Inaccurate Batfam Quotes #5

inaccurate Batfam quotes #35

The Batboys Ranked for how rebellious they are.

Starting at number one: Timmy Drakeson.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Isn't Jason the most rebellious?" No. No he is not. Timmothy fucking Drake is a powerhouse of untapped chaos and a goldmind of comedic genius, just look at the iconic Truth or Dare pannel where he was dared to take off his mask. He did so and underneath his mask, was another mask. Secndly, he doesn't give a shrap about the "Protect ID" rule. Also, he was the one that diliberatly went out of his way to find out Batmans Identity by stalking him and taking lots of photos, sneaking out at night and throwing himself into fights even just to get information. Plus, he 100% discreetly shares Batmans weaknesses to the rest of the league because it's "unfair for him to have a strategic plan against them without them having some way to get through to him".

Number two: Terry McGinnis.

Need I say more? If there's anyone who dislikes supers more than Bats himself, it's this guy. But Duke is ok in his book.

Number Three: Dick Grayson.

He left the fam and even the mantle of Robin, which meaned so much to him, to find his own path and had diliberatly made it so that Bruce knew him leaving was all his fault. He even neglected his own "Brothers" somewhat because he didn't want to see that man up until Jason died.

Speaking of, Number four: Jason Todd.

To be Honest, not that rebellious. Sure, he's kinda edgy, but it's a good look for him. Really good. Do I simp for Todd? Hell yes, I do. The actions that lead to him going burserk honestly, not his fault. He was hyped up on the glorified pool water and felt betrayed from the very people who took him in. He understood that when one robin leaves, another steps up because Bruce has issues with the 'sad orphan eyes'. He just can't help himself. But the Laz made his views boggled so he went cray. A good kind of Cray. I don't blame him for being upset about the ordeal. I'd slap the shit outta Bruce.

Okay so hear me out... Five: Alfred.

We all love our main man, glue of the family butler. But on multiple occasions Alfie has stated he would violate the "no kill rule" to protect his charges and honestly, what a King. Pop off, Pennyworth. He loves Bruce, but he puts this grown man in time out and I don't blame him. the guy makes questionable moral decisions and that's coming from a diagnosed psychotic. We stan Alfie✨

Number Six: Damian.

We all know that this little boy got some mommy issues here and some daddy issues there, but honestly when it comes down to it, he's pretty obedient. He has the sass levels of a litterate XBox gamer and the backbone of a snake. you tell him to do something in that stern dad voice and he'll cuss you out on the way to do it. Honestly, best boy. I love him lots. And guys, stop making his character so serious. You need to check yourself on his analysis cause honEE this boy cracks jokes 24/7, likes to poke fun at people and on multiple occasions tried to make superboy, the actually serious fluff roll, swear.

Number SeVeN, Last but certainly not least: Duke Heckin' Thomas.

Our local cinnimon roll™. Not only is he badass, but he's cute and lovable too. Duke is one of those teens that don't really care if it's this way or that. He's kinda on the quiet side unless you engage in conversation with him directly and I mean, come on. Just read any comic with him in it and I guarentee you will fall in love. Just- yEs. Even though he's the only one in his family with superpowers, he stays humbled and is kinda like everyones voice of reason. Seriously, he's so underrated and I love him with all my heart.

Inaccurate Flashfam quotes #2

Bart Allen: Okay, this is it. I'm battling a Evil supervillain trying to kill me and probably my worstest enemy.

Bart's mind: Make casual conversation and playful banter the entire time.

Bart:

Bart: Let's do it.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #10

Dick: Last night was a mistake and we must agree to never speak of it ever again.

Tim: Okay.

Jason: What happened last night?

Dick: No.

Tim: ...

Dick: Tim... Don't.

Tim: But...

Dick: Tim...

Tim: ...I saw Dick at the men's club.

Jason: Okay?

Tim: He was on the pole.

Jason: oh.

Dick: If you wake up glued to the ceiling, no one will help you.

Jason: I would help.

Dick: You'd join him.

Damian: I would laugh.

Dick: I know you would, Damian.

*In the middle of a briefing*

Batman: Our target is a man by the name of Percy Dunn, he's the gangs runner and will be the most likely lead to the main operation.

Bart: Percy Dunn? The Lightning Thief.

Tim: That's Percy Jackson, Bart.

He looks like he’s about to challenge me to a duel and pull all 5 Exodia cards on my ass

Heart of the cards!!

Bartober 2023 Day 25

Shazam: [First time meeting the league] oh my god this is so cool!! Tell me everything! What are all of your powers?! I mean, I know Superman is like, indestructible and can fly, and Wonder Woman is super strong and invincible, and Aquaman can talk to fish-

Aquaman: That's not-

Shazam: -and Green Lantern can create stuff, and Flash is super fast, and Batman has super strength too-

Superman: Actually, Batman doesn't have powers.

Shazam:

Shazam: Yeah he does. He's a superhero.

Flash: Nope. He's just a regular dude in a bat costume.

Wonder Woman: He's very competent though.

Wonder Woman: [quietly] compared to certain other heroes at least

Green Lantern: [offended] Hey!

Shazam: But- But how does he fight bad guys?

Flash: He punches them with his human fists and then blows them up with expensive weaponry

Shazam: That's insane! How is he not DEAD?!

Green Lantern: That's what we keep asking ourselves

Shazam: But how does he get to the bad guys if he can’t fly and doesn't have super speed?

Aquaman: Well, sometimes he catches a ride with someone else

Shazam: ...are you telling me Batman piggy back rides into battle?

Green Lantern: [straight faced] It's the only way he rides.

Shazam: Wait, what about Robin? His side kick? He has powers right?

Superman: uh, no not really.

Shazam:

Green Lantern: Only one of the Gothamites have superpowers

Shazam: Wait, you let normal children fight villains?

Superman: WE don't.

Shazam: So you, a league of superheroes, can't stop ONE powerless human from letting kids fight mutant supermonsters?

The League:

Superman: Look, he's very convincing.

Aquaman: Incredibly persuasive

Green Lantern: There was a power point presentation involved

Same tho👌👌 I'm always hit with them Hamilton existential crisis'

“what do you think about when you daydream or get distracted?”

nothing. my head is just a running loop of the hamilton original cast recording

Jason and Bart tropes #3

Jason doesn't like metas or people with abnormal capabilities too much because they rely on their powers, but Bart doesn't.

Bart grew up in virtual reality, being constantly experimented on and watched by scientist assholes without his knowledge. He also grew up in the Apocalypse, or what was considered one. So he knew what it was like to be completely powerless and live normal, or as normal as you can get in a back-water, end of the world, totalitarianism planet. Even when he was rescued by his mom and Iris plus sent back in time to keep him safe, he was trained by all of LAPD and Tim Drake in combat, on the chance that he lost his speed again. It came in handy later on when he did lose his speed in the battle against the Rouges and his clone, Thad. And then his mentor Max Mercury taught him to slow things down and live in the present, that not everything is about speed and how fast you can do something, but how well you do it. So as you can assume, Bart is always alert. Probably why he's so jumpy. He never knows what to expect and thus he expects everything, cause with his powers he's able to predict every possible outcome in a situation. He also uses it to his advantage and He's memorized the complete human nervous system (talk about Crash).

That's probably why Jason likes him so much; even with his powers, Bart expects to be jumped any moment. (Likes in headcanon, of course, but c'mon you can't tell me he wouldn't)