More Notes On: Writer's Block

I will succeed. Not immediately. But definitely.

i love the secret history so much. francis and henry are out there admitting they’ve murdered someone and i’m here giggling at how bitchy and mean girl-like they sound when talking about bunny

henry’s LITERALLY like: well richard the thing is we murdered some farmer or whatever while having a sex ritual and bunny found out about it so he got into my apartment to wait until we got back. which is fine because who cares right i mean we were pretty busy since we had so much cleaning up to do but that BITCH also ate my ice cream and let it melt all over my oriental rug and now it is ruined forever UGH can you believe him

Your story doesn't "have a message;" your story IS a message. The narrative and characters and setting and dialogue are just determining whether or not you delivered that message well.

I said I was going to move in silence but I think the better way of putting it is that I’m not going to spend unnecessary amounts of time and words on a situation that doesn’t need to be explained when I’ve already solved the issue or planned it out in my head. External validation is a trap.

How fucking annoying is it when you feel so restless with creative energy but you can’t decide what to do with it and when you finally try to create something it comes out shit so you just give up and sit there being all creatively annoyed and jittery.

While I’m on the subject, I want you guys to learn this…

Did you know that how you talk to yourself alters your DNA?

The way you speak to yourself, your thoughts, emotions and inner dialogue—impacts your DNA through epigenetics. Negative self talk raises cortisol, triggering genes linked to inflammation, aging and diseases. Conversely, positive self talk activates genes for healing, resilience and longevity. Chronic stress and emotional trauma can alter DNA expression and even be passed down to future generations.

This also applies to what you hear. Negative words, insults and toxic conversations increase cortisol, rewiring neural pathways to make stress a default state. Constant exposure to negativity, whether through people or media, can impact gene expression.

Just how stress harms DNA, gratitude, affirmations and meditation can rewire it positively. These practices lower stress, trigger DNA repair, and activate genes for immunity and anti aging. Consciously shifting self talk can change your biology. "It is not that easy!" Yes, it is.

Research suggests binaural beats and solfeggio frequencies influence brainwaves, promoting focus and emotional balance. Mantras, prayers, affirmations can impact cellular structures, proving sound vibrations affect genes.

How long does this take, you ask?

Immediate (Minutes to Days): A single thought can raise or lower cortisol almost instantly.

Short Term (Weeks to Months): 6–8 weeks of daily gratitude, mindfulness, or affirmations can shift gene expression.

Long Term (Months to Years): Consistent mental reprogramming strengthens immunity, reduces disease risk, and slows aging.

Your thoughts shape your body at a genetic level so choose them wisely.

if you've never engaged with a creative art on a regular basis you need to understand that it requires concerted effort to get into "the groove" to make something and every second that it takes to get into that groove causes physical pain, but the only thing worse than doing it is not doing it.

so apply all then

the unholy trinity of piss-poor caretakers, tag yourself:

tomboy, meaning "this child is clearly queer but let's hope it goes away"

sensitive, meaning "clearly neurodivergent and often distressed but let's keep going until they grow numb"

mature, meaning "traumatized but let's ignore that"