Kitchen Nightmares Is Really Just Like

im making the widely hated female characters kiss in my head btw if you even care

Toxic yuri must be evenly balanced. Both lesbians/bisexuals involved must be equally deranged in different ways. No sunshine cinnamon roll meets grumpy ice queen bullshit in this house. Power dynamics might be uneven but not one-sided throughout. We are sicko4sicko only in this house.

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you're welcome

Thinking about Martin Blackwood tonight lads. Do you ever think about how he views himself as someone with very little actual agency and he's the one who ended the story. He's the one who killed Jon. He views himself at first as someone who cannot affect events at all because nobody gives a shit, because he's trying so hard but everyone's just IGNORING him even when he wants so badly to fix this. He at first has no agency because of circumstances. And then when he chooses not to go with Peter, suddenly everything falls apart. All his choices leading up to this, choosing to make a plan to get rid of Elias, choosing to assist Peter, avoiding Jon, avoiding everyone- they all led up to this. So he's just very nervously stepping back and trying to fit back into The Caretaker. He tries to deny himself agency. Hell, he describes himself as the anti christs plus one for gods sake. And when Jon actually asks him to make choices, or acknowledges that yes Martin is the one who wants to make this decision, not Jon. He freaks out. But him attempting to just not Do anything and just sit back doesn't actually help. He still hurts people even when he disappears from their lives, or just tries to make Them make the choices he wants to make. And this makes his conversation with Also Martin so so interesting. He can't avoid making choices just because he keeps making the wrong ones. It doesn't mean nobody gets hurt. Thinks about Martin's view of himself as someone with No Agency vs how much affect he has on the story as a whole. His introductory episode is when the plot gets moving even!

He views himself as someone who has no affect on other people. His choices reflect that a lot of the time. When faced with the fact that yes, even when he's trying to not do Anything, he still affects other people he doesn't exactly handle it well. He affects so much, for better or for worse. He both is the reason Jon didn't end the entire world and he hurts so many people while thinking his actions will do Nothing for anyone but him. Do you get it.

He goes up to the panopticon, still expecting to just delay until they can stop Jon. But Jon does exactly what he told him to do. He listens. When Martin chooses not to leave, Jon tells him to end it. It's just. It's SO. He views himself as never being the focus, as it never being about what he wants, as the anti christs plus one, and he is when we start learning about the plot and he is the one who kills the protagonist do you GET IT. I'm sorry I am currently chewing on walls.

more relativity falls ft. my theory for how Mabel impersonates Dipper

“doctor who is too silly now!”

oh you mean the doctor who that has flattened human skin as a character? the doctor who that has the episode love and monsters? the doctor who that says that the english royal family is werewolves? the doctor who that has james corden in it? the doctor who that in the same episode that james corden is in not only does the doctor speak baby, but the baby wants to be named Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All, AND the doctor can also play soccer very well.

doctor who has always been silly

I cannot believe there's absolutely no way to watch free shows and movies anymore, there are too many paid streaming platforms and pirating websites have viruses and ads preventing you from watching it uninterrupted((.)) id rather follow the rules and purchase media moving forward because it is too inconvenient. Seriously, free and no ads or viruses with 1080p streaming is DEAD.

DIGITAL PIRACY 101

Pinning this since I genuinely think Piracy is a great skill to have and I want to share it with anyone who'd like to see it

Okay so! You need to download something!

Be it a movie, a game, a software, a book. Where do you even start? You know people catch viruses or fines pirating, so how to do it, and do it safely? This is going to be a bit verbose, so coloured text has the most important info. THIS WILL BE LONG but you can just skim it! (P.S. there are some goodies for artists in the end so do take a peek there if you do art and would like courses or procreate brushes) By the end of this you should be able to download or stream almost anything.

(Disclaimer: I'm not super knowledgeable on the technical side of things, just a moderately seasoned pirate. Will explain stuff to the best of my abilities, but there will be wild semplifications. If there's any issue, or precisations you'd like to make, or just need a hand with something, feel free to reach out to me directly on here!)

Putting a cut here so I don't spam your dashes <3 - now, here we go:

First off: ADBLOCKERS. It's dangerous to go alone. Take this: a little browser add-on that will prevent you from seeing ads and popups ever again. Yeah, no more ads on Youtube either btw. Most malware you risk getting while pirating is the result of ads and pop-ups! Important: Chromium based browsers will start dropping support for adblockers starting 2023. These include: Chrome, Edge, Opera, Vivaldi, Brave. (Brave has its built-in adblocker, but it's very controversial, has a huge focus on crypto, and tries to push its own crypto trading ads on you, among other things.) This is simply happening because Google (who mantains Chromium) is in big parts an Ad Company, aka makes money from selling ads to you. Mozilla Firefox is not affiliated or mantained in any way by Google, and will support Adblocking indefinitely. Just so you know. The BEST Ad Blocker around is uBlock Origin, by Raymond Hill (gorhill). It's recommended that you use it at all times, as it will not slow down your browser but will improve your user experience drastically! Official add-on installs: Firefox, Chrome (until 2023)

How does it work? There are two kinds of downloads: Direct Downloads and Torrents. Direct Download Link (DDL): you click on the thing, the browser downloads it. Simple! It's an 1 on 1 communication between you and their servers. Pros: no hassle, super easy, nothing else to do, pretty safe. Cons: downloading big files is sloooow, and if your connection falters just a few seconds, you gotta start from the top again. Torrenting: the good stuff. It's "Peer to Peer", or P2P. The way I understand it: you're put in a room (a "swarm") with a bunch of people. Some want the file (Peers and Leechers), some already have it and are giving it around (Seeders). You all share small pieces of the file around, and eventually everyone will get a complete file. Seeders are the most important part: a torrent with zero seeders will not start (no one is giving out the file). A torrent with 200 seeders will be immensely faster than one with 3 seeders. It's good etiquette to seed back what you download, in a 1:1.10 ratio: you upload what you downloaded (1:1) and then a little more. Sharing is caring! Pros: fast, you can stop and resume whenever you want, you can find torrents of mostly anything, easy to download big files. Cons: unsafe without a VPN (might get fined), a bit harder to understand, might take an hour or two to set everything up. We will get more into Torrenting right now, as it will be the main way to pirate things.

How to Torrent files? You will need: a Torrent Client, a VPN (optional, recommended), and either a .torrent file or a magnet link. Don't panic, this is easy! Torrent Client: a little software that will actually manage the downloading. There is no reason to use anything else than qBittorrent: it's free, open source, frequently updated, has no ads, and has a neat little feature that we will see later. Download and install it and you're all set! VPN: ok, so. You *can* download things without a VPN. I've done it a bunch. Please know, it's unsafe. VPNs are, like, the condoms of piracy. Depending on how strict your Internet Service Providers are about piracy, without them you might get a hefty fine, or simply a warning, or nothing at all. With torrenting, sadly, ISPs can kind of exactly see what you're downloading. VPNs fool your ISP. I'm not a fan of how much VPN services are fooling us in thinking we need them - but sadly us pirates DO need them. I would personally not recommend free VPNs, they aren't too reliable in my experience. I also advice to use a VPN that allows "port forwarding" as that will make the downloads faster. The most loved VPN service in the pirating community is Mullvad. It's VERY secure, actually cares about your privacy (unlike Nord, or even Proton sadly), has no yearly plans to rope you into nasty subscription models. It's so privacy oriented that you don't even need an email, they will simply give you an account number and you will use that. They do NOT want your data. Super neat! Their service is 5€ a month, and I suggest paying only one month, downloading a shitton of stuff, and then just leaving it be until you need another month of downloading bonanza. You will see they accept and encourage crypto payments. Please don't judge them too harshly for this. I hate crypto as much as the next tumblr user - but this is not for crypto bros, this is because they really would like to not have your data if possible. There's people who want to avoid leaving behind any sort of trail showing that they, personally, purchased a VPN, and this option serves them. Torrent files, magnet links: a torrent file is an actual file you download and open in your client. You download "bee_move.torrent", open it in qBittorrent, and it will start downloading! A magnet link simply bypasses having an actual file. it's a link that you will directly open in your client and will tell it what it needs to know, and acts in place of a .torrent file. They're virtually the same. There are dedicated torrent sites that let you search for the torrent you want, and offer either a torrent file or magnet download. Let's see how to find them!

Where to find stuff? r/piracy Megathread - there are links to pirate anything that could be pirated. Navigate to the section you need and follow the instructions! There are usually both Torrent sites and direct download links. The masterpost isn't being mantained anymore - as of 31/10/2022, I'm still having luck with it and finding it a great resource. There are other masterposts though. For example, the Awesome Piracy megathread and the r/FREEMEDIAHECKYEAH wiki. As of April 2023, it’s being rewritten!! Hell yeah!! Go check it out! But some of the torrent sites listed on the masterposts are broken! :( I hear ya, I hear ya! It's perfectly normal. For technical / legal reasons that I cannot comprehend, torrent sites need to change URLs often. This is where unblockit comes in. I'm not sure how it works, so I'm just going to say that it's magic. It gives you working links to all the best torrenting, streaming, DDL sites. From books to music to, uh, adult material. I usually refer to the masterpost to know which sites are the most trustworthy, and then use unblockit to access them. Generally, for example, you will want to avoid ThePirateBay, and prefer 1337x instead.

ALMOST DONE!!! There's one last important thing to set. This is a safety measure, for those who use a VPN service and want to make the most of it. At times, the VPN connection you are using might falter for some seconds. These few seconds that it's not working, your torrent might still be downloading, exposing your IP address briefly and letting your ISP catch you. There is an easy and quick way to prevent this from happening. It's called binding the VPN network interface to your torrent client - it's a big name, but it means you tell your client (qBittorrent) to ONLY connect to the internet via the VPN. No VPN? No connection. No IP leakage. Linked guide above will take you a couple minutes at most.

This is the basic stuff! :D You should be able to download pretty much all you need just from this!

However, since I'm a nerd, here's some other useful things, or more niche sites.

There are tips to make torrenting with VPN faster - I gotta be honest man, I still don't understand *how* this "Port Forwarding" business works, and for some reason I cannot get it to work right now with Mullvad (previously I had North which doesn't support this feature at all). My internet is too slow for me to really mind, anyway. But you should look into it if you're using a VPN and getting slow download speeds on torrents with 20+ active seeders.

Now, this is for all the artists out there. Online-courses.club has, like, an INFINITY of art courses and tutorials, and even some software. It's INSANE, super helpful, some of these courses would otherwise cost SO much. I've been getting a lot of use out of it. They're mostly DDLs, too! I can't recommend it enough!!! Now, time for brushes. I've had a lot of difficulty finding good brushes for Procreate that didn't cost too much. This telegram channel has a neverending quantity of Procreate brushes: t.me/free_brushes. Sometimes Photoshop brushes crop up too. For some popular brushes, they ask for "donations" to download them instead of giving the actual download, which is a big yikes honestly. Thankfully, it's rare. In there, if you scroll really far, there's also a link to another smaller group to download Max Ulichney's brushes.

My favourite way to pirate and share music is Soulseek, a neat little software that work as a Peer To Peer service, but between you and a single other person at a time. You share all your music folder, and others can download from it when you're online. In return, you can download other people's music from their shared folders. It's lovely, the quality of the files is GREAT, the community is actually really chill and honest, since it's just a bunch of peeps sharing mp3s and flacs.

There's also a LOT of telegram bots to download music or videos from several platforms. @MusicDownloaderRobot downloads from Spotify, @joeymusicbot from Deezer, @mediadownbot rips videos and music from stuff like reddit, tiktok, facebook, twitter etc, and t.me/BotsArchive has a vast collection of bots just like these. They can come in handy! Lastly, since I am Italian, here's some resources to find italian material. Those around my age or older might remember TNT Village as the n.1 source of italian torrents. It's closed down, but the magnet links for archived stuff are still out there. Only way to access them that I found rn is this Telegram bot: @tntvsearchbot. Source code here for those who understand this stuff. There's also programmiedovetrovarli, great resource for famous software (Adobe, Office, etc) with instructions in italian. Needs adblocker to be deactivated on their site, but has no popup ads, just standard banners.

Well, this was a lot! Thank you for reading, I hope I was able to help in some way!

Please remember: illegal does not automatically mean unethical, or immoral. Everyone is free to choose what to do and think about piracy. Don't ruin this for those who choose to engage with it, and don't push this on those who'd rather steer clear. I am personally sharing this with you, because my personal opinion is that pirating is often moral, and avoiding giving money to certain corporations (Adobe and Disney come to mind) is always preferred when you can't or don't want to outright avoid and boycott their products altogether.

If you can afford to, always support small creators and artists. If you cannot afford to, then consider that pirating and enjoying their creations, then spreading the word and talking about it online, is still beneficial to them!

Share and Enjoy!