The Senate Has The Chance To Do The Funniest Thing This Ides Of March

They’re so Orpheus and Eurydice. But like. If Eurydice went willingly down so Orpheus could live, and Orpheus gouged out his eyes so he wouldn’t fail.

Partially inspired by this post and, you know, everything i love being orpheus and eurydice in some way

The Emperor Undying, the Kindly Prince, Necroslut Prime.

It’s so hard being someone who loves canon Sirius Black and going into the Sirius Black tag only to see posts about w*lfstar and j*gulus, along with the worst takes I’ve ever read in my entire life.

Honestly, with all due respect, a lot of you are a bit stupid, yes.

While making dinner tonight, I very very fleetingly, but very seriously and legitimately thought “I should watch Goncharov tonight”

And then I Remembered.

McGonagall was a jily shipper and partnered them together for class work every chance she got from 5th year on. Lily assumed it was because she struggling in the class but she secretly loved having a reason to spend time with James.

McGonagall was James’s biggest advocate for becoming head boy

i could do a ted talk on how the jedi asking anakin to spy on palpatine for them was the final nail in the dark side coffin

I’m team kittywater, not because I ship it, but because this fandom has a habit of humanizing the most despicable male characters and villainizing the female.

Barty, the loyal follower of wizard-moustache man (of his own volition mind you; his parents were anti-voldy) who tortured fralice to insanity, bullied neville, and tried to have Harry killed is suddenly a fan-favourite who can do no wrong.

But Umbridge, the worst thing she did was be an asshole and abusive to her students (which is still extremely terrible, just not on the same level as genocide) is all of a sudden unforgivable and more hated than voldemort himself.

I have a love/hate relationship with the Marauders because. James Potter? People like you are the reason I used to hate going to school and I need you to know you are NOT funny. Sirius Black? You're with James Potter. Remus Lupin? You're like the spineless husband in AI-generated Reddit stories where everyone in the comments is telling OP to leave you. Peter Pettigrew? I've read the Harry Potter books.

But also ha ha I'm going to make some wizards KISS

During the 4th book:

Ron: Sirius-

Sirius, indignant: James used to call me that

Harry: That's because it's your bloody name

Hermione:

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.