I have an english exam tomorrow.. Does reading english Hyun ju x reader smut fanfictions cout as studying?
I need her so bad it's not even funny!
I can take her! (not in a fight)
Seven days a week or whatever Jungkook said!
But something feels off.. Oh nevermind! It's my pants!
Me:
especially *insert all of them *
she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
Girlhood,
Girlhood is doing your friends makeup, girlhood is giving a random girl who needs it a pad, girlhood is sharing a bond over music tastes, girlhood is swapping drinks with your friend, girlhood is not judging another girl for her embarrassing moments, girlhood is standing up for your friend, girlhood is sharing food with your friend, girlhood is sharing lipgloss, girlhood is sisterhood, sisterhood with someone you have no blood relation to but still feel a connection too, girlhood is having a connection to another girl without knowing her, girlhood is care.
Girlhood 🎀🐰🤍
Girl activities
biting your nails
wondering how many bodies are hidden in your hometowns hills and forests
laying naked in bed tracing your scars
daydreaming about your future
pretending to look mysterious and read in front of your cafe crush
wondering what you would look like 50 lbs lighter than trying to decide if you want to relapse or not
brushing your hair with vintage silver hair brushes than wondering who all the women were who brushed their hair with it before you
writing poetry at 4 am
falling in love with your best friend
cleaning your room on a sunday
picking at your skin in the mirror till your whole face is red and swollen
daydreaming about bleaching your hair
cuddling your dog
remembering your dreams while sitting on the shower floor
watching movies, reading books, and watching shows, pondering the stories and characters and fantisizing about your life being like those stories
if you can't get rid of it, you might as well romanticise it, right?
lying awake on hot summer nights and listening to a sad girl playlist
sitting by the ocean or lake while looking melancholic
collecting sea shells and other little trinkets to look at
reading ancient philosophy and russian literature in public
strolling around your neighbourhood and befriending stray cats
eating way too much fruit
thinking about the fig tree
watching the moon and staying up until sunrise
mourning your non-existent summer romance
wired headphones
getting really good at making iced coffees
watching sad summer movies
writing poetry on postcards that you will never send
taking lots of Polaroids of mundane things
crying
I myself have been dealing with what I like to call "the summer blues" so I felt like writing something like this, I hope it resonates with some of you!! As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions and tips in the comments! <3
love ya ・:*₊‧✩
NO LAWNMOWER COULD TAKE AWAY THE HEAD I WOULD GIVE HIM! 🔥