‘Belehrung’ By Sergius Hruby, 1935

Cute headcanon: Imagine Billy being told the truth that day at the Byers in s2 and becoming the Party Co-Parent with steve and Dustin telling Billy that he and Steve are the party's paladin and fighter and Billy's gleaned enough to be like "haha I'm the fighter I get it" only for Dustin to be like "nope you're a paladin under the oath of devotion, you fit all the tenets" and just rocking Billy's world bc he's never been told his tendency to throw himself in the middle of shit and this protectiveness that's gotten twisted is a *good* thing

Steve finds him later just staring blankly at the Players Manual that Dustin showed Billy and he just sighs and goes to yell at Dustin like "what did I SAY about not breaking Billy with the revelation that he's not a complete asshole"

Listen, listen, listen. This is pure gold.

Because picture it: Billy was in the right to be creeped the fuck out when he rolled up to the Byers house that night, right? He's running around looking for his little sister, knowing he's going to get his ass handed to him if something's happened to her, and he finds her with Steve fucking Harrington and a whole bunch of boys at a strange house in a part of town he's likely never been to, that Max snuck out to get to. If he'd gotten an actual explanation, if Steve had said, "Hey, man, I know this is weird as shit, but there's a whole lot that you don't know. There's some life or death shit happening here."

...I mean, Billy still would've tried to fight him. It's Billy. I'd love it if a demodog attacked at that same moment. Ramp up the tension and shove Billy right into this world of monsters and mayhem. Maybe it grabs him while he's pummeling Steve, so he has no choice but to react, to whirl around on it, and Steve stumbles up and helps him kill it and Billy just stares at him like what. the. fuck.

And he looks at Max because, seriously, we have been here for like a week, how have you already gotten involved with some Stephen King-level bullshit, Maxine? And she has absolutely no time to explain. She's still wrapping her head around all of this, after all. She tells Billy he's either in or out and holds her hands out, demanding his keys, and he just rolls his eyes and piles everyone into his car and they do the whole going down into the tunnels thing. He has NO CLUE what's going on, but he's not letting Max out of his sight now that he knows her life is in literal danger.

It's not until the Snow Ball that Steve gives Billy the full run-down. Max has given him bits and pieces, but it's still so new to both of them, so he has to get the whole story from Steve. They drive Dustin and Max to the dance, then spend the night sitting on the hood of the Camaro while Steve tells Billy everything. "There's a girl with superpowers? What is this, the fucking X-Men?" He's dumbfounded, but he's got no choice to believe it. And he won't quite admit it to anyone else, but it did feel good, down in those tunnels, to fight with someone instead of against them — to feel like Steve and the kids all had his back.

And maybe when the Mind Flayer comes back around, it doesn't go after Billy, because Billy's not alone, he's not isolated. He's got Steve now, because you don't fight inter-dimensional monsters with someone and not get close to them. They hang out. They become friends. Maybe more than friends. And it's a package deal, yeah? You get Steve, you get the kids. Plus, he and Max have a better relationship after, y'know, nearly getting eaten by demogorgons together. He might be a little grumpy, a little rough around the edges, but he still has friends. He's not an island anymore. The Mind Flayer has to pick someone else while Billy is with the kids, all of them worried about where Steve and Dustin might be this whole time, and when they finally link up together at the mall, Dustin tells him his role. He looks at Steve and Billy and says, "Fighter. Paladin." and Billy rolls his eyes because yeah, okay, of course he's the fighter, all fists and rage, and Dustin looks at him all confused and is like nope, no sir, you're the paladin — the leader — the protector.

And Billy is blown away.

No one challenges Dustin, either. They all agree, and this confuses Billy even more. Max is the one that explains that he protects them. That they all see it, that they all know that he looks out for them, this little group of misfits, these targets for the bully that Billy thought he was. They see him. They know that he's more than some angry kid, more than the asshole his father has molded him to be, and MY GOD would he take that so, so seriously.

And yes, when all is said and done and they can have their little MCU-esque post credits scene eating pizza and playing D&D in Mike's basement, Billy sits in the corner and thumbs through the player's guide to learn more about this title that Dustin has bestowed upon him, and Steve shakes his head and looks at Dustin all, "Nice going. You broke him." but he can't say it without smiling because look at Billy. Being part of the group. Embracing the weirdos. Counting himself among them.

GOD I LOVE IT.

Hey remember that a boycott if actually MORE effective under capitalism if you profess you would actually end the boycott under certain conditions.

“Nothing this company does can make up for their bad actions, I will never buy from them again!” Okay so they’ve lost you as a customer and have no reason to try and get you back. You can HOPE to drive them into bankruptcy but Chic-Fil-A is evidence of how well that works.

“This company did something bad. I would not consider buying their product again, UNLESS, they publicly apologized and made up for it by … [donating money to a cause, promoting different content, offering better care to their employees, etc.]” This is actually MORE likely to be effective because if enough people say this, the company m sees them as potential customers of a certain demographic, and is willing to make changes to get those customers back and, long term, make money from them.

Oooo it’s me!!

❓ Riddler  Bi Flag ❓

Jonathan, looking out the window and once more watching Dracula scale the walls like a lizard:

a story in 3 parts

crocheted this stegosaurus for my nephew who was just borned! made with cotton thread

pattern by Heidibears

𝑺𝑪𝑬𝑵𝑨𝑹𝑰𝑶  𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺.

↬   OF  FAIRYTALES,  FOLKLORE  AND  FAEKIND.

scenarios  inspired  by  various  settings,  encounters  &  magic  tucked  between  pages,  fashioned  by  the  author.

+   feel  free  to  change  pronouns  /  roles  !

FAIRYTALES.

‘  let  me  guess,  you  thought  a  true  love’s  kiss  would  help  you.  ’

‘  you  will  always  follow  the  trail  in  the  wood,  and  it  will  guide  you  on  the  same  path,  to  the  same  cottage,  the  same  witch.  it  will  always  be  your  undoing.  ’

‘  i  have  never  seen  a  more  tragic  creature.  how  might  i  help  you  ?  ’

‘  you  must  take  this  knife  and  plunge  it  into  his  /  her  /  their  heart.  ’

‘  forget  yourself.  that  is  how  you  break  your  curse.  ’

‘  remove  this  thorn  from  my  hand,  and  you  will  be  rewarded.  ’

‘  i’m  tired  of  being  a  prince.  i  think  i  would  actually  enjoy  being  a  frog.  ’

‘  tell  me  of  the  beast,  and  i  will  hunt  it  for  you.  ’

‘  mice  are  never  just  mice,  and  pumpkins  are  rarely  just  pumpkins.  ’

‘  i  don’t  think  breaking  a  spell  should  be  this  simple.  ’

‘  i  never  thought  i’d  return  here,  to  the  site  where  it  all  began.  ’

‘  are  you  an  orphan  ?  it’s  just  that  they’re  always  finding  themselves  in  magical  predicaments.  ’

‘  the  mirror  speaks  falsely  in  your  ear.  it  is  your  true  curse.  ’

‘  my  heart  feels  uneasy,  although  i  am  free.  is  it  supposed  to  ?  ’

‘  i’m  sorry,  it’s  just  that  i  thought  this  is  the  part  of  the  quest  where  the  animals  ought  to  start  talking  to  me.  ’

‘  of  course  i  plan  on  going  to  the  ball.  why  wouldn’t  i  ?  ’

‘  jealousy  has  made  more  witches  out  of  women  than  adam’s  rib.  ’

‘  where  has  choosing  goodheartedness  and  having  golden  hair  ever  gotten  you  ?  ’

 ‘  are  you  a  helpful  wizard,  or  the  kind  that  sits  in  a  tower  reading  moldy  books  ?  ’

‘  i’m  dreadfully  bored.  who  knew  waiting  for  a  prince  was  so  strenuous  ?  ’

‘  we  all  have  towers  we  must  leave,  and  magic  that  will  try  to  thwart  us.  ’

‘  i’m  afraid  for  the  clock  to  strike.  the  hour  will  ring  in  the  place  of  my  heartbeat  when  we  must  be  parted.  ’

‘  i  had  no  idea  carpets  could  fly.  or  pigs  for  that  matter.  ’  

‘  what  would  happen  if  the  knight  did  not  arrive  to  the  castle,  and  the  dragon  made  a  den  of  it  and  a  hoard  of  its  people  and  prize  of  its  princess  ?  ’

‘  i  sometimes  think  i  was  switched  out  at  birth,  like  a  lizard  in  a  bird’s  nest.  i  belong  somewhere  else.  ’

‘   in  another  kingdom  exists  a  throne  and  a  crown  that  is  mine  by  right.  ’

‘  if  i  did  not  wake  up  one  day,  i  would  still  be  waiting  on  a spinning  wheel,  dutifully  bored.  ’  

‘  something  in  me  knows  you  are  here  for  my  heart.  ’

FOLKLORE.

‘  in  all  the  myths  i’ve  heard,  it’s  never  been  worthwhile  to  approach  strange  sights.  it’s  best  to  turn  around  and  pretend  you  never  saw  them.  ’

‘  nothing  is  folklore  until  it  exists  longer  than  consciousness  remembers,  and  lives  in  spite  of  it.  ’

‘  i’ve  heard  your  name  before,  in  songs  and  lengthy  ballads.  ’

‘  whatever  has  led  you  here  to  me,  there  is  destiny  in  its  making.  ’

‘  the  beast  returns  every  century  or  so,  and  tries  to  devour  us.  it  will  come  again  before  long.  ’

‘  a  pretty  face  is  not  nothing.  it  earns  you  a  hearth  and  a  kind  hand,  after  all.  ’

‘  their  lips  are  red  as  blood,  and  their  teeth  carve  ruin  into  throats.  ’

‘  aren’t  dragons  supposed  to  breathe  fire  and  make  a  fuss  about  having  their  treasure  found  ?  ’

‘  someday  you  will  become  a  pilgrim,  a  saint,  or  a  favored  story,  while  i  will  be  a  voice  on  the  wind.  ’

‘  the  stories  say  brides  don’t  live  to  the  light  before  demons  devour  them.  why  should  i  become  one  ?  ’

‘  there  was  another  girl  like  you  once,  in  a  small  town  like  this  one.  i  can’t  remember  if  she  became  the  monster  or  died  trying  to  escape  it.  ’

‘  remember  to  festoon  the  hearth  with  garlic,  or  rosemary,  or  one  of  those  mundane  herbs  that  keep  evil  out.  ’

‘  that  sounds  like  nothing  but  a  tall  tale,  but  i’m  certain  smaller  minds  would  eat  it  up.  ’

‘  to  cross  this  bridge,  you’ll  have  to  pay  a  heavy  toll.  ’

‘  don’t  stray  too  far  from  the  path  set  before  you,  or  something  interesting  might  happen.  ’

‘  i’ve  passed  that  yard  of  crops  a  million  times,  but  the  crow  never  moved  from  its  post  until  this  morning.  ’

‘   it  is  as  though  ancient  fears  are  still  in  us  like  scars  or  stitches.  ’

‘  graveyards  aren’t  where  you  find  ghosts.  look  for  them  in  places  that  feel  like  memories  you  shouldn’t  have.  ’

‘  stories  reap  princes  from  peasants  as  if  their  skins  were  crops  in  the  ground.  ’

‘  what  form  does  your  fear  take  ?  surely  not  that  of  a  bear  or  a  lion.  such  things  are  too  assuring.  ’

‘  i  found  myself  where  everything  was  too  familiar  to  be  real.  ’

‘  in  safe  beds  on  cold  dark  nights,  we  learn  to  face  the  monsters  in  our  own  minds.  ’

FAEKIND.

‘  you’re  not  to  partake  in  a  fairy  feast.  don’t  you  know  it’s  the  food  that  will  devour  you  ?  ’

‘  i’m  sorry  you  did  not  read  the  eyes  of  the  trees  before  finding  yourself  here.  ’

‘  i  wish  to  go  back.  i  want  to  forget  everything.  ’

‘  you  think  that  believing  in  us  is  enough  to  protect  you  ?  that  it  will  kill  us  if  you  forget,  and  we  prey  upon  your  unknowing  ?  ’

‘  step  around  the  ring  three  times,  like  a  backwards  clock.  that’s  how  you  get  to  fairyland.  ’  

‘  i’ve  never  heard  such  sweet  music  before.  ’

‘  where  the  trees  begin  to  twist  and  groan  in  their  roots,  remember  you  must  not  make  a  right  turn.  ’

‘  i  didn’t  feel  like  i’d  stepped  into  another  world,  but  like  it  stepped  into  me.  i  knew  i  was  there  and  forgot  i’d  left  anything  behind.  ’

‘  how  amusing.  a  human  !  ’

‘  would  you  be  my  bride  if  i  were  to  take  you  into  the  ground  ?  ’

‘  i  know  of  tunnels  you  might  take,  the  burrows  of  trolls  and  rabbits.  ’

‘  don’t  take  anything  from  this  realm,  none  of  it  is  worth  the  price  of  keeping.  ’

‘  there  are  courts  by  many  titles  in  the  lands  beyond  the  veil,  all  of  them  other.  ’

‘  names  are  not  like  currency  here;  they  are  more  precious  than  diamonds  and  legacies.  ’

‘  did  you  think  all  of  us  looked  like  goblins  ?  ’

‘  getting  here  is  easy,  but  getting  home  is  quite  the  trick.  ’

‘  i  shall  give  you  a  riddle,  and  it  will  puzzle  you  until  you  know  the  answer  but  forget  your  own  soul.  ’

‘  a  bloodline  is  nothing  when  you’ve  outlived  civilizations.  ’

‘  refusing  my  hospitality  is  like  human  sin,  and  it  will  bring  worse  upon  you.  ’

‘  everything  here  is  and  isn’t,  and  things  are  and  aren’t.  ’

‘  on  lonely  nights  i  stare  into  the  trees,  and  a  strange  face  leers  back.  ’

‘  the  thrones  here  are  made  of  bones  and  blood,  and  built  upon  decay.  ’

‘  a  third  time  is  not  a  charm,  but  a  bargain.  it  says  that  you  want  something  enough  to  wager  your  sense.  ’

‘  it  is  dangerous  to  think  that  magical  beings  do  not  have  human  intensities.  ’

Glowy dark mode site skin

🎼 You would not believe your eyes, if 10 million fireflies ended up in the header of your AO3. 🎶

It's been a while since I tried glow effects, but I saw the fireflies and I couldn't resist.

CSS code under the cut.

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murder

rank the kids from "would destroy the batmobile in less than 10 minutes if left alone" to "Bruce wouldn't notice for 2 weeks if you took it for a joyride"

Canonically can't drive – Cassandra

Can drive but can't operate the controls – Duke

He's 3 feet tall, that's a fender bender waiting to happen – Damian

Promptly returned it because he felt bad – Cullen

She's 13 – Carrie

Failed her driving test so many times the DMV just gave her a license so she'd stop bothering them – Stephanie

Tried to pull a quick one as an only child so as punishment he's no longer an only child – Dick

Could pilot it remotely while borrowing her neighbor's WiFi – Barbara

Made it halfway to Central City before getting a ticket – Harper

Slowly stole the parts and reassembled it somewhere else, waiting for the opportunity to pull up next to Bruce with his second secret Batmobile – Jason

Leaves it where it normally is but gaslights Bruce into thinking it's gone – Tim