Cryptidgemstones - Skate Fast Eat Grass

cryptidgemstones - Skate Fast Eat Grass

More Posts from Cryptidgemstones and Others

3 years ago

I agree with that-house

current mood: general grievous (2003 cartoon version)

bestie that is bootleg hoard prime


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3 years ago
Another Piece For That Art Assignment I Was Talking About The Other Day

another piece for that art assignment i was talking about the other day


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3 years ago
You Can Only Reblog This Today.

You can only reblog this today.

3 years ago

is spamton a tumblr sexyman

i wouldnt say a sexyman but he sure is something


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3 years ago

listen. tumblr could not more obviously be dying before our eyes. in the span of like two months they have made 4 desperate bids for money. now i think it goes without saying that if tumblr is your primary social media in 2022 you probably aren’t delighted by the identical interface algorithm focused format of every other app out there.

now imagine you’re staff. you know this. you don’t want tumblr to go under either. so you post one payment option. you roll it out clumsily, a user gets death threats for it, it’s a bit of a mess, like things usually are around here. but you learn. the next two are announced properly, in advance. and yet still near every single comment on posts about them is mocking, denouncing the very idea for both entirely made up reasons or valid criticism that gets buried under the tidal wave of disgust.

despite all that, you must be doing something right bc there are new users coming in. you know that because every day you see posts trying to push them away or bragging about how hostile the environment is around here

you start selling merch, losing all pretense of trying to make money as a website, clearly grasping at straws to pay for the servers. every comment on the rebloggable adds is negative. they’re mocking the price, the designs, the very idea of tumblr merch. they say shit like ‘no one will pay 25$ for a t-shirt with a tiny logo’ as if people don’t pay thousands for t shirts with tiny logos. so much of it doesn’t even feel like honest criticism, just people playing on the running joke that haha staff is useless and tumblr is badly run. but 1. these are neither a faceless evil corporation nor your friends, you can’t be horrid to them and expect them to be in on the joke. 2. if it’s so bad here please tell me where the fuck ever else online is better. no really. the blog search function here sucks, sure. please tell me what other social media even has one? and 3. the clothes are 100%cotton like that’s already miles above the usual quality for these things. if you’ve ever paid for licensed merch from the disney corporation i don’t want to hear a single peep from you against these.

so imagine working at tumblr. seeing all this, do you think ‘wow what a loyal userbase, worth fighting for and able to help us save this website’? or do you see a bunch of cynical shits who clearly couldn’t care less, and aren’t worth saving if they can’t appreciate what they have.

if you’re ok with tumblr dying or can’t help, that’s fine. but if you aren’t, please stop making it seem like you hate it here.

3 years ago

This post was made by Kit Fisto

master plo deserves to be sluttier i think


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3 years ago
[IMAGE ID: A Banner For #UnwhitewashTBB. The Top Says "Star Wars Is For Everyone." In Black With A Yellow

[IMAGE ID: A banner for #UnwhitewashTBB. The top says "Star Wars is for everyone." in black with a yellow background. In the center of the Star Wars wrap-around logo is "Respect fans of color / Respect Jewish fans / Respect disabled fans". The bottom banner is light blue, and #UnwhitewashTBB is in black on top of it. /end ID]

If you can't think of what to say, but want to show your support for #UnwhitewashTBB, you can post this image anywhere you would like!

2 years ago
cryptidgemstones - Skate Fast Eat Grass

Stiill using screen shots bc why not

In my last, post I talked about my headcanon for this NPC/ oc I'm calling Sour Cream Cookie. So, I'm making a part 2. Context, he's Clotted Cream's bio father.

So like I said in last Post, Sour Cream was saved after being lost at sea for 22 years by Captain Caviar. He was told of what was happening in Creme Republic.

So imagine with me, this guy, hearing that his OWN WIFE had to remarry to save his only child from a life of hardship, and not allow her to see them!!! He was furious, with a mix of guilt of not being there.

So Sour Cream goes home, amazed by everything he sees, since the Republic was a simple town when he left that refugees were still retreating to.He storms into the Lyceum, disrupting the meeting of the Elders.

Skit I thought of ( Inspired by @queen-rainy-love , check their stuff out!)

*In the Lyceum, the Council of Elder were having a meeting with Clotted Cream when the doors swings open*

??: * kicks the door open* *smiles* Anyone missed me??

The elders look on in shock and horror as the stranger walks in, covered in dirt and a bit caked up salt. His worn-out shoes leaving bits of mud as he walked around*

??: My my, things have really changed since I've been gone!! This once small township turns into a great and glorious Republic!! Sad I missed it!!

Sable: Ahh?? Who are you?

??: *chuckles, pushes up his broken glasses* Hehe, I guess my look has changed after a long time, hasn't it?"

Custard: *annoyed* This is a private meeting, you are allowed to be here!! Who sent you in ??

Captain Caviar: *Walks in, takes his seat* I did, sorry I'm late, had to check on one of my ships. And you may want to hear the guy out.

??: Thank you, Caviar. Now was I? Oh right. *bows* I am Sour Cream Cookie, the forgotten heir of House Scone.

Vanilla Sugar: This is preposterous!! Sour Cream cookie has been dead for years!

Sour Cream: I feel pretty alive to me. And Mulled, I appreciate you keeping my notes safe since I've gone. The airship you created is amazing!

Mulled Juice: I....

Clotted Cream: * a bit annoyed* Look sir, you've been in here long enough. I think it's time you leave- *is hugged by Sour Cream*

Sour Cream: *looks at him, shocked* My son.. Look at you.. all grown up.

Clotted Cream: I...Um...

Sour Cream: *lets go* Where is your mother? Where's Light Cream?

Clotted Cream: *confused* W-wait, how do you..?

Custard: *stands up* Guards!! Get this lunatic out of here!!

*two guards come out and begin to drag out Sour Cream on the Lyceum, when Light Cream runs in*

Light Cream: Wait!!! *crying* Sour Cream, is that you?

Sour Cream: *looks, shoves the guards off and hugs Light Cream* My love!!!

*Light Cream hugs him back, now sobbing. Sour Cream ran his fingers through her hair*

Light Cream: *sniffles* You're alive... You're truly alive...

Sour Cream: *smiles* I am, My love. I'm so sorry for being gone for so long..

*As the elders watch in shock, Clotted Cream walked over to the two reunited lovers. He was very confused. Who was this guy?*

Clotted Cream: Mother? How do you know him?

Light Cream: *smiles* Clotted... This is your father, Sour Cream Cookie.

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cryptidgemstones - Skate Fast Eat Grass
Skate Fast Eat Grass

Multifandom disaster | artist, writer and professional shitposter

192 posts

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