Mikado Mirror

WLC 6.E: Bull-headed

"Listen fast," says Ling to the still dazed minotaur, "The kids are alive, there's one witch coming, and the second's getting the third. I've infily'ed their coven and ya're brainwashed. Play along."

Sheriff Honeycrisp has several questions. Unfortunately for him, Zingiber footsteps were slowly growing louder. He lies back into the junk pile, feigning unconsciousness.

"Water for the lady." Zingiber presents a chalice to Ling as if it contained wine or nectar.

"Thanks, mate." Ling chugs it immediately.

"Ready to see my work?" Zingiber sways with glee. "My latest I call Marrow Radiance."

"Can ya make him do stuff?" Ling puts the empty cup down.

"Oh," says Zingiber, deflating, "Like what?"

"I was just wondering if ya knew mind s***e."

"That's Gudrun's thing."

"So, she had him blame someone in town, then?"

Zingiber giggles, "Sort of. She let him just pick someone who'd fit."

"Really now." Ling resists the negative urges rising in the back of her mind. 'Think of the kids, Ling,' she thinks to herself.

"Sheriff, walk to the main room," Zingiber commands, "Any ideas, Dr.?"

Honeycrisp rises and stumbles his way out, quietly grumbling all the while.

As the ladies follow him, Ling asks, "I thought coven's shared magic. Are ya all studying extra things?"

"Yeah, the coven stuff is mostly utility: reshaping land, portals, material conversion."

"Sounds like your boss wants a construction crew," says Ling, carefully navigating the misshaped hall, "Any idea why?"

Zingiber shrugs. It wasn't going to be that easy.

"Can ya make the sheriff do cartwheels?"

"Yeah, but why?" asks Zingiber, "I can do soooo much worse."

"Gotta start small, mate," says Ling as they enter the main room again. "If ya do your big evil s***e now, how do ya top it?"

"Point taken," sings Zingiber, "Alright, moo-man, do s-"

"Zinj, I need to talk to ya," says Gudrun, standing by another door. She scowls at Ling. "In private." She looks to the sheriff. "Watch the doctor," she commands.

"Sure, what's up?" Zingiber dances across the room and follows her coven-mate into the darkness.

"Cartwheels, really?" angrily whispers Honeycrisp.

"Ya want her to pull your skeleton out your a**e?" whispers back Ling, "That one's a loon."

"All you b***hes are loons," says Honeycrisp, "Chaotic w***es the lot of you."

"Ya got a f**king problem, mate?"

"Yeah, c**ts like you!" shouts the sheriff.

"Of course, they do, b*****d," shouts back Ling, "They wouldn't hate ya if ya'd stop being a sack of s***e!"

"You diseased s**t!" Honeycrisp steps forward, his figure towering Ling. "Just here to bang the kidnappers."

"B****y f**kwit!" Ling stands as tall as can, glaring into his eyes. "Just mad ya've been saved by a woman; ya hate us so much."

"You barely count as a woman, p***y-sucking lizard."

"Says the cuckold farm animal!"

"What is this language?" asks Ioana, who had slipped into the room unseen.

"Wow," mutters the diminutive deputy behind her.

While all the other demons and angels chose to work with humans, Satan said, "I'm getting a dog."

Pekomaru and Satan from Daemon Bride

Wizard Lizard Chronicles 1.1: Prologue of the End

Under the blackened sun, in the half-buried remains of a town, walks a gecko in a regal military uniform. The gold trim of her dark suit matches the streak in the bangs of her long, straight black wig. A band of darkened scales sits across her face, pierced by her unyielding eyes.

"Back where we started," she mutters, as she approaches a the remains of an old stone alchemical store. Her boots kick up dirt as she marches, smashing through numerous magical barriers and wardings; her own power emanating from her (no fancy hand signs or magic words, just raw stubbornness) to clear her way.

She pushes open the battered door with a loud creak and steps in. The building is filthy, but not as abandoned as it appeared. Sitting in a chair of molded dirt in the dark is a figure in a robe and pointed hat. The wizard leans back to see under the brim of her hat and asks, "Came alone, did'ya?"

The intruder licks her eyes. "Yeah," she says, "Finally tired of running, Mum?"

Mourning Gecko (Picture from TheBioDude.com)

This tiny gecko is the basis of the main characters of Wizard Lizard Chronicles. While our protagonist is human-sized, these creatures are small enough to crawl on your thumb. They reproduce by parthenogenesis (mom lays egg, clone hatches), so they're almost entirely female.

Like other geckos, they can climb just about anything and don't blink. They can also detach and regrow their tails.

WLC 4.3: Queen of Swords

"We'll be right outside," says Jevoi to Dalini, "If you need me, just speak up." She exits the room and scowls at Ling.

"Sorry, I don't have fancy pipes," mocks Ling, "Apocalypse is happening."

"It's not about the toilet, Mum," snaps Jevoi, "You're a wizard; you have magic."

"Always thinking magic'll solve everything." Ling shakes her head. "Never thinking about the consequences."

"You don't think it's terrible conditions you were raising her in?" asks Jevoi.

Ling walks over to the little table and stares at the mock tea set. "Better conditions that Nana Ning had... minus the eternal freezing night. At least I've done a better job than Nana Ting."

"Ting?" Jevoi's caught off-guard. "You've never told me anything about Ting."

"How could I?" laughs Ling, "I never met her."

Suddenly, the door from the hall opens and six-armed elf-esque woman with a serpentine lower body slithers into the room. She's wearing a green sweater and, for the brief moment that she was entering the room, a smile. But then, she saw Ling. Now, the smile is gone; replaced with rage.

"YOU!?" yells the raven-haired demon, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!? I"LL KILL YOU!" She conjures six swords and advances toward the wizard. "I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!"

Ling sighs in resignation. "Not expecting to be forgiven, demon."

Jevoi jumps in front of the swordswoman. "Calm down, Angustias, my queen."

"Why are you stopping me?" asks Angustias, her eyes still trained on the wizard, "Why did you bring her here?"

"You know why," says Jevoi, pushing the swords down, "I want her dead too, but do you want to explain to your daughter why Nana Ling had to die?" Jevoi grabs the bronzed amazon's face and forces their eyes to meet. "She doesn't even know you yet. Don't lose sight of what matters, my queen."

Angustias drops her weapons, which fade away, and picks up Jevoi in six-armed hug. "Of course, my empress." The demon's eye briefly twitches in pain and she makes a threatening gesture toward Ling with one hand.

"Mum!" yells Dalini from the bath, "What do I do now?"

Jevoi dismounts her wife and races to the door. She hops quickly in place, alternating legs. "Oh, I'm going to help my daughter get dressed for the first time!" she squeals before calmly walking the door.

"She's stoked about this mum s***e, isn't she?" asks Ling.

"Don't f*****g talk to me," says Angustias, trying to figure out how to pose her arms in loving, motherly way.

WLC 2.A: What's in the Box?

L: The rest of that day was relatively uneventful. We eventually found a place to camp. Maraja went straight to sleep while Kalyani and I... communed... about Vanessa. J: We don't need to hear about that, Mum. D: Sure is a lot of boring adult stuff in this story. L: One day you'll want to know about "boring adult stuff." J: Still don't, Mum.

Maraja took the second watch. She made no fuss about her companions; she would simply pretend that she hadn't noticed. Between the two of them, the spells and wardings would likely be enough without an actual guard, but Maraja couldn't allow herself to become complacent; she will not always be traveling with such magicians. She kept her ears open to the faint distant echoes: things burrowing, skittering, even flapping. While the earlier worm shocked her with its size, the fauna she's met since is small and mostly harmless.

Maraja kept eyeing the passages forward and back. While she had lost track of how far the group have traveled, she trusts Vanessa's eyes to guide them. If they kept following her, they'd find Kirono. The wizard was convinced that the paladins were dating. 'Insanity,' thinks Maraja, 'We're just friends and I'm not about to abandon her.' Her thoughts drift to and fro. 'We are friends, right?' she worries, 'It's not like those Vrow.'

L: Anyway, when we woke, Maraja was really distracted: deep in thought. But we got our things together and continued on. That day, we found a suspicious box. So naturally the first thing we did was make sure they wasn't anyone hiding nearby before we carefully approached it.

The iron chest has a single hinge and a simple lock. It appears tightly clamped and relatively clean. It is clearly out of place here, all three women know that; no one just leaves a container like this in the middle of a tunnel in plain (dark)sight. The real question is: what kind of trap is it?

"Bomb?" asks Kalyani, "Perhapss, a cursse or poisson?"

"It looks koboldic," says Ling, "So poison is most likely, if anything."

"Should we just ignore it?" asks Maraja, "Just raise a little wall around it?"

Kalyani points her staff at the chest. "Jusst give thhe word."

"Hold," Ling raises her hand. "If you see anything appear over the box, sink it down." She points at it and thinks loudly. An image of a dog 🐶 appears over it.

As commanded, Kalyani shapes the stone beneath the box to lower it down and cage it with forcefully formed stalagmites. For a second, she thinks it may have twitched.

"What manner of spell was that?" asks Maraja, "A dog?"

"That's a mimic, no doubt," says Ling, she looks at her armored friend, "Say something, mate?"

"Thhe sspell, dear," says Kalyani, "What wass thhat?"

"Oh that," laughs Ling, "That's my own invention; I call it Detect Consent. I think of something and the idea enters the target's mind then I get a reaction for if they're in favor, against, or unable."

"So what is 'dog'?" asks Maraja, leaning closer.

"Dog is non-sapient," says Ling, waving a few illusions for dramatic effect, "There's also 🧠 brainwashed, 🍾intoxicated, 👻 possessed, ⭐ cursed, 💤 unconch, and 🐣 minor. If none of those trigger, then it'll give a ✅ yes or 🚫 no."

"What about imposssible?" asks Kalyani, "And can you teachh me thhiss?"

"Impossible actions default to no," says Ling, "And I'd love to teach ya."

"So if that were a normal chest," asks Maraja as the group approach the trapped mimic, "It wouldn't have given any response?"

"Nailed it," Ling slaps Maraja's shoulder, "I just realized it'd out these b****rs."

D: Why did you make that spell? L: To keep kids from places they don't belong. Almost every bartender in Inner Glow ended up learning to cast that cantrip. J: And then it spread amongst travelers and drove non-sapient mimics into extinction. L: Can't say anyone's mourning those. J: The propagation of smart mimics that led to was disastrous.

"But the question remains," says Maraja, poking the mimic with her sword, "Where did this come from? Mimics hide near people."

"Sso people," says Kalyani, keeping her staff ready as she leads the group forward, "Musst be hiding near it."

Thinking about Writing

I don't know how many people are actually reading this dumb lizard story, but I'm having fun writing it, improv-ing it one day at a time. I already know the main beat of Chapter 3: How Li'l Jevoi Met the Shadow Queen.

I love old obscure fighting games. MEAT!

Dimitri's Midnight Bliss may be more famous, but I always thought Hell Dunk was a cooler forced morph. Get SLAM JAMMED, Idiot!

What does Basketball have to do with any part of him? No idea.

I was playing Darkstalkers with my bestie and umm...

There's this undead rockstar...

WLC 6.C: Or Not Sexy

Having defeated the witches in honorable combat, Ling now has the chance to explore their lair.

Wasting no time, Ling crawls from the bedchamber back to the main room and enters the next corridor clockwise. These tunnels are as unsafe to navigate as the rooms are: misaligned walls, ceiling overhangs, random steps in the floor.

In the chamber Ling chose arbitrarily, she discovers a yellow-furred minotaur clad in leather armor lying amongst piles of random junk.

"Sheriff Honeycrisp?" asks Ling, "What the- How long have ya been down here?" Ling approaches and shakes the bull.

The sheriff is neither dead nor asleep, but trapped in magical stasis. As he would become an issue in-and-of himself, Ling decides to simply make a note of him.

L: Sleeping bruty would have to wait.

Silently scurrying, Ling looks for another passage. After discovering the kitchen, toilet, and a braintree arboretum, Ling stumbles upon a portal chamber. The dark spiraling tentacled maw shines an unnatural light onto the ceiling.

"Wait there, Dr. Ling," echoes a deep baritone in Ling's mind, "I have been expecting you." As Ling tries to think questions the voice answers them. "I am the entity those witches have attempted to sacrifice children to. Worry not, for I am holding them safe in a private subdomain. However, I cannot safely return them yet; unless I place them back in this specific cave with their kidnappers, they will be flung randomly into your plane. The contract I have mistakenly made must be undone as the trio have gleefully misrepresented my will. Connive a means for them to violate the pact (of which you must uncover yourself) and I shall strip them of the boons they have misused. Be warned, they have studied further arcana; at no point will they truly be defanged. I am asking a lot of you, but I will give you the proof you seek, for I am the teacher you were told of: the missing total six girls and a boy." The vortex adjusts showing Ling the missing children held in a weave of tentacles, eyes, and teeth. "Destroy this coven where my prior agent could not, Wizard Lizard, and I shall reward you."

Ling steps back out of the room, contemplating on both how to confront the coven and how much faith this elder god can afford.

J: And you trusted that? L: It was right; Hanzy was the only boy missing. I was still holding out hope that it was all a misunderstanding and no one was actually evil.

"What're ya prowling around for?" asks a tired Gudrun cloaked only in darkness, causing Ling to jump.

"Water," says Ling, recovering, "Forgot my water."

"Why'd ya come here?" asks Gudrun, low-key irritation growing in her voice.

An idea forms in Ling's mind. "Something called me," she says softly, walking ever closer to the dwarf, "Dark, dangerous." She stops right in Gudrun's face, "Deep." She licks the dwarf's ear. "Do ya feel it down here?"

Gudrun attempts to respond, but emotions and exhaustion cut off all attempts. She sputters, red in the face. Fortunately for her, it is at this exact moment that Zingiber prances into the scene.

"What are you two up to?" she sings, "Ready for round two?"

J: Do you really have to talk about this in front of Dalini. L: She's not listening to this story anyway. Not since ya put that huge cake in front of her. D: CAKE CAKE CAKE NOM CAAAKE L: Great parenting, by the way.

"Always, but I've got a question: what are ya beauties doing down here?" Ling says backing away from Gudrun. "Most witches I know stay clear of the Underdank."

"We're working with someone special," says Zingiber, "He's kind of a pain, though. He speaks in riddles and code. He'll say not to do things when he clearly wants us to do them. The eldritch are silly like that."

Ling nods along. "When's your mate showing up?"

"I guess I can message her; she'll want to meet ya." Gudrun heads back to the bedchamber. "Zinj, ya watch her."

"Absolutely!" shouts Zingiber, "I can show her all my cool murder and torture spells." The elf dances about, like a schoolgirl or an electrified worm.

"Ripper," mutters Ling, her hope bitterly dying.