, including celestial bodies, elements, crystals, herbs, or even yourself. 

Some individuals use the words “enchant” and “charm” synonymously as a way to describe the process of infusing something with energy, but for the sake of this post and due to my own beliefs, you enchant something and it then becomes a charm. Alternately, a charm can be something with its own innate energy, like a crystal or herbal amulet. 

Enchanting items to turn them into magical objects involves more than just intent - you must learn to channel and manipulate energy, and direct it into that item for enchanting to be successful. 

Although, the process of enchanting is extremely versatile and there are many ways to do it.

Here are a few ideas on how to enchant items, in no particular order:

Surround the item with crystals of corresponding intent

Surround the item with herbs of corresponding intent 

Place the item in a jar filled with herbs that represent your intent

Place the item in front of a candle and meditate on your intent 

Anoint the item with an oil, charged water, or crystal elixir of corresponding intent 

Hold the item in your hand(s) and visualize it filling with the appropriate energy 

Hold the item in your hand(s) and speak or sing your intent aloud

Craft a symbol to keep near the item in an envelope or sachet

Sew, stitch, or carve a symbol into the item  

Write your intention on paper and keep in an envelope with the item 

Pair the item with a corresponding runestone or tarot / oracle card in an envelope 

Take the item and put it in a box with other items that represent your intent such as crystals, herbs, talismans, amulets, etc. 

Bury the item in soil with herbs and/or crystals that match your intent (please don’t put salt on your lawn though, unless you want dead grass)

Pass the item through incense smoke that matches your intent 

Pro Tip: Time your enchantments with the appropriate planetary hour, day of the week, time of day, or lunar phase to increase your chances of creating a successful charm.

© 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟺 𝙰𝙳-𝙲𝙰𝙴𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙰

a story in 3 parts