I Miss Him So Much When He’s Away At Work, Especially On Busy Nights Like This...

Told all my friends I was going to bed and ended up having anpanic attack an hour lster with no guts to reach out to anyone :”) I feel like im dying ans my brain is convinced Im dying and I feel two seconds from bursting into tears and calling my FP to have him calm me down..But I wont. Ill just lay here suffering in fear because I just cant bring myself to do things..

I freakin drew this lil comic over a year ago - and never posted it. Hecc. Life imitates art.

I wish I had enough energy to draw more that people would like but aw man. it’s hard being so tired all the time :| 

.....I just want him to hug me and hold me and telll me its okay and everything is alright.. Among other things...But instead of actually messaging him back and telling him this I know I'm going to end up laying here crying to myself because I can't bring myself to do it because I'm afraid...Im a pathetic excuse for a person aren’t I..?

Tonight

when you’re dissociating and someone asks if you are okay so you just

I hate when he holds me or shows me any affection. It feels dirty, wrong, unwanted. Most of the time I ignore it, but when It happens I feel like I’m cheating on you. I suppose that's a funny thought...We’re not even together, but... I still feel like I belong to you. I feel stuck between two worlds. I can’t help these feelings. I am so afraid of it welling up in me and threatening to spill. I’ve never felt a love like this before. I think I’ll love you forever, no matter what happens. You make me so happy. I wish I could tell you just how much you really mean to me... It’s been a while and I wish I knew how you feel about me at this point in time....but I am honestly too scared to attempt to ask at this point. I’m scared it might just be the same answer as before. If it is I would rather not know, and just stay happy in my daydreams. 

you should experience this. via

https://www.vitaminwater.com/hit-refresh-for-exotic-mango-island-pic/and-20fl-oz-of-tropical-oasis/wow/wish-i-was-there/enhanced/e/the-hot-key-is-command-shift-r/electrolytes/be-sure-to-hit-refresh/but-not-too-much/you-have-to-give/the-page-a-chance-to-load/

Creating long continuous daydreams to try and go to sleep: great

Creating long continuous daydreams when you’re bored as fuck trying to pass the time: great

Creating long continuous daydreams on a Friday night and realising you’re single and are fantasising over a fictional world and no one actually cares about you: not so great