Alien: You’re telling me that in times of great distress humans have been known to suddenly gain the strength necessary to lift objects more than a dozen times their own weight?!
Human: Yeah, it’s called “hysterical strength” and it usually happens in life-or-death situations, like when someone gets stuck under a car or something and someone lifts the car to get them out. We can’t really test it though, ‘cause it only happens spontaneously.
Alien: Humans have the ability to tap into untold strength and power and you don’t even know how you do it?
Human: Pretty much, yeah. We think it has something to do with temporary analgesia, so we just don’t feel the pain we should when we pick up a 3000-pound car.
Alien: YOUR PAIN RESPONSE JUST SHUTS OFF?
Human: Yeah, it’s like an adrenaline thing? Do you not have that?
Alien: Fuck you and your entire species of tiny juggernauts.
Do any other neurodivergents ever get yelled at because they used the wrong tone of voice and didn’t realize it? Like I was asking mom a genuine question and I just got yelled at because she thought I was being rude and sarcastic. Like… No? Please answer my question?
Things that have happened on my bus · Some was watching Dragon ball Z, he was really fat and acne ridden. Hes in 5th grade… · A 8th grader brought a juul on the bus and blew smoke in someone face for calling them a hoe · we have things called ‘30 seconds’ or '60 seconds’ where kids on good terms fight in the back of the bus for 30 or 60 seconds at a time. there was once a leaderboard and a 6 grader won last year. ·Some kid played porn really loud on his bluetooth speakers. Some kid got a blowjob and ate a 8 grader out (he was 7th) ·some other kid decided to smoke his homework… As in light his homework and take hits of it… ·I do random peoples homework for money (my regulars are top of the class) · Some people stood up on the seats when the bus driver wasnt looking and flashed his girlfriend (and the entire bus) · and how could we forget the time soem kid climbed out of a window on the ride to school Thats it… More to come soon about my demon school
WOMEN👏CAN👏BE👏RAPISTS👏TOO👏AND👏THEY👏SHOULD👏SUFFER👏THE👏SAME👏CONSEQUENCES👏AS👏MALE👏RAPISTS👏NO👏EXCEPTIONS👏
(Chris Traiger voice.) “This is litrally THE most interesting slice of information to have ever entered my synapses.”
Or,
“What the FUCK is this demonic shit? No wonder Newton was a FUCKING virgin.”
And there is no in between.
Man human imprinting is crazy. My friend’s roomba zoomed by me and I got this intense urge to reach down and pat it. Like it’s just a machine? But it’s a good boy? It spends all day cleaning and sleeping and exploring the house and never complains and it’s just so good little robot? Pet robot?? Pet the robot????? Why am I like this???
It’s never their fault.