Who Are Asexuals 😔

last night i had a dream that i was playing minecraft and i noticed i had 77 blocks of cobblestone in one slot instead of it being capped at 64 and it was so jarring to me that it literally booted me out of the dream. like sure you can fly now and your childhood home is a pharmacy but 77 pieces of cobblestone? unthinkable. wake the fuck up.

"If tampons should be free, then so should my diabetes meds."

Yes? Yes they should be? Your life-saving medication that you need in order to live for a condition you were born with should be given to you at no cost?

aesthetics are hard. how am i supposed to be happy as a hardcore grunge skater girl if i keep watching mlp and mia and me everynight!!!

Post divorce meeting

i want a sitcom about a psychic who can see crimes before they happen so they work for the police and while working there she meets a skeptical young officer{ill call her cop 1} and slowly they fall in love with each other and have brunch and stay up late together watching horror movies while the cop is like "okay slitting a throat would not produce that much blood" and they dye each others hair and the cops older brother is also a cop {cop 2} and he's even more skeptical. but the psychic dyes the officers hair pink and the officer dyes the psychics hair black, and staying up so late has made the psychic have dark eye circles and a pale face, and they have a sense of humor that's just a smidge too dark. and then cop 2 gets really suspicious of the psychic because he predicted something slightly off and her backstory just doesn't add up to her resume and you start to realise all these murders and arsons were somehow tied to cop 1s enemies and childhood bullies and then its revealed that the psychic has been stalking cop 1 for 3 years and has been committing the crimes herself in order to make cop 1 fall in love with her

me: im not really an ocd kinda person

also me: *clenches teeth on beat with the road lines as they hit the bottom of the windshield while driving*

YALL I JUST REALISED EDWARD CULLEN WAS ALIVE JURING THE 70'S WHICH MEANS TO BLEND IN HE WAS PROBABLY SPORTING LONG BRAIDED HAIR AND FUCKING FLARES

CAN YOU IMAGINE

that sounds good!

{no dont ever fucking talk to me again if i see you in public ill turn into a toad and hop into your bag and shit in there}

As an alternative to 'sugar, spice, and everything nice'

I present: 'salt, vinegar, and everything sinister'