Have I Been Indoctrinated

ALL OF THOSE EVIL SCIENTISTS HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO CONDUCT RESEARCH! Don’t they understand if you use the SAME PERSON for the ‘creating a mutant creature’ test AND the ‘cryostasis for 100 years’ test it’s GOING TO SKEW THE RESULTS!!!!! NO im not “above average tolerance for humans” you SPLICED my dna with a goblin shark, raven, therizinosauraus, and that undercooked spaghetti noodle you found on the ground, OF COURSE my data is wrong! And don’t get me STARTED on the poor sap who got ‘injected with random needles’ and ‘see how fast he can complete a maze’! Idiots!

Caught in 4k

Welp….this AU has consumed my life lol

And if you don’t know already this AU belongs to the amazing, talented, and wonderful @babyblankyerror

2 plus 4 is uh 6 oh 7 and 8, 3 765 15 uhh 65.

Even better: it actually kills bill and everything goes back to normal.

au where in response to the end of the world and his family being missing for days stan says fuck it and decides to roll the infinity die

… anyway I got bald flowey-

you have to share an apartment with the 4th character in your camera roll for 3-4 years.

Dude why my Dorito making a ruckus

Meningitis.

I don’t really want to be a girl but I’m not transgender because boy sounds way worse but I’m not neither and or slash in between because that’s not right so I have concluded that I must be an Eldrich horror beyond human comprehension or a deep sea isopod and there is no in-between

“I once brought up mothman in class and you could see him get visibly angry and say ‘don’t play poker with him’ before muttering something about 10 dollars. He then disappeared for, like, 5 days and when he came back he had a giant moth antenna and ten dollars sitting on his desk. 5/5 dunno what his deal is but I’m pretty certain he could kill god.”

Hc that Ford gets a job at a local community college as a physics prof after he and Stan are done sailing around the world and fulfills his destiny as the eccentric professor he was always meant to be

And he quickly gains a reputation amongst the stem students as That Professor

I bet his ratemyprof reviews would be insane:

“He didn’t grade any of our homework until the end of the semester, but he brought something called a ‘plaidypus’ to class and let us pet it. Her name was Dorothy. 5/5”

“He constantly ranted about how ‘triangles are the most untrustworthy shape’ whatever that means. Also he doesn’t know how to use the internet. I hated his class. 5/5”

And many more iterations of “this guy is terrible. 5 stars”

Ah yes. I’m so glad my favorite snack finally has a healthier option.