I Feel Like Bruce Wayne Is The Only Man I'd Be Ok With

minimum wage needs to be $1000 an hour. rent needs to be $10. groceries need to be $2 total. and i need a back massage that ends in me getting my back blown the Hell out

not entirely sure on how all of the bats would react but i personally feel like jason would very likely pull a gun on a karen (assuming that it's a karen pulling the freak out). for example:

karen (being kicked out of a mcdonald's or smth and screaming her head off): HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME, GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!!!!!

jason, actively on patrol assuming this is a mugging or something and plopping down behind the mcdonald's security guard and pulling his gun: alright buddy, take your hands off of her

security guard: gladly, i'm just trying to get her to leave. she just threw a drink at the cashier

jason:

jason, turning to aim the gun at her with a death glare for wasting his time at 2 am: welp, you heard him. leave before i fucking shoot you.

of course he wouldn't actually shoot her but she doesn't know that

You guys know those public freakout videos, right?? How do you think the batfam would realistically react in a situation like that. Just as an example I guess, one day they're patrolling, and they hear someone in trouble--Though, it turns out to be someone losing their mind because they didn't get their way or something. Cause, I feel like that would be something they could run into??

Thoughts?

Imagine if Bruce came home from his 6-10 years of training with Ra’s etc and tried to hide it from Alfred. As in genuinely tried to conceal his plan, identity, and new quirks from the one man who knows him. And Alfred isn’t stupid, he knows something happened for Bruce to be gone so long and to come back this different — but dressing up as a Bat and fighting crime doesn’t exactly leap to mind right away. He probably thought Bruce was on a suicide mission to avenge his parents or something equally destructive. Because he’s so calm and detached and there’s scars and knuckles on his hands that a budding Buddhist / hipster traveler shouldn’t have.

Batman: I have decided I will reveal my identity to one person

Justice League: !!!!

Batman: *walks over to Green Arrow*

Green Arrow: Wait wha-

*Hot steamy make-out session right in front of the League. Jaws are dropped, Superman’s eyes are red, there’s tongue*

Green Arrow: … huh

Batman: *raises an eyebrow* Do you understand?

Green Arrow: *now completely aware that Batman is Bruce Wayne due to how many make-outs the two of them have had over the years* Surprisingly yes

Justice League: ?!?!?!

Batman: That’s all *sweeps out of the room with a dramatic flare of his cape*

giant millipedes are so freaking cute I need one I love silly bugs ( ´ ▽ ` )

why not

Diversity win! The horniest person you know is on the asexual spectrum

permit office: sending one of their own men to exile to cause chaos and unrest in an attempt to justify the existence of the permit office and the poepoe

cleo: riding a horse for 4 days straight on the nether roof to quit exile out of pure spite

doc and xisuma: traveling to and from exile to sell things/help the exiled hermits

the rest of the server: hiding their beds, creating bunkers, doing their best to not get exiled

meanwhile, mumbo: fan go whirrrrrrrrr