Addiction Is Easy To Develop Bc Once You Know You Have The Option To Use A Substance To Feel Good Instead

is anyone else constantly afraid they’ll be “caught” doing stuff they’re obviously allowed or even supposed to do

I have been trying so hard. To stay strong, to stay smart, to not stare into a spiral and relapse. But my breaks away from hypnosis are getting shorter and shorter each time. The longer I stay away the more want to listen. I always come back again and again, drain my brain again and again. Even just the thought of slipping back makes me wet and needy, makes me want to rub my mind away for hours until I am a drooling dripping mindfucked mess. I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.

To anyone who was suicidal at age 14 or younger, here’s your permission to grieve. Here’s your permission to not joke about it or just flat out ignore it. Here’s your permission to acknowledge that lost child who felt way more pain than any child should ever feel. You’re allowed to cry for that child, whether you healed or are still suffering the same thoughts. Finally allow yourself to grieve for that child filled with undeserved hurt.

“There are many ways to kill. You can stab someone in the guts, take their bread away, not heal someone from disease, put someone in a bad living space, work someone to death, drive them to suicide, lead soemone to war etc. Only few of these are prohibited in our state.”

— Bertolt Brecht (via a-book-dragon)

everytime i say something, even when it's to ask for help, i get ignored or the subject changed on me

and i have to sit idly by and listen and keep my mouth shut

while my blood boils under my skin