Cowboythethird - Stay Fresh Cheese Bags

the hot usurper queen npc my dm made (that my pc is now romancing)

i love her design (much respect to my wonderful dm)

marauders fandom: how dare you separate sirius and the deadbeat dad werewolf who never trusted each other?????

Mauraders fandom: Sirius would quite literally die for James and even kill for James

Mauraders fandom: James trusts Sirius the most with his life and the lives of his family

Mauraders fandom: they are so codependent they would literally stop functioning if they weren't around each other

Mauraders fandom: what they have something deeper than best friends, their love transcends even soulmates

Me: nice, oh so we're so shipping them right?

Mauraders fandom: ew what the fuck, no, that's literal incest, what is wrong with you???

Me: wha-you said they were bestfriends???

Mauraders fandom: they are platonic!! Brotherly!! Incest?? How could you ship them?? There's no romance!! Nothing is between them!!

Me: ???

Propaganda I'm not falling for:

Ravenclaw Emmeline

Slytherin Barty

Dumb twink Sirius

Forced/unwilling death eaters Regulus, Evan, and Barty

Pandora being a seer

Any of the Black family having a healthy relationship with each other (bar Alphard)

Alphard being a bad uncle to Andi or Sirius

Abusive father Barty Sr.

The slytherin skittles

JKR being a good person/right about anything

Cho Chang's name being Cho Chang

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

someones coming alright….

this was @ taylordaisies on tiktok, i jus cropped for better viewing

people forget lily was like “snaaaape, your blood supremacist friends just attacked a muggle born girl :( why do u hang with them” five minutes before snapes worst memory

like girl why were you putting up with a guy whos besties with people who literally want you dead

i love lily, but let “kind” be her fault as well. she held onto people to her own detriment

the author said lily was falling for james during the time of snapes worst memory cuz he was the cool popular kid that teased her

she was the biggest “i can fix him” ever

also YES i need self serving snape who isnt a blood supremacist, but is just selfish and disadvantaged so he sides with people who will protect his interests no matter the cost

and apathetic final boss sirius who thinks hes better than everyone for being a black and only does things that entertain him

i need james that loves hard but also is a fucking asshole because his parents doted on him and told him he can never do any wrong

i love the characterization of james parents as perfect, but lets be serious (black), they raised james. theyd 100% be the parents called to the proncipals office cuz theyre kid pulled a girls hair and be like “no thats not my boy, youve got it wrong”

really do hate how characters are being stripped of characteristics that make them interesting in the first place.

Remus ran away from his problems, he was a coward, he never stood up for himself because he comes from a disadvantaged position. He can never be brave, my guy was grateful he was even allowed to go to hogwarts. That's also why he's so blindly loyal to Dumbldore, of course he feels indebted grateful towards him.

My Remus would never be this confident cocky Casanova guy people depict him as?? You guys know we can have conventionally unattractive characters right?? Not everyone has to be self assured, we have cocky Sirius and James already.

Literally where are the fics where he's so scarred he's ugly, has a bad leg, uses a cane, has chronic pains???

he wanted to break away from the past and yet he's simultaneously attached to it as well. He literally can't move on (not reporting Sirius' animagus form??) but makes no moves to get closer with Harry.

REMUS IS A LOSER AND WE LOVE HIM FOR THAT.

Like he's clearly a complicated character and literally everything that makes him interesting is taken away to put him in this macho daddy role.

How do y'all say you guys like this fanon version of Remus when canon Remus was so much more interesting?? Do you guys even like Remus??

You can have your headcanons where Sirius is dressed up in skirts, wearing make up, I don't mind gender something Sirius! (It fits his whole rebel thing for me) But when he's wearing anything that literally isn't punk or goth, like stockings, shirts that "swallow him up", no. Or worse, if he's so short, so skinny and twinkified in order to push this submissive bottom agenda that some wolfstar tend to do, oh my god then I have a problem.

Why can no one ship them with equal heights if you don't like their canon height difference?? Do y'all not want tall Sirius black AND tall Remus lupin?? I DO GIVE ME EQUAL HEIGHTS. It genuinely freaks me out when one of them is ridiculously short.

I don't even care for the whole masculine tall dark handsome character that he canonically was but...to twinkify him..??? When he's probably the literal blueprint for fanon Remus now??

Sirius that is emotional, irrational, whiny, overdramatic?? Who?? Yeah it's fine when it's on occasion because it certainly does add flavor to his character plus comedic relief but lets not make that his whole personality? Where's the Sirius black that gave 0 fucks about everything!! "I wish it was a full moon", his reason for The Prank, his general idgaf attitude after escaping Azkaban!! Like he was a proper apathetic menace and y'all need to write him that way more.

And together, femboy sub Sirius x masc dom "the rational one" is the worst thing that happened to wolfstar, literally everything dimensional about it is gone and it's just...a regular mlm ship.

James sunshine potter. I fear I am guilty of liking James that's only ever nice to people but please. Make him cruel. Where's the guy that threatened lily, the guy that treated severes the way he did?

I'm all for sunshine potter but we don't have to erase the shitty things he did. The guy that kept being shitty because he knew he was getting away with it. It makes him interesting, how he is capable of such viciousness while being the sunshine character??

He even sees the world in black and white and yet he's so awful?? Like I genuinely can't understand this guy and it makes him beautiful.

If anything I should be seeing more Slytherin James but I barely see any of that?? Bro was cunning

Lily, and I know how much the fandom is protective over her but please fucking admit she's a character with flaws. Jily should've never happened because of James' cruelty towards Snape. Yet it did because Lily is a flawed character that got with his ex best friends bully.

Yes lily doesn't owe Severus shit after the mudblood incident but she can do that by...not defending him?? NOT getting with his friend??

James threatened her, SAed Snape, and she was there to witness this among several other things he did. She was Sev's best friend, she'd know personally how being bullied made him feel.

But one slur word and those years of friendship, the loyalty is thrown away and she gets with James Potter. Yes, girl boss, but she's also cruel. Make her capable of cruelty, no need to make a complete empath!!

Low-key, y'all need to give Snape fans an apology cause y'all out here making up stories that glorify fanon Regulus when Snape has canonically done more things for harry while serving cunt.

Like please, let's not forget that Snape is the exact opposite of being masculine too, he is very capable of being an actual LGBTQ icon whereas the mauraders are the furthest thing from that.

If you want LGBTQ icon mauraders, who canonically made fun of Snape for being less masculine, why the hell aren't you doing the same for Snape?? Why in the world is he being written as some creepy homophobic incel??

Also please give him credit, he's fucking funny. He took over for Remus, assigned students to think of ways of killing werewolves and made Remus mark them. He's PETTY, he did not let that Prank slide.

He's such a beautifully grey character, where his FANS don't even want to call him a good character or an evil one because he's that grey. And all of you stripped off the good parts of him and just made him a boring evil characters. Like bro, c'mon.

And regulus. He's literally just a mix Sirius and Snape. There's nothing badass or cunty about him?? Literally anyone can tell he takes after sirius or Snape.

If you want an original character, please reference canon. He's so much more tragic that way.

I don't care if he grew up abusive, was fed blood supremacist bullshit and believed it, groomed to take part in a cult only to realize violently afterwards that he didn't like it there. If I wanted to read about that id read the books and focus on Snape.

I don't care that he was petty, was a boss bitch, did badass things and gave 0 fucks about the people around because that's literally just Sirius.

He's tragic because he tried to be a hero and failed. he was always going to fail, he was always too naive, he was never going to amount to anything and that makes him tragic and much more interesting. He was on the path for reform and didn't have enough time.

It's like you guys switched up canon Severus and canon regulus, it's actually annoying, give these characters justice.

Everyone, mauraders, lily and Snape, all of them are so grey it actually hurts, and yet they keep getting pushed into these labeled boxes like what.

~

YES, my favourite thing about TLT is that ALL the characters are described as kinda ugly in some way (except corona and alecto)

sometimes I'll see fanart of harrow where she's like a sexy bone goddess. NO. it's very important to convey that harrow is a bone gremlin, and the only sexy thing about her is how emotionally unavailable she is

My take on the Marauders

I'm a Marauders era fan. MY take on what it should be

Sirius Black- is the tallest (Well over 6 foot), maybe one or two tattoos, black hair above his shoulders, doesn't simp over Remus and can easily do anything without him, one of the smartest in the school, hell of a dark humor, dark looks, VERY popular, has many flaws, but is still the best, prefers James over anyone, one of the hottest in the school, reckless

James Potter- not as tall as over 6 foot, like 5,10 or 5,11 (Like Harry), one of the smartest in the school, popular, not constantly asking Lily out or assaulting her

Remus Lupin- quiet, coward, tries to keep to himself, good at quidditch, but doesn't play, isn't the school's Casanova, not the hottest guy, a bit below average or such, not over 6 foot, not the smartest in the school (Like average or just above), doesn't swear like a sailor, doesn't have anger issues, isn't an asshole, not a tattoo type of guy

Peter Pettigrew- most likely more popular than Remus, is included, not hated by his friends, not a bitch to his friends, doesn't act like his adult self

Lily Evans- isn't Hermione 2.0, she does swear occasionally, is able to beat someone's ass, rightfully hates Snape and the other Slytherins or blood supremacists, strong, smart (Not as much as James and Sirius though

Regulus Black- not a twink, isn't a crybaby who constantly cries about Sirius (They probably threaten each other and use death threats until Pandora and James are like 'Oi, wtf'), tall, not as much as Sirius, but probably James' height and maybe taller

Walburga Black- doesn't use unforgivable curses on her kids, doesn't physically abuse them. I hope you guys know that emotion abuse exists. DOES spoil her kids, puts expectations on them, but does praise them about being the Black heir, she's the reason they're so bloody hot

The others aren't so bad (But they still have bad characterization)

The Slytherins are not softies. It was the 70's, LGBT wasn't s respected, though there could be a few gay kisses and other stuff. They don't have so many tattoos that it covers their whole body, there's nothing wrong with that, it's just that there's pure bloods and they're still in Hogwarts. Sirius is TALL. He has dark humor, is capable of doing stuff himself, did NOT regret the prank.

The Prank- Sirius openly said (And to Remus) that Snape got what was coming to him for the prank, I bet there wasn't a whole angst thing where they ignored Sirius. James would NEVER do that. Remus was a coward; he probably forgave Sirius very easily (Though he couldn't trust him), they probably laughed about it in the dorms.

Wolfstar- It's one of the biggest ships. I don't ship it or see the appeal. Though I'm not going to hate or tell anyone to stop, but there's so much evidence that Remus and Sirius were toxic to each other (I'm going to say it all in a different post). Sirius and Remus can live without each other perfectly fine. It was James that Sirius couldn't live without. Though you guys can ship whatever you want (But please no pro-ships), but also. ATYD is NOT canon. The writing is brilliant, it must've taken a god long time, it's great. BUT. The characterization is completely off, the girls are barely there, even Snape is wrong (Still hate his guts though).

Also, I know SOME fans are going to come to my house with pitch forks. THOSE FANS, you can come and suck my nonexistent DIC- (I'm a woman). ALSO, I'm not homophobic for saying stuff about gay not being as active in the marauder's era, there were probably SOME, but I'm lesbian, so I can't be homophobic. And to THOSE fans, I know it's not real, but I don't have a life, and I like being a part of the marauder's era, but it's the characterization

Also, everyone says "Canon? What's canon", but the only reason the marauders era exists is because of canon. It's like me making Sirius a blonde, and I go "Canon? Never heard of her"

Prongsfoot pipeline:

Man, James and Sirius are besties

Prongsfoot platonic soulmates!!

James and Sirius are more than friends, they’re like brothers

James and Sirius would choose each other over their romantic partners (in a brotherly way)

Haha i love it when James and Sirius joke about being lovers and everyone thinks they’re dating, but they aren’t cuz that would be incest, right?

they were each others first “practice kiss”

they were each others gay awakening

it wouldn’t be that weird if they kissed, right?

Wait… romantic prongsfoot is kinda… but like ironically

they’re in love. its basically canon and its taken over my life

I fucking hate the "James hates Sirius after the prank" trope. I'm sorry but there's NOTHING Sirius could do that would make James hate him. James would probably kiss Sirius and praise his great prank idea. These two will never abandon each other and that's it.