If This Post Gets 100 Notes I Will Tell My Crush I Love Her

Thinking about a ship getting an absolute bully for their first human. The kind of human that knows most aliens are afraid of ‘death worlders’, the kind of human that knows where the line is and how far they can go before they get into trouble, and who they can intimidate to let them cross the line as they want.

Part of the crew is like “I knew humans were just as bad as I thought.” Human doesn’t care. Human represents the worst of humanity, but they’re necessary for the ship - they make themselves necessary, and are not afraid to put the rest of the crew at risk if their authority seems challenged.

And then, they get a new human, who is smaller than the first. The first human tries their usual tactics - and the second human breaks their nose. If they were on the ship itself, there’d be consequences, and the first human knows it. But the second human is not afraid to be labeled a troublemaker, and cause trouble for the first, they do. A fierce competition blooms between them, as the second human clearly attempts to muscle in on the first’s territory, despite everyone warning them not to. And as this goes on, the second human befriends the rest of the crew. They’re different than the first. They are kind, they are smart, they are loyal.

They are a death worlder.

During a shipment of endangered animals from another planet, the first human is mauled by the adults. The second human is injured trying to protect them, but to no avail, the first human is killed. Analysis revealed the first human was sprayed with a kind of pheromone that agitates the species - but there was no reason for the pheromone to have been released by the species. Something else is going on, and the captain know it. The second human, despite the clear trauma, accepts the interview.

After the interview ends, the captain turns off the official recording.

“Off the record,” they ask, “what really happened?”

The human swallows, closes their dark eyes.

“They were trying to steal the eggs,” they said. “I saw them - I heard them on a black line with a darkspace distributer.”

“Why didn’t you report it?”

“Not enough time. And I… I had a feeling they’d done it before.”

The captain waits. The human’s closed eyes water.

“You sprayed the pheromone on them,” the captain says.

The human nodded. “They were so busy with the eggs, they didn’t even notice.”

“But,” the captain says, “You tried to save them after.”

The human’s shoulders shake. “I did.” They sob. “I did. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, but I did it. I did it for all of you. I did it for us.”

The human cries.

No charges are filed. The crew would mutiny if their friend were charged with anything, though the captain finds some way to ease the moral strain on both their hands and the second human’s. Another human is brought on board to help with the strain of the first human’s loss. Thy are bright-eyed, clever fingered, sharp-witted, soft-hearted. It takes time to for the wounds caused by the first human - described as a bully by the humans, also ‘a real asshole!’ by the newest recruit - but now that they are gone, they can all recover, and move on.

The moral here? Humans are not always good, but they should never, ever be underestimated - when they claim a pack, they will protect it even from their own kind.

Sixth Fucking Sense Apparently

So humans have a funky little sixth sense for when someone/thing is looking at us and honestly wtf.

So an alien spy is trying to get human info getting progressively more concerned when the human they're tailing keeps looking around and acting like they know the alien is there. Maybe it's an alien species renowned for stealth and no other sentient in the galaxy had ever been able to spot them so at this point they're double checking themselves and going insane.

At this point the human's figured shit out and so they lead the alien into a trap much to Sneaky McSneakfuck's dismay and confusion.

So eventually humans hold a press conference about the whole stalker and the galactic federation or whatever it would be called is like:

GF: How in the dick shitting fuck did you know they were there??

Human: felt them watching me.

Gf: felt them fucking What.

MY FIRST HUMANS ARE WIERD/SPACE ORCS POST (made entirely by me)

so you know about humans protecting their family, friends, and ect. But they also protect anything they grow an affection to. Animals, Fish, even Things that aren't able to feel, grow or move! (Rocks lmao)

So here's my story.

Rehaans door slides open. All of the crewmates turn to see he’s holding a black hairy carnivore.

Lisa: Oh my god they’re so cute!

Alex: YOOO CAT

Qatàa and Ztrè seem to be horrified by the sight of it and demand Rehaan to not let the beast off his arms. As a stubborn person he is, he gently lets the cat on the floor, and it starts walking towards them. The aliens shriek in fear and quickly rushes behind the other humans for protection.

Rehaan laughs as he walks to the cat and starts petting it.

Rehaan: aww you’re so cute

He says while gently patting their head. Suddenly Qwàtz comes out of his room and sees it.

All of the crewmates dislike Qwàtz after he continuously annoy every one of the humans in hopes for them to reconsider staying on the ship. He looks at us, then moves his eyes to the hairy furball now staring at him with their bright yellow eyes.

Qwàts: What kind of ugly beast did you bring to the ship now? Disgusting!

Rehaans anger starts building up, as his eyes widen in furiosity.

Rehaan: You call my cat ugly one more time and i’l-

Qwàts: Kill you? I’ve heard that from you and your.. ‘’friends’’ a million times already. It is starting to bore me.

Qwàts walks past the crewmates and shoves Rehaan out of the way, hitting the cat with his tentacle and sending it almost across the room on impact. Rehaan and the crewmates gasp in horror as they run towards the cat that has now gottan back on their feet and is hissing at Qwats.

And that’s when Rehaans last thread snaps. He tackles Qwàts and sends him to the ground. When Ztrè and Qatàa garbs Rehaan, Qwàts is already covering his face in fear, trembling.

Rehaan: Fucking deserved it.

Rehaan gently pushes the two other away from him and sprints towards his cat.

Alex: They’re totally fine. There is only a small bruise because they hit the floor, but overall no broken bones.

Qwàtz quickly stands up.

Qwàtz: Amazing!

Rehaan and the rest turns to him, confused.

Sara: What do you mean amazing?! You kicked the poor cat!

She yells furiously.

Qwàtz: So not only does humans protect their own kind if threatened or attacked, but also will protect everything they grow an affection to!

Rehaan: …So you tried to get an answer to a question you could just ask us about, but rather made us feel horrible for weeks?

Qwàtz: I mean I why not? I wished to try out something new to see how you guys response to it. I did not mean any harm, and i did not intend to damage your …

Rehaan: Cat

Qwàtz: Cat. But yea Qatàa made me do it since we were playing something called truth or da-

Rehaan: YOU MOTHERFU-

And that’s how Qatàa ended up getting a black eye

*Applause*

I hope you guys enjoyed it.

Bro why is there naked ladies following me tf

Help what do i do

Interesting facts about astrology🌙🎸♥️🌞🧸

🪐Saturn is also the planet of time and aging, among others. So where you have saturn in your house means that you will spend more time to achieve success. But it is also related to the calendar year. Saturn makes us grow up in the right direction and leads us to the point of knowing some things. Saturn rules not only the father but also the grandfather and people who are older. Let's say when you're watching a cartoon and the main character on his way to his destination meets an old woman who gives him a message (this is saturn).

🌞Sun represents who we are and why we are here. It represents our meaning in life and the fact that we were born with a mission. The sun also represents our heroism and heroic journey through life. The Sun is our conscious self and the essence of who we are as mockers.

♥️Venus represents our way of seduction, as it wants to attract the attention and devotion of the object of its desire. So the sign we have in Venus represents how we want to impress someone or seduce them.

🎸Jupiter represents a positive attitude and belief in unlimited opportunities and resistance to any attempt to limit or control. It is related to our sense of meaning, religious and philosophical beliefs and attitudes. Together with the Moon and Neptune, it is often associated with addictions and weight problems. So Jupiter in the 1st house could mean that you can't gain weight because of it.

🧑🏻‍🎤Uranus' qualities are unconventionality, genius, awareness, eccentricity, idealism, interest in community. The house in which we have uranus represents the area in which we can improve the world and change society.

👩🏽‍🎨👨🏽‍🔬The difference between a person with a lot of Aquarius in the planets and a person with an 11th house placements is that they perceive the world and express themselves differently. Person with planets in aquarius can be for many people, strange, unusual and rebellious perceives things, resists new things, trends and wants to do something in its own way. While a person who has an 11th house placements wants to make a change and thus influence the world. You want to leave your mark and show how we as a society can act differently and progress in technology and the world.

🧜🏼‍♀️With Neptune it's basically a longing to escape from the cold, cruel reality of the world and. So with Neptune we relax by reading a good book, movie or something that distracts us from everyday life. But Neptune can get lost in this relaxation and returning to the real world. Then it can happen that we drink more wine than we intended, or that we stay up too long and then don't hear the alarm clock in the morning.

🧞‍♀️Neptune also gives us fantasies such as the desire to have someone take care of us, to never have to grow up or separate from our parents. Becoming independent and facing your responsibilities. So, for example, someone with Neptune in the 5th house doesn't want to part with things from childhood. And always comes back to them.

🌊Pluto and its roles: grandmother, magician, detective, researcher, psychologist, spy, miner, treasure hunter. In that house where you have a pluto, it shows your relationship with your grandmother.

🪂Aries is the first sign of zodiac signs. They are like new souls entering the world. Many times they tend to bump into things or suffer cuts and bruises that they usually don't even notice. But since Aries rules the head, they often have headaches. It is a sign that never returns to the past but looks forward. That's why someone with an aries moon is never emotionally burdened with the past or emotions from the past.

🌳Taurus is one of the most reliable signs in the zodiac. Taurus will always come on time and stick to what he says. And they know how to enjoy luxury and life. And many times they tend not to want to change anything (from people to furniture) and many times they are also inclined to old school things.

🧸Cancer represents our home, family, environment and where we come from. It shows how we look at them and perceive the family. It describes the history of our families and relatives before our birth. For cancer, it is always important how their tree is composed. You have the most memory in the area where you have the moon and it is there that you have the hardest time breaking away from the past.

🦁Leo rules the heart, the spine, and the posture of the upper part of the body with which it shows its pride. Leos tend to be confident and extroverted, although some can be quite shy and dislike exposure. They like big houses, expensive cars and designer clothes.

-Rebekah🧸♥️🧚🏼‍♀️

humans are space orcs

Like if standardization wasn't common in alien life, we just showed them how easy is it, if they just standardized things. It would be like-

Little human: We have to upgarde parts for spaceship thrusters

Alien: Ohh, little one, because your kind has only had FTL travel for 3 cycles you mustn't understand. A thruster from some other human ship wouldn't just PLUG into your space ship. You would have to find the exact same ship but with better thrusters, but oh, each thruster is especially made for the ship.

Little human: Each thruster isn't especially made for ships. we just have to find a thruster with a E20-1 plug because all human spaceships have a E20-1 port.

Alien: What?

Little human: Its really simple, ANY E20-1 plug fits into ANY E20-1 port

Alien: I know that ANY E20-1 plug fits into ANY E20-1 port, but ALL ships use the E20-1 port

Little human: Yeah

Alien: I-i-i still don't understand?

Little human: its standardized.

I painted and drew shaggy with watercolour :)

I love watercolouring now

‼️ARTFIGHT‼️

**[This document and all associated documents are the property of the SCP Foundation, and are subject to the classification requirements and restrictions therein. This document may or may not contain lethal memetic defense measures. Attempting to access or disseminate this document without proper and sufficient authorization is punishable by death.]**

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☣️ ArtFight URL: https://artfight.net/~_ZOZO_

☣️ Team: <:2024_Seafoam:1251653324995035196>

☣️ Types of characters SCP-ZOZO have:

- humans

- humanoids

- worm

☣️ Types of characters SCP-ZOZO create:

- Humans

- Humanoids

- Ferals(very rarely as it is not SCP-ZOZO'S main style)

- Monsters

☣️ Revenge/Friendly fire?: Due to the unpredictable nature of the anomaly, its inconsistent creations display a probability of friendly fire, but is guaranteed when a revenge is requested from an individual on the opposing side.

☣️ Extra: SCP-ZOZO is to be documented at all times. Only Authorized personnel with a level 4 access card are permitted to handle the anomaly.

☣️ Hitlist: https://forms.office.com/e/54a887K9D1

☣️ Requests to commission are to be followed through the link below before directly interacting with the SCP:

https://msha.ke/zozoshroomer

☣️ Art Examples / Characters

Humans Are Space Orcs: Vestigial Systems Edition

What if aliens don’t have the concept of vestigial systems? And so while they are a much, much older species and their bodies don’t really have cure-alls, when the problem solving thing kicks in, it pretty much just works.

Take the most obvious example for humans: appendixes. The prevailing theory is that it used to be important (like for digestion or immunity), but now we know it’s largely useless. So maybe a human has an appendicitis, they get taken to the med bay, the other humans are a little worried, but not overly so. Alien gets told about it and they flip.

“Human Barbara’s organ has exploded?!”

“Okay, not exactly exploded, but it got all swollen and filled with goo. So they’re taking it out.”

“Human Barbara is having an internal organ permanently removed?!”

“Dude, chill. This happens all the time, no biggie.”

“You are telling me that your internal organs will frequently, and without warning, cease to function entirely?”

“Well, it’s not really ‘cease to function’ per se, ‘cause the appendix doesn’t really do anything. I mean, some scientists think it might? Or like, it did a while ago? But not anymore. We don’t really know anything about it, it’s kinda there.”

“…you have an entire organ inside of your abdomen that simply has no purpose except to malfunction?”

“I mean, yeah, pretty much. It’s called appendicitis.”

“This specific condition happens on such a regular basis that you have a name for it?!”

And maybe even weirder, it’s not just physical stuff. Our social-emotional makeup flaws are responsible for a huge part of humanity’s problems. Our pack-bonding instincts manifest in tons of negative ways, like our nasty habit of “us verses them” conflicts. The fact that we define entire cultures and lifetimes by our dissimilarities is whack.

“Human Bob, I have just heard mention of something called ‘The Crusades.’ What is that?”

“Oh, they were these huge wars that happened during the Middle Ages. Basically it was Muslims and Christians fighting each other for, like, two hundred years over some land that was considered holy.”

“Two groups of humans systematically slaughtered each other for roughly eight generations? Why did they not just share the land?”

“They didn’t want to.”

“I do not understand. Why did they not wish to share?”

“It’s sort of a territorial thing. We don’t like other people near what’s ours. It’s how we survived when we were a developing species, by making groups and fighting off outsiders. That’s why a crew has to do a test run before they get sent out to space. When we first started sending out explorers, we didn’t do that, so lots of missions went to shit because crew members couldn’t handle living together and, in a couple of cases, ended up murdering each other. Pretty bad for PR back then.”

“Humans will become violent if someone they are not pack-bonded with comes near them?”

“Not even near. A lot of colonisation and wars happened because one group didn’t agree with another, so they went out and killed them all.”

“What?!”

“Yeah. Pack-bonding is super super important to us. Human infants will actually die if they don’t get enough physical affection.”

“What?!”

“Uh-huh. Remember when Brian and Steve weren’t talking to each other for a week because Brian’s favourite sports team lost to Steve’s? We don’t even have to belong to a group to get crazy about it.”

“…I must go update the Human Interactions Manual.”