Diaryofanagingirl - Diary Of An Aging Girl

Parker Posey in Party Girl (Daisy von Scherler Mayer, 1995)

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ intro °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ pls read!!

tw’s: sh just like my observations, nsft.

i just post whatever. 18 black femme.

i love movies, books, shows + music! i have a LARGE dvd and cd collection and i want to talk to anyone about anything!!! about being a femme4butch lesbian, i want to make lesbian specifically butch and femme friends who are also kind of not typical. also if you like rookie mag interact! cause i love rookie sm. i’m gonna tag the things i like!

i think the blog will probs have nsfw since it’s a diary so anyone under 18 (06) DNI. zionists, fatphobes, edt, men, lesbophobes and homophobes, transphobes DNI

just to make sure, anything i say about butches/studs is within the context that i am respecting them and not denouncing butches to just sexual beings. i love butches + studs beyond being partners, and will always value the friendship. The obvious eroticism in the butchfemme dynamic should not be lost on everyone, i am embracing it not just someone.

this feels so disorganised lol

FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸 and all occupied countries.

i actually DO want the lesbian that’s MUCH older than me.. like very bad like need and want and will break no contact

how can being shy and reserved be unique and good when you strive for and need community? when you want to make more friends, like minded etc, when you want to be intimate with someone?

i guess it’s good when you don’t want to do those things but I DO. i want to engage with people i want to have control on when i speak which includes speaking not just being quiet.

i love being a little freak on tumblr nobody can stop me

thinking about how last year when i was genuinely going through it because of a situationship and how in the midst of it all i was having so much fun and how this year im going THROUGH it and i can’t even blame her.

i think about how it was the first time i really liked someone and that i could see it evolving from simple messages and how i was so forthcoming with what i liked and how much they meant to me. and told them how id appreciate it back but never got that. im so glad its over and i don’t harp on it anymore but its like will someone communicate like how i do.

i want someone to tell me they hate me or that they need me or that they don’t want me. i genuinely don’t care if it’s a negative thing i just would rather it be communicated.

Louise Glück, from “Otis”, Poems 1962 - 2012

Even if I don't end up wifed up to a butch in the future, even if I become an elderly femme with an empty bed and an additional, never sat on chair by the dining table, I will still love butches with my whole heart.

All the same.

Help them, support them, amplify their voices in the community.

Perhaps bake them an apple pie and make them pierogi for dinner with some kompot to drink :']

I ♡ butches.

listening to i’m your man by leonard cohen and i want to be punished by them.. i feel like such a pervert wanting to be hurt during intimacy..

im not sure what’s wrong with me. like i was telling them that i don’t care that they talk to other people.. i dont know why im feeling this all encompassing need to be needed by them or by anyone and i feel like this is gonna ruin me in the future. but like i dont think my need to be hurt is really bad at least i hope not.

i was watching edits of secretary and like in the ideal world i find someone like mr grey, someone who can appreciate the erotic elements of butchfemme as well as respect and wouldn’t make me feel bad about the way i approach sex. because i can see my desperate nature in lee but the way mr grey is so disgusted by himself is ME.