They Should Invent A Butch That Likes Me Back

No one:

Me once a year when I feel particularly nostalgic of my girlhood: ROOKIEMAAAAGgggGGG !!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭

thinking about how last year when i was genuinely going through it because of a situationship and how in the midst of it all i was having so much fun and how this year im going THROUGH it and i can’t even blame her.

i think about how it was the first time i really liked someone and that i could see it evolving from simple messages and how i was so forthcoming with what i liked and how much they meant to me. and told them how id appreciate it back but never got that. im so glad its over and i don’t harp on it anymore but its like will someone communicate like how i do.

i want someone to tell me they hate me or that they need me or that they don’t want me. i genuinely don’t care if it’s a negative thing i just would rather it be communicated.

I WANNA BASH MY HEAD AGAINST A WALL

it actually came the same day lol

and one is too big so now what?

just bought my first s*x toy and i’m petrified if my mom opens my package cause it’s coming tomorrow or that i won’t like it …

being a horny slutty lesbian is one of life’s greatest pleasures

i want to do so much. i know i could be good at some stuff but i choose to sit on my bed with tears and my teddies under my head. i choose to fuck up my life i’m too young to be having an existential crisis

I Got Heaven-Mannequin Pussy

this is what they texted me:

“You just are always so worried about so many things pertaining to talking to me & idk why you’re stressing yourself out so much”

for the last week i’ve been rereading it and like trying to understand how they know me more than my friends.

also the apps are so good for creating community and helping queer people but like at what cost?

i only have tiktok bc of edits and sending them to my friends but i genuinely miss when 2020/2021/22 when i deleted it and had a sense of freedom.

i’m already a very anxious person and an overthinker but lately it feels like everything is fuelling discourse and like they’re so minuscule and normal. it’s like people are fabricating so many fake things in order to fuck people up and the same thing with twitter.

believe it or not in those years that app was like a safer place and funny but ever since elon took over it feels like a deep pit of hell. the butchfemme discourse that goes on the there is another type of hell, mind you i don’t say shit there but it feels like everyone’s regurgitating the same shit to get likes and i hate it. im trying to ween myself off but with the way the world works, these apps seem to be an important part of our lives.

Photo from the Dirt Dyke Dive, Leeds, 2025

Custom carabiner made by J West Engraving (you can order your own here)

📸: Eli Williams