Just Bought My First S*x Toy And I’m Petrified If My Mom Opens My Package Cause It’s Coming Tomorrow

listening to i’m your man by leonard cohen and i want to be punished by them.. i feel like such a pervert wanting to be hurt during intimacy..

im not sure what’s wrong with me. like i was telling them that i don’t care that they talk to other people.. i dont know why im feeling this all encompassing need to be needed by them or by anyone and i feel like this is gonna ruin me in the future. but like i dont think my need to be hurt is really bad at least i hope not.

i was watching edits of secretary and like in the ideal world i find someone like mr grey, someone who can appreciate the erotic elements of butchfemme as well as respect and wouldn’t make me feel bad about the way i approach sex. because i can see my desperate nature in lee but the way mr grey is so disgusted by himself is ME.

i need butch abby anderson biblically it is crazy

genuinely me right now

Party Girl (1995) dir. Daisy Von Scherler Mayer

Stone Butch Blues, Leslie Feinberg

I spent so much time in my twenties convinced that my life was over, that I somehow ruined it beyond repair, that I was doomed to the life I had and nothing more. and now, in my mid thirties, i’m like wow.. this shit has actually just begun! I can and will create the life I want!

Louise Glück, from “Otis”, Poems 1962 - 2012

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ intro °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ pls read!!

tw’s: sh just like my observations, nsft.

i just post whatever. 18 black femme.

i love movies, books, shows + music! i have a LARGE dvd and cd collection and i want to talk to anyone about anything!!! about being a femme4butch lesbian, i want to make lesbian specifically butch and femme friends who are also kind of not typical. also if you like rookie mag interact! cause i love rookie sm. i’m gonna tag the things i like!

i think the blog will probs have nsfw since it’s a diary so anyone under 18 (06) DNI. zionists, fatphobes, edt, men, lesbophobes and homophobes, transphobes DNI

just to make sure, anything i say about butches/studs is within the context that i am respecting them and not denouncing butches to just sexual beings. i love butches + studs beyond being partners, and will always value the friendship. The obvious eroticism in the butchfemme dynamic should not be lost on everyone, i am embracing it not just someone.

this feels so disorganised lol

FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸 and all occupied countries.

please consider checking out my patreon if you can. it is $5, and you get access to around 75k words worth of work. i am having tons of issues with my old bank account i don't have access to and it is overdrawn. i don't have enough to cover the overdrawn amount along with upcoming bills and money for food and gas. i promise it is worth the money, there is so much on there that hasn't been posted for free yet. i am doing very bad mentally and this is something that is not helping in the slightest so please at least consider reblogging if you can't help.

kofi | patreon

i hate acting insane but i’m grounding myself with the fact that this is time to act like it, like yes i can tell the person i like that im only for them yes i can

tw: sh

everytime i’ve talked to someone and the doctors about my mental health they’ve just assumed im a teenage girl who’s going through it and like that it’s regular degular shit and there’s this underlying comment that ‘at least you’re not harming yourself’ WHEN I AM! like yes i am and the marks are visible and my mom literally mentioned how the scars couldn’t be scratches.. like i don’t know how them knowing would help but maybe acknowledging that im not lying when i say i dont want to live would be a start.