I’m Obsessed With Rachel True In Nowhere (1997). I Can’t Tell If I Want To Be Her Or Be With Her

thinking about how i never truly felt like myself or experienced desire until i truly learned what butch and femme meant, it opened up a whole world to me that i had seen but never known, i hold so much gratitude for older butch and femmes but also for the butches, studs, stemmes, and femmes i’ve seen now, who are actively educating younger folks like myself, im so grateful to be able to learn about these identities and realize that, i too, belong

pussy from a girl with a questionable online presence

‘ulla in her room’ (1998) by chloe sherman

i want to be in love with a stud I WANT TO BE IN LOVE like all giddy and all.

uni has been such a weird and alienating experience, granted i’m in my first year and it’s a huge place but it seems like everyone knows eachother and that everything is going smoothly.i went in thinking id make so many friends and feel content with my choices but my mental health has been deteriorating and my doctors (who are male and i swear that has an impact) don’t understand what im trying to say.

🕯️🕯️🕯️i will have a butch boyfriend 🕯️🕯️🕯️

We Are Who We Are, Luca Guadagnino (2020)

this work maintains for every moment that fleetingness that only Guadagnino manages to convey with such complex simplicity. a story that is an epiphany, the slowness of a summer that passes away, slowly letting the first signs of an imminent change emerge. self-rediscovery, mourning, and again the peace of the quiet sky after the storm. the purgatory of an existence lived anywhere except in a place concrete enough to call it home. adolescent desire, contemplation of beauty. there is purity even in the eros, which never falls beyond the veil of vulgarity. in today's cinematographic culture where sexuality, the exaggerated complexity of man and the so-called beauty are mercifully flaunted, Guadagnino gives us everything and nothing. there is simplicity even in the complex world of those who are slowly starting to discover their identity. religion rediscovered after the untimely death of a friend, or perhaps something more. "I'm 19 years old and I'm a widow, crazy right?", there is innocence even in torment and in the guilt of death. loving in the immeasurable and unconditional way of adolescence is also healing oneself from sorrow, protecting oneself from those who are not able to understand us and carrying each other in our pockets. those who have died are not mourned and distance is treated with so little that one doubts the distance itself.

at the end of the show i let The Great Gig In The Sky play in my headphones. war ultimately leads to peace, to silence.

one of the most splendid cinematic pieces I have ever experienced.

i hate when people are nonchalant even when i give them a way out. like im asking you, if you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to but they don’t take it. they’ll still reply with the most blandest shit and it’s not like i want much i just want to have a convo

well. yes!

Stone Butch Blues, Leslie Feinberg